im in a relationship with a married man.im in love with him.should i continue this relationship?

Question

im in love with him and i feel that he is in love with me too.but the problem is that he is married and i dont think that he has plans of getting separated with his wife.what should i do...am i blinded by his love...sos please someone help me...

thanks for your answers.but i just wana add that we have never met before.we never had sex eversince.and if hes blinded by lust,im not really pretty and there are so many beautiful girls out there for him if hes only after sex.but we have been together for 2 years.i know this question should not be asked here in yahooanswers but my concern is rather complicated.

Answer 1

If i were in your shoes, I would quit the relationship.

Even though he has probably told you how "horrible" his wife is, if you continue this relationship, then become his new wife, he will be saying the same thing to his next "other woman".

The feeling of wanting what you can't have can be very strong. You may not even love him, you just love the feelings associated with this tryst.

Trust me, what goes around comes around, and someday you will be on the receiving end of this.

Answer 2

You already stated the answer and it's too painful for you to face: you're giving and accepting unacceptable love. Nobody wants to face pain. It hurts horribly. He will endure because he has another loving relationship to fall back on (having his cake and eating it, too). You are not so sure if you will endure. You MUST end the relationship, it is slowly killing your soul. You must protect yourself like a wounded animal retreats to lick its wounds and heal. FInd a focus (regard it as a temporary crutch or a life change). A friend may help, if you have one. If you have an insurance plan, it will pay for a certain amount of mental health sessions, try it, there's less stigma than many think. Try it again next year. Also, out there to help: many types of spirituality (mainstream & alternative -careful), physical exercise really does sweat out amazing things, experiment with a punching bag at some point in the future. If you isolate yourself, take a shower and walk around in a crowd at a happy event - a farmers' market, book fair, craft fair, look at the dogs, etc, go with a scowl, go home calmed. watch comedies, listen to un-romantic music. Volunteer at something a couple of hours a month even if you hate it, it'll get you out of yourself and you'll see problems people got into largely because of bad heart choices long ago. It's OK to bury your face in a pillow so that you can really let loose with the howls, maybe even stamp around alot. "So many ways to lose a lover" as the song goes. Do you know that I think that God blessed you to reach out for help just in time? You're gonna be alright, honey.

Answer 3

The best thing to do is walk away. If he has no plans to leave his wife--do you really won't to be in the shadow forever? If he has kids ,you have to think of that as well. If he had any true feelings he would have left before now. You can always find someone else that is not married and not having the worry about if getting caught. Trust me, if the wife ever found out then not only would she be angry with him but she will find you as well. Just get out of that one and find a single guy there are plenty of them out there. Besides who to say he left her and a couple of years down the road, he does the same thing to you. hope this helps and good luck.

Answer 4

50 and going for another women when you still have your own family??? I don't see its good way to live coz your children would be around 25 and you want to Fu*k a women who they would call sister??? seriously stupid! but to answer ur question, I would say she must have lost interest in you, might be she was onto your gifts and money and she might think if she makes you spend too much for her probably you will demand more from her which will lead to problem .... second is that she might have others. don't be fooled by her saying she is not characterless, its the best joke I have heard in new year! she doesn't have any character when she did that for you and got things nearly a lakh. if she loves you she won't except things that much cost! do you think a 35yr women will love and have sex with a 50yr old or another 40yr guy?? have sense she is using you! locking car, looking for cops are all right as they are precautions. she doesn't need sex or pleasure form you but ur support as you will lend money when she asks if she continues to tease you orally expecting one day she will allow everything regularly! again don't be fooled... take care of ur family!

Answer 5

You ARE blinded, on account of a man who is unloveable. And he is just that, for what is there to love about a lying, deceiving, two-timing jerk? Can you really feel comfortable about helping in that deception? What about the wife who knows nothing of the shinnanigans of the two of you? How about her feelings? She stood at the alter with that man, and they exchanged vows. What did he tell you? - that she "doesn't understand him?... that she doesn't "do her wifely duty?" Or maybe he just casually mentioned in passing "Er, by the way I'm married"? He probably doesn't have any intentions of actually leaving her, because he's too comfortable. He gets his socks washed and a meal put on the table, and clean sheets on the bed.
I wonder what he does when he gets home after a tryst with you? Does he kiss his wife and ask "how was your day, honey?" How do you feel about being a part of that pack of lies? And how will you feel about your role in this mean deception, if somebody he knows sees him with you and informs his unsuspecting wife? I can picture the confrontation, especially the bit where he tries to placate her, saying "I swear, I love YOU . I'm sorry, it was wrong of me, but it was just a fling She doesn't mean anything to me. YOU are my world" Well, why wouldn't he do that? He's a liar and a cheat already, he ought to be pretty good at it by now.
This is another woman's. HUSBAND, for crying out loud. You are as much a part of the whole sleazy deception as he is.
I wonder if you plan to be a wife yourself one day. How do you think you will feel being the woman of the house, doing your best to nurture a man who's out fooling with another woman? What if he does leave his wife (I seriously doubt it) and you marry him? You honestly think you will be able to trust him? Men who do what he is doing, usually do go looking for some "fresh meat" when they get bored with what they've got at home, so you can betcha, what goes around will come around.
If I come across pretty sour on this issue, I am. I'm currently helping a very good friend deal with her own shattered marriage due to the exact same thing. He wanted to kiss and make up, but she wisely told him to hit the road Jack.

Answer 6

One of the nicest things someone might call you is T.W.I.T. and of course you surely already know the worst or you wouldn't be here. You need an intensive lesson in "empathy". Get out of your shoes and step into his wife's...how does that feel?

Do you really enjoy hanging out with a man that is a liar and a cheat? A man with very little integrity that has no respect for himself. Is this man truly worthy of your attention? It does sound as though he has one redeeming quality and that is he has made no promises to you...is that a big enough hint?

He is a Mr. Havehis Cake Andeatitto man...run don't walk away and never look back. Get out there and make yourself available for the available man.

Answer 7

You are in love with a married man.....H e l l o? What were you thinking? If you have half a brain you will end the affair and end it now. It will lead to nothing but trouble. There are millions of single men out there. Go get your own single man. You will never feel good about yourself if you don't. How would you feel if you were married and some twit came along and tried to take your husband away? What goes around comes around.

Answer 8

take into consideration that right now you are in the "honeymoon" phase of things...and even you two are going to become familiar with each other as time goes by, and then suddenly, it's not so romantic and whirlwind anymore. most important, if he could do this to his wife, would he do this to YOU some where down the road?? he is using you for the hot sex, and you are using him for the deliriously romantic, movie set relationship. i don't see how it could last. i have a friend who's husband cheated on her, and after they got divorced, he bounced from one girl to the next for awhile. he finally confessed to his ex-wife (my friend), that he loved the initial butterflies in the stomach feeling when you first enter a relationship. but as that feeling faded, he craved it, had to get it, and was on to the next relationship. maybe you are the same way? YOU DESERVE MORE RESPECT.....

Answer 9

You may love this man but do you really think that he loves you too? His wife proably thinks that he loves her but he don't. How could you love someone and cheat on them and how can he love you when he goes home to someone else everynight. Plus if he did get divorced and wanted to have a relationship with you don't you think about him cheating on you? To me once a cheater always a cheater. I was married before and my ex cheated on me and got a girl pregnant. I knew he was cheating and he said that he wasn't and that he loved me. Well I divorced him and they are married now and guess what she just found out that he is cheating on her with a girl from work. I would quit messing with him. Think about his wife. How would you feel if you were married and your husband was cheating on you. Would you want that done to you? I would tell him to hit the road. Good luck

Answer 10

Sure, there is no problem continuing as long as you are professional about it.

Just keep in mind that he has a family and that will always take precedent. It seems nowadays people look down on this behavior, but I think that is mostly due to women who go crazy and try to break up families, or worse.