I have been w my guy for 3 years. He lives w me in my house. He has no driving licence or car, so I am chauffeur, in particular to take him to pick up his daughter from prev marriage, round trip of 4 hrs to collect on Fri or Sat, then again to take home on Sun, every other weekend. He has debts, too, but money isn't an issue between us. Originally we were going to have kids, now he's changed his mind, and it would be a struggle anyway, as I'd have to keep working as I pay the mortgage etc. (He does work, but pays £400 per month child support and paying off debts, too, plus is no good at managing money, so I would never rely on him for financial stability) I know there are probs in the relationship, and this is worse as my way is to talk, but he refuses to do so. My worry is that I am so emotinally needy that I have made him selfish, and because I don't rely on him on a practical level, he has stopped trying to do anything 4 me. Things were better at first, he made me feel special.
2006-12-17 02:23:11 · 13 answers · asked by Rebecca M 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sounds like you are being used to me. This guy should be appreciative, if he isn't you might want to call him on the subject, and if that's how he feels, consider finding someone who is.
2006-12-17 02:28:30 · answer #1 · answered by Rockvillerich 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Easier said than done and 3 years is a long term relationship but you gotta start putting your foot down hun. Its firstly not your fault he got himself into debt, and secondly you do everything for him to make things easier so that he can see his daughter and it doesnt sound as though you get anything in return.
Im sorry but none of this is any of your fault and im so relieved that you have your head screwed firmly on and are not having children with him. The least he could do is to offer some support a shoulder to cry on or just to sit and talk about things. He is burying his head and doesnt want to face things because its stubborness. He will lose you and im almost convinced that the thought has already crossed your mind.
I would give him an ultimatum or ask him to leave.
2006-12-17 02:36:55 · answer #2 · answered by Scatty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to let him know that this is something you really want to talk about. Let him know how you feel, that things have changed and that you think he is making little to no effort in your relationship. Tell him that the situation needs to change and that he needs to make you a priority and start treating you like a girlfriend and not as his personal assistant. Let him know that he needs to get his license pay off his debts (maybe find a better paying job) and start trying to make life better for himself and you.If he doesn't listen or he refuses to make changes for the better of your relationship then maybe you should consider a life without him. I would not put my dreams of your own family on hold because he is irresponsible emotionally and financially. Good Luck.
2006-12-17 02:31:15 · answer #3 · answered by omegalibra927 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So what if you're emotionally needy? A normal guy would either help you change, or leave... not stay and leech off of you. It's a bad combination, your insecurity and his laziness. He's got you trained so he doesn't even have to talk it out with you. I have been there, and it does not get better. I finally told mine I couldn't afford him and he had to leave NOW. He asked for a month to find a place and I said NO. I refused to answer his calls, and eventually he gave up trying. These jokers always have a plan B anyway, so don't worry yourself over him.
2006-12-17 02:25:25 · answer #4 · answered by Kacky 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I study the item, and that i do no longer agree that men cheating is extra appropriate. I on no account felt the comparable approximately any guy that cheated on me---it continually ended presently once I found out. i think of you need to verify out the guy human beings in contact--there are females accepting of a guy's cheating and men accepting of a woman's, if the two believes the dating is nicely worth conserving onto for any reason. And there are people who won't forgive it for any reason.
2016-10-15 02:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to decide whether you're prepared to carry on the way things are cos if he won't talk it'll be difficult to change anything! It sounds like he's got the best end of the deal so won't want anything to change anyway so it will all be down to you. Its not needy to want to feel loved its natural and something we all deserve. Good luck
2006-12-17 02:30:44 · answer #6 · answered by Clarky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you're being well and truly used. Think hard on what you want in life and is he the person to achieve those goals with. If you want to have a go with him, you'd better make it clear you need to talk and he need to be doing his share. You can't be treating him like a child. He needs to take responsibility for his own actions and grow up and you pampering him is just harming you both.
2006-12-17 02:36:25 · answer #7 · answered by Cold Bird 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships are hard. first you need to write down what you need! by that I mean from a relationship not what he is not giving you. then ask if your needs are practical we all have wants but are they needs. after whittling down to the most important ones, approach him an ask if he is willing to satisfy your needs and if he is unable to then I would think your relationship is going nowhere.
remember it's only the little things in life that is really needy.
2006-12-17 02:32:48 · answer #8 · answered by albertpbody 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds like a leech and you are so far in the dumps that you seem to think it's YOUR fault that this "relationship" isn't working.
You are the mommie, here, he isn't a full partner, he is a dependant. Get rid of him, he is sucking you dry. Find an equal who will pull his own wieght and cherish you.
2006-12-17 02:29:07 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So youre telling us there is almost nothing in this for you yet you keep doing all these things for him. Sounds like he has it made and you're the babysitter with no rules.
What exactly ARE you getting out of this relationship?
There are other guys out there you know.
2006-12-17 02:27:48 · answer #10 · answered by Dovahkiin 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋