I have been dating this guy for about 3 months. He's basically a really good guy, but he's totally insecure about our realtionship. He's starting to be clingy and whiny about everything. I can't hang out with my friends without him getting mad. He wants to break up with me if I go out with my friends without him. I'm at the point that I want to get rid of him, but I don't want to hurt him too bad. Why would a guy (he's 31) act like this? What gives?
2006-12-17 05:20:34 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is not acting like that,but that's what he is.You dont need to stay in this relationship coz its not going to get better.He sounds too silly to me.Do you want to spend the rest of your life without hanging out with your friends?.Do you want to be prisoned in his strings?,Come on,he's not giving you reasonable liberty of hanging out with your buddies.Do you want your future to be like this?
Please decide for yourself.
Do yourself a favour by moving on,coz its foolishness to stay in a relationship like this thinking that he will change and things will get better.He wont change, cant be changed.So the best thing to do is change your mind and find someone special whom you truely deserve.
2006-12-17 05:39:55 · answer #1 · answered by Sheeth 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you see NO future with the guy and yet you don't want to hurt him, do this: drop a word once or twice, be a little firm, do NOT, DO NOT give in to his demands about curtailing ur other freedoms. Look, if he's a guy, and he's serious about you, he better be supportive or at least accept EVERY part of your life. If he doesn't, try to tell him at first, but if he's that way at heart, then u have no option. Give him warning signs, and hate to say this, but do wat's right....
A 31 year old should NOT be behaving like this.... but there's a reason why every guy IS the way he is. So try to get to know him a lot better, and if he feels that you understand him, even he'll respect your wishes a lot :-) And hey, if the relationship doesn't work out, he'll then at least be a friend....
2006-12-17 13:28:59 · answer #2 · answered by Praveen C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's got neurotic tendencies because of emotional and/or mental issues. Unfortunately, you might just have to break up with him, even if that's painful for him.
Explain to him that he is being unfair by demanding that he be able to monopolize all of your time. Maybe he is aware of the underlying reasons why he is acting this way, maybe not. If he absolutely refuses to change, then there is nothing you can do. I had friends who acted the same jealous, monopolizing way as your boyfriend. In the end, I had no choice but to break off the friendship.
Karen Horney is a psychologist who wrote a lot about neurosis. You might want to check her stuff out.
2006-12-17 13:31:13 · answer #3 · answered by Underground Man 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The balance between holding on and letting go is a challenging one. He likes you enough to be jealous of you so in a way its a compliment. He may not be aware this is causing an issue with you. Try to talk to him about it if you feel maybe set up some ground rules so that you both can be comfortable with.
2006-12-17 13:26:51 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he's threatening a breakup over small things like a little friend time, then maybe you should just take him up on his offer. Don't baby him, let him find out what it's like without you. Maybe he should think about your feelings, so don't worry about hurting his. And if you do hurt him, remember that time heals all wounds.
2006-12-17 13:25:01 · answer #5 · answered by Milwaukee_Baby 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW - a 31 yo acting like that. He needs a pair of *****. Anyway, I would sit him down and talk to him. If he can't back off some, I say get rid of him.
2006-12-17 13:25:18 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have also dated guys like this. It's so disappointing when you're trying to get to know someone and they begin to act like this. I think it comes from their insecurities. I would tell him that it will not work between us, yet I would also try teaching him how he might try to change his ways with the next girl.
2006-12-17 13:25:21 · answer #7 · answered by tru_til_da_end 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he had alot of bad relationship troubles and maybe he really loves you sooo much he never wants you to hurt him like other girls might have
2006-12-17 13:24:02 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
U need to stand up 4 your self and dont think about him 4 once he'll soon get over it. BREAK UP WITH HIM!
2006-12-17 13:24:17 · answer #9 · answered by babyshia23 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he might have been hurt in the past. he's scared you might do the same thing to him.
talk to him about how you feel...and then if it doesnt change suggest a a break, and then break up with him.
2006-12-17 13:22:36 · answer #10 · answered by beautiful is a phase 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋