Is this considered Child Abuse?

Question

My sisters friend is 17 and her mom makes her do everything around the house the cleaning, cooking, taking care of her two brothers making sure they do their homework, clean their rms etc. Her mom also make her work so she doesn't have too and she goes to school (she is a senior) and if she doesn't do it her mom calls her names. Is this a form of abuse and would she be able to move out?

She does have mental and verbal abuse and has talked to the school consulor about it but because her brothers deny it the school won't do anything. She is trying to "hang in there" but she cries all the time and can't take it anymore!!

YOU ALL JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND SHE HAS HELD OUT AS LONG AS SHE CAN, HER MOM MAKES HER STAY UP UNTIL ALL THE DISHES ARE DONE, SHE HAS TRIED TALKING BACK TO HER MOM BUT SHE JUST YELLS AT HER SHE DOESN'T HIT HER BECAUSE SHE KNOWS THAT, THAT IS "TRACEABLE". SHE HAS THOUGHT ABOUT COMMITING SUICIDE JUST TO END IT ALL.

Answer 1

i had to go through the same thing as a child. she if she can find another place to stay to finish out her senior year...like with her friend or something. i stayed with my grandmother my last year in high school...it was hard but it was worth it because once i graduated i went on to college and never went back home....so tell her that if she can't find another sanctuary that she should hang in there...she doesn't have long until she can leave home for good...
when does she turn 18...once she turns 18 she's considered and adult and therefore she can move out of her moms when she gets ready...it would seem possible since she already works a job

Answer 2

This a really hard situation. Yes verbal abuse IS abuse! She could try reporting her mother to the department of family services. If no one believes her, have her record her mother and present it to someone of authority. If she doesn't put a stop to it, her mom will pass it on to her younger siblings.
Doing the stuff around the house and working and going to school are not abuse. These things aren't always fun, but she'll be glad for her work ethic later. It is really sad that her mom doesn't realize what a great kid she has! I know how hard it is. But she seems like a strong person. Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Soon she will be able to walk away and never look back. Yes I believe she could move out now. Some states consider you an adult at 17. But remember, living on her own won't be all that easy. There are a lot of hidden costs, things that can be taken for granted until a person is responsible for them themselves. Good luck

Answer 3

Name calling is verbal abuse, but probably it's not bad enough to prosecute. As far as the work outside the house, you'd have to consult child labor laws, but it's unlikely to qualify as abuse. Making her help keep house and raise siblings is not abuse in itself. However, if the girl is being driven to do the mother's bidding nonstop dawn to dusk under threat of serious deprivation or physical punishment, then it's abuse. I doubt that's the case.

You didn't ask, but I suggest she stop consenting to being pushed around. (It's good practice for the adult world) Defy her mom any time the demand seems excessive, and refuse to be manipulated by name-calling. Like, refuse to fold Mom's personal laundry. Just refuse, saying nothing, not responding to name calling or orders. Mom will probably escalate, but probably only to a point short of actual abuse ... realistically, a 17 year old has the self-suffiency to stand up to her mother without tolerating abuse. If Mom hits, pick up the phone and threaten to call 911. Remember, the second she turns 18 she's outta there.

Answer 4

Her mom is not doing her job as a parent, which is to care for her children.

Verbal abuse can be just as destructive as physical abuse, and what your friend needs, especially as a senior, is to be in school and be a teenager. Her mother either needs to take responsibility for her and her brothers soon or else, yes, your friend would be able to either legally emancipate herself or get welfare on her side. The hard part is there needs to be solid proof that she and her brothers are being neglected, and of course, she has to be willing to go against her mom.

What can I say, that's a tough question. I hope things work out for your friend and her family.

Answer 5

Unfortunately...It's NOT considered child abuse! It's just a HUGE case OF LAZINESS!! Calling her names is a form of VERBAL abuse..but I'm sure at 17 she can say a few choice words back!! At 18, she can move out and leave mom to do EVERYTHING herself...including get a job! So...have your friend hang in there a little longer and she'll be able to walk out, while saying a few choice words...and not look back! My son is planning on doing this when he turns 18 and leaves his father's house!! His father WON'T let him move back home...he's only 15!

Answer 6

Awww crap all you guys. That girl is being treated like a slave. Your friend needs to stand up to her mother, telling her all the legal ramifications and what she is doing is damaging to her family. Your friend needs to report her own mother to social services, especially if she feels as if she wants to end her life. Its not the worst thing, taking care of all your younger brothers and sisters, and I know she feels an obligation to them, but if your friend really really wants to just GET OUT, enough reports to anonymous child abuse hotline will get an investigation going. Your brothers and sisters may go to a next of kin or a foster home, and your friend could try and be emancipated (considered an adult by the court before age of majority (18)). It may only be temporary move, but im betting it will kick mom out of her laziness habit and open her eyes enough to realize shes neglecting her kids and making slaves out of them. dont stop at your counsellor, go as high as you can. Call the news if you have to just DO SOMETHING

Answer 7

well if she has alot on her plate on top of being verbally and mentally abused then she should think about moving out. At age 17 it can be done but if she is doing it through court it could take a little longer.

Answer 8

She can move out when she is 18. Or she could run away, but only then her mom might make one of the other kids do it. So what does the mother do? My best friend, is in the same situation. Exact, except only she has a kid now, so it makes it worse. She threatens to kick her and the baby out, knowing she has no place to go. It's rough, but the only you can do, is help out by being her friend.

Answer 9

It's not exactly child abuse.IF her mom doesn't have a job and isn't looking for one then the kids need to be put in foster care.I asked the same question but it was about my mom and her violence, Not cleaning and everything.My mom makes me do all that except I'm not really old enough for a job in this town.I'm 13.So I would say no.

Answer 10

This is just a way to prepare the girl for her future with her very own family. What husband wants a sweet pretty bride but cannot keep his home in order or their kids with a proper upbringing? Life is tough out there. Whatever discipline you get should be appreciated. Although the verbal abuse is uncalled for. She should try her best so as not to be called names. She has to realize her mother's situation as well. Lots of stress perhaps. But trust in the Lord for all answers. He is the only way.