Question for serious Catholics: How do I give Christian advice in the following situation?

Question

I have a female friend (not very close,but close enough)who is a few years younger than myself (she's 19).Her parents are very very devout Catholics(Mass once a week in church,a mass weekly in their famliy home,1-2 bible study meetings each week,famliy prayer each Sunday for one hr..etc.) yet for the past year my friend has refused to participate in these various activities.In the past year,her parents have expressed their objection to her,but have never insisted on her attending,at most telling her that she was committing a motal sin. Recently my friend has approached me and told me that her parents told her that they have "finally seen the light and it's their responsibility for her faith while she is still living under the family home,and that she MUST attend mass,bible-study meetings in obedience to her parents".My friend has now left home this evening totally upset and angry with the whole situation(i think staying in a motel).I am also Catholic(not like her folks),what can I do?

Answer 1

Love never fails. The BEST thing you can do is...avoid the situation unless she brings it up.
Keep talking to her & hanging out as usual. Your love will speak louder than the condemming words of her parents.This love is what will keep her grounded.
Love draws, whereas codemnation repels.

Answer 2

Both your friend and her parents have begun the process which will eventually arrive at the correct solution to the problem.

She wants her freedom. They rule the household.

Pretty soon, each will truly come to understand the price they must pay for failing to successfully communicate with each other.

Hopefully, this is a result of simple emotional issues, rather than a lack of love.

The best thing you can do is facilitate the love, and try to avoid doing anything that will make the situation any worse.

I would suggest that you avoid taking sides, and that you do not loan money to your friend, if she can't afford to live on her own.

Prayer would also be helpful.

Answer 3

I would suggest that she comply with her parents. If she is financially dependent on them, she owes them for what they have done and are doing that is good for her. If she wanted to be honest with them, she would also express her views of what kind of moral life she would choose, if she were able to live independently. In effect, she would tell them that her participation in their form of Catholicism is for their benefit non for hers.

In a religious-based philosophy we are commanded to do the "right" by duty. In a reason-based philosophy we do what is required based on the relationship principle of trade. People are in relationship because there is always a trade. The balanced relationships are those in which both parties are free to give and receive equal pleasure from each other. Duty or force indicates the relationship is imbalanced and either one or both parties are unwilling to trade fairly. One person feels he/she has to sacrifice for a return that is considered unfair. Just like when you are not willing to spend $300 for a glass of water. Circumstances can change such trade imbalance. Like if your life in the desert depended on a glass of water and you had the money to pay for it.

Where your friend is at the moment in life determines the correct price of the trade. One should consider this questions, What does she get from her parents? What are they asking in return?

This type of dilemma is not just for Catholics or Buddhists. This is an ethical question for anyone who wants to live by the virtue of rational reasoning, which is the only way one can choose moral actions.

Answer 4

You really can't do anything, but just keep her in your prayers. Her parents were actually trying to do good, but they failed to realize that she's an adult now, and she can make her own decisions about her spirituality. They actually may have done more wrong than right. Just make sure that you're there for her, she'll need a friend now. Best of luck to you, and her.

Answer 5

Sit down with the parents and remind them of Jesus' parable of the Prodigal son. To have faith is to be able to love and to let go, trusting wishing and hoping for their return, and loving them when they do.