I am a good father with no criminal history...drug abuse...etc. I don't mean take the child and skip town but just take her and not give her back. We are seperated but have no legal papers yet... I haven't seen her in a month and I am scared that will happen again.
2006-12-17 05:23:44 · 21 answers · asked by fromatoms2adam 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Yes - the legal side is important, but more important is the child's safety and welfare. Is the child happy and healthy where she is. If yes, then you need to leave her there and make any kind of transition for her smooth and safe. It does her no good to have you yank her in one direction and the mother yank her in another. It is hard for you, I know that is true - but you must remember that children need consistency and routine to feel safe and happy. Work the legal angle and be patient, for your child's sake.
Peace!
2006-12-17 05:50:57 · answer #1 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take the child the courts will side with the mom,
but if you are helping out with the childs care, daycare, clothes etc.. keep the receipts this will look good on you in court and although you may not get custody you can get the judge pissed off enough to think ill of her, reprimanding her for not letting you see your child. So call your ex up and ask if your child needs anything you could pick up, and push for a court date asap to resolve the rest, the best divorces are done through mediation and require no lawyers my mom hashed it out with my step dad fighting for my brother for 8 years for custody and money and every thing else under the sun. Dont do that to your child and put them in the middle or make them choose.
of course this is under normal circumstances.
2006-12-17 13:33:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you take your child then you will never see your child again. Go to the court and get things legalized. I have a step son and that was the best thing. That way the court says what goes and not the parent. This way everything is in the best interest of the child and not the parent.
2006-12-17 14:21:39 · answer #3 · answered by kelliemag 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since there has been no separation papers filed and no custody suit filed,You could take the child into your home and that same day have the papers filed for a determination of custody.Check with your attorney first,howeverThe courts will step in and see that the child is put in the home that is best for her. they will take into consideration that your visitation has not been allowed regularly.I hope you have been documenting all phone calls ,visits and letters to gain visitation with your child. That will be important. You will also need to be flexible, so that the mother of your child gets fair visitation during that period. Good Luck and I'm sorry for your misfortune
2006-12-17 13:38:28 · answer #4 · answered by Rhea B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bless your heart! I would get a lawyer and get some legal advice. I know that laws are different in each state. To take the child without the mother's knowledge would make the matter worse I think. The best case scenerio would be to get her to cooperate with you. Without knowing the whole circumstances it doesn't sound like she is going to be willing to do that. A lawyer can draw up papers for visitation or even give you full custody. Good luck!
2006-12-17 13:28:53 · answer #5 · answered by Becky 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That would be my first instinct, to take my child from them no matter what, but the best thing is to take legal action. This way you cover your butt by doing the right thing. Legal action when it comes to children is the best way to go. My brother in-law went through something so similar. He took her to court (which was just mediated) and legally they drew up a contract on when they could have their girls. If she decides its her kids she can do what she wants you call the cops and have it put on her record so you have better chances of custody. They are your children too, don't ever let anyone tell you you can't see them, even their mother! Good luck sweetie!
2006-12-17 13:34:03 · answer #6 · answered by MegM0930 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No,don't take your child.Take your wife, instead...straight to court. Go get a court order allowing you weekly visitation rights. Tell the judge you want joint custody of the child when you get your divorce, too. Get a SET schedule of visitation. Then, if she refuses to let you see the child, she can be held in comtempt of court. Why doesn't she want you to see the child? If you are a good father, it will be in the best interests of the child to have regular vists with you. The judge will order that. Get a lawyer and get it all in writing.
2006-12-17 14:05:42 · answer #7 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take her cause you'll go to jail and likly not be allowed to see her anymore. I know it's hard but get going on the papers. File FILE FILE, come monday morning! Get it done the legal way. If your a good father and deserve to see your child then be patient, don't make everyone think your a bad father or a criminal.
2006-12-17 13:50:03 · answer #8 · answered by Camerons Mama07 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you, but I don't think that's the best answer. I think you should go find a lawyer and draw up a separation agreement with specific visitation. If she doesn't follow those, she'll be in contempt of court and can be arrested. Try not to confuse the child....taking her away from her mother would do that I think.
2006-12-17 13:27:20 · answer #9 · answered by muscgrad2002 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you leave the state it may be construed as kidnapping.
Not sure what are your rights but without legal separation or divorce decree you can have custody as well as the Mom, however if you take the child and do not tell the Mom she calls the police and it becomes Kidnapping.
2006-12-17 13:52:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋