i just got married to my boyfriend of 4 years about 2 weeks ago. we already have one little girl together that we love and cherish with all our hearts and her 3rd birthday is today. we have been talking a lot about having another baby cause we really want one and we think our little girl would love a little brother or sister. i don't really care what other people think about me having another baby especially cause i am married to him now, but i still worry about my parents reaction. i am going to have another baby no matter what, but i want to know how do i tell my parents when i know they will have their two cents to put in and i may not like what they have to say. i put up with a lot of problems between my parents, my husband (boyfriend with the first one) and myself when i had my first daughter. a lot of that was things i don't really want to go through again. if anyone has any serious suggestions please let me know because i am just so confused.
2006-12-17 01:48:04 · 7 answers · asked by Nicole 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
As a young married mother, I think it is natural to want a child. You have made your vows to one another and there is nothing wrong with having more children.
What you must realize is that your parents live in their own house and live their lives the way they see fit.
You and your husband however have your own lives and should discuss your choices between yourselves. Your decisions have nothing to do with your parents and they must learn to respect you, your choices and your marriage.
I think you will find that you are worrying a little premature. You should not fear telling them once you are pregnant.
If they continue to say hurtful things then distance yourself from them and focus on your new family.
Some people are very stubborn and set in their ways... They live in the past and live their lives in fear everyday. This is not living.
If they can't accept a new grandchild, then they must be very fearful of something, I don't know what...
I think what happened with the 1st child has them worried, but their fears should not be present in this situation.
Get pregnant as planned and live your lives...
You need to makes your own decisions and not worry about other people's opinions....even when you love them. They have to learn to butt out and have a little faith in their beautiful daughter and her family.......
It is called unconditional love.......
2006-12-17 02:25:36 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't understand ? Your parents have nothing to do with your decisions now. This is between you and your husband. Cut the strings which should have been done the day you got married, two weeks ago.
They will love the new baby just as they have loved the first one. Once you become pregnant, then inform the family of the new addition to your family.
When they begin to speak negatively, change the subject, or leave and tell them that you will be back or back in touch when they can deal with this matter on a more happier note.....but be nice while doing this.
Best of Luck !
2006-12-17 09:57:29 · answer #2 · answered by Sunflower 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I recently had my fourth child and believe me my mom wasn't happy, even though I'm married. I just didnt' tell her until I was 6 mo along that I was even pregnant, cause then I didn't have to listen to the lectures for the entire 9 months!
I think the biggest reason they are not happy is that they are worried they won't have all they need (We are definately low income). If you are on decent speaking terms maybe sit down and explain that the baby will be well provided for (but don't lie!) and that this is what you really want-- when you break the news
2006-12-17 10:03:30 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well to clear your confusion when you had your first baby you and your bf were not married and your parents were feeling hurt becasue they I guess believe strongly about what people say. SO when you get pregnant again just be nice and go to them and tell them your pregnant and if they give you drama, well that goes to show they are now good parents or grandparents. But you are a grown woman now and have a husband and who are you trying to please your parents or husband? For one your not maried to your parents are you? SO don't worry if they start drama just leave and just say, Well I just wanted you'll to know and leave. But you never can tell now that your married they might be glad for you. Miracles do happen you know.
2006-12-17 09:55:00 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
well since yr married i think the topic on having another baby is between u and yr husband.. probably they were worried previously coz u were not married yet and there was no family unit thing going on .. so im sure that now they would be ok with it .. im glad that u want to have more kids.. now u seldom see ladies who wants alot of kids. all the best
2006-12-17 09:52:31 · answer #5 · answered by Ed 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you was very young when you got your first baby,and your folks had to take care of her,because you being to young,I understand them,but if you'n your fiancy has raised her by yourselv until now, can't se any problems for you getting one more,married or not,if your folks react in a negative way for you getting pregnant again,just let them and avoid them,they'll come back in better mood one day,believe me I was up to almost the same story some years back. Good luck to you and your family
2006-12-17 11:07:46 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
why do you think ppl will say? you are married now.
the first time you were not married and most ppl think that having child out of marriage is a very bad idea ( which is not the greatest idea either )
but now you are man and wife and no one has right to say a world if you want another child
2006-12-17 10:19:37 · answer #7 · answered by Me 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋