What is right/wrong with my 5 year-old son?

Question

My son is very loving playful creative affectionate and intelligent. He can read books, count infinitely, tell you how many quarters go into a $1, $5 etc, will give you back change that doesn't equal $.25...His kindergarten teacher is concerned with his development. He doesn't concentrate on work (bored?). He doesn't pay attention in class. Needs to be reinstructed redirected. He claims to need help with getting coat on at school. He depends on following another child to the right bus line -yet knows bus number and bus drivers name - his home address and ph#. He doesn't color in lines. He engages adults in appropriate conversations and ignores peers. Poor gross motor skills, very clumsy. Runs in a skipping fashion. He is very big for his age (looks and articulates like a 6-7 year old) They wanted to have him tested. We agreed over a month ago...then nothing. Now they won't talk to us about his development/findings - schedule a meeting. Any help is kindly appreciated.

no self stimulating behaviors - hand flapping no problem with noises or textures
some obsessions with things like fire alarms
pediatrician thinks he's brilliant. he said until school could provide evidence it would be my choice to request neuro tests. When the doctor asked if we wanted to get a new vaccine. I declined until more is known. My son looked him straight in the eye and said 'excuse me, but my mom said no to you. it's rude to ask her again.' He laughed and said - "You are right **, I apologize." then looked at me "There is nothing wrong with **"

Answer 1

Asperger kids don't necessarily have self stims like flapping and rocking, especially high functioning ones. My son is very HFA, and with lots of work around neurotypical kids has learned more appropriate behaviors and social interactions.

If the public school is testing, according to federal law they have thirty calender days AFTER you signed papers to do the testing. Did you sign paperwork? anyway, schools cannot diagnose medical problems, so you need to follow up with a developmental psychologist and see what they say.

Good luck, you have a great-sounding kid. With some work, all that school stuff will get better.

Answer 2

Maybe your son is some sort of genius. They often have difficulty interacting with peers and sometimes have difficulty with ordinary tasks because they just can't pay attention to 'normal' things. As for the school, they need to get up off their butts and test him. The longer the problems go on without help (different classes) the bigger problem your son will have. Schools like to put these things off because they cost extra money but they are required to do them. I have a disabled son and I have to fight for him all the time. Get an IQ test done immediately, I think it will explain a lot. Good luck, you may have a prodigy!! :) I just had to come back and answer some more. I was very smart as a child and it really made me mad to be in normal classes, it was so boring and such a drag. I implore you to not stand by and let this go. I have three children and none of them intelligence wise are anywhere near where I was at their ages. They have other stengths, such as being more social and artistic and they are all very good spellers where I still can't spell to save my life. :) I scored at college levels in english and math by the time I was 11 but the schools did nothing. I dropped out at the age of 16. Don't let this happen to your son!!!! He needs special classes that fit his intellegance maybe even a private school will give him a scholarship. Don't let him fall through the cracks. I am embarassed to tell you such a private thing about myself but I want you to realize what the price may be if you do nothing.

Answer 3

Sounds like you have a very intelligent child on your hands. He is most likely bored with the subject matter being taught in his class. He may need to be moved up a grade ( the age difference doesn't seem to be a problem since it sound like he is more comfortable associating with those older than him), or be transfered in to a program for gifted and talented students. HIs groos motor skills will most likely catch up with the rest of his development. My son is also large for his age and your description of your son is very much how I would describe my own. There is nothing wrong, he is gifted, but he will need some help from you and his teachers so he doesn't become so bored at school that he gets into trouble.

Answer 4

As a school counselor I know there is more to the input from their side. Did you sign the paperwork for testing? Did they give you a time frame? Depending on the state you are in there is a certain amount of time to get the testing and report done. Don't give up on them, or get upset because your son is going to be attending schools for the rest of your life. You want them to be on your side, and not have to battle them for the next 12 years if your child does have an issue... In addition to the schools, go to his Pedi and have him evaluated for ADD/ADHD or maybe an autism spectrum disorder? If he continues to have poor gross motor skills, have him evaluated by a Physical Therapist or an Occupational Therapist. You can also look up strategies to improve motor skills online. There is a wealth of information and this is something you can be working on now.

Good Luck and Take care.

Answer 5

Read up on Aspergers Syndrome. My son was diagnosed with this in Kindergarten and has exactly what you have described. Very smart, but problems, with gross motor skills, coloring messy, having a huge vocabulary talking to adults approprately, but not socalizing with peers properly. Very clumsy, needs help with things, etc..All the same. Aspergers syndrome is a high functioning autism. Average to Above average IQs. My son has high IQ with vocabulary... Not what you would think of when you hear autism, but they just mainly have problems with social skills, motor development, concentrations, daydreaming, etc... You just need to keep on top of the school about testing him. Since my son was tested, he has made better grades, etc. They will cater to his needs. Modifyhis work, so he can finish it, etc. If you have any other questions you can email me through my profile...Good Luck:)

Answer 6

It could be your son is gifted, or he could simply have ADHD. However, I lean towards gifted with the info you've given us simply because my 6 yr old has ADHD. He would climb at inappropriate times and on everything. He would interrupt everyone and speak loudly and hit for no reason. We had the teacher, me, and my parents each fill out the same paper for the doctor and when she went over those and met him, it was determined he had ADHD. Granted he is distracted very easily (when he's not on his meds), but unless your son is displaying any destructive or damaging behavior, I would go to the school and basically demand help. Answers. Something!! I would in my own opinion become what most would refer to as an over protective parent and basically *itch until I got results. Speak to all of his teachers, vice principal, principal, super-intendent....if you have to go to the school board to get results, do it. Do whatever it takes to get the testing done. Just do it because if you don't...how will you know if he's getting the education he deserves.

Answer 7

I have a 2yr, but I don't feel there is anyhting wrong with him, maybe when he does those things at school he probably wants attention from the teacher, I'm not for sure in particular. He seems to be very smart, just practice with him at home on the skills that you think he should improve in like coloring. Concentrate on those and see how he reacts to it. Other than that pray on it and I'm pretty sure your question will be answered. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 8

Strange that they won't let you know the test results, or is it they don't want to test him? I'm not sure what you mean.
I would speak to his teacher and maybe a school counselor. I would def. seek a professional opinion. As one of the posters said, he actually sounds normal. Children develop different talents at different rates. Just don't let him feel you are concerned or "studying" him. It may cause him to act "out of the ordinary" as well.
Give him just fresh food, nothing from the can or with conservatives. Some children are allergic to conservatives and have concentration problems as a result.

Answer 9

Try to keep calling them....try to find out if you can find a way to test him without the school if they are taking too long to do it. There are a few things that could be contributing. From a psychological stand point....he may have social stress problems with people his age- even this young he may see them as inmature (although this wont be something that he can tell you) He may know that he is smarter than them and feel like he can't relate to them. He may be around too many adults and be skipping the social steps he needs to be taking with children his age. He may be maturing in certain stages in his life too quickly and not quickly enough in other areas. When I was little I was always around adults and so I have always been more mature in the way I carried myself to fit in with the adults and always looked at people my age as inmature.....There were certain social skills with my peers that I never seemed to accomplish becuase I was conditioned so young that I didn't act that way because that is how children act. It helped but it also hindered me in many ways. Get him involved with more people his age.....get him tested with or without the school involved to have him checked for learning issues (you might find out that he is even borderline genius in a certain aspect- meaning he will be really good at something and need extra help in others) Good luck and remember keep him with his peers more than adults or older children and STAY PATIENT!!

Answer 10

He's probably bored with the work..it's TOO easy...BUT because of his size...he wants to ACT like the other kids in his class...BY skipping instead of running or the other things you mention..he may just be doing that so he doesn't feel that he doesn't belong!! My uncle was sitting in a 1st grade class desk in kindergarten because he was TOO big(tall and stocky) to sit at the table in the little chairs...He would ACT like he saw the littler children in his class and they thought the same thing...He's now in his late 60's still tall and stocky...but remembers ACTING that way to fit in!