My grandad recently died, and so i'm helping to clear out alot of his things from my grans house. This morning though, my dad said he found my grans old diary that she wrote when I was little, and he said she wrote in many enteries 'Tom's (me) a lovely quiet lad, but I just wish he'd say Hi Gran, how are you, and hug me when he visits me'. This wasn't without her consent b.t.w, she let my dad see the diary. I can't help but feel like i've wasted so many years, and its really upset me, I just wana cry. Do you think its right I feel this way, and should I start to make more of an effort when around? Its just strange because I love her, and I always talk to her, so I just feel like I've let her down all these years, but I can't help it if i'm shy or quiet.
Thanks.
2006-12-17 00:22:28 · 9 answers · asked by <-tom-> 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You shouldn't be upset, actually you should be glad that you found out before it's too late. What if you had found that out after she died? Just go see her and give her a hug and tell her how much you love her and just tell her, You know grandma i'm kinda shy and it's hard for me to do things like that but it doesn't mean I don't love you. Or even better if you are too shy to do that, just write her a letter or buy her a card. Writing your feelings on paper sometimes is easier and she would know without a doubt that you really love her.
That would be a great Christmas present for her don't you think? Goodluck
2006-12-17 02:45:14 · answer #1 · answered by johanne 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Tom,
The entry that u mentioned must be an old one when u might not have interacted the way ur Grand Parents expected u to, and I hope u changed later for the better.
Any how it is quite natural that elder family members look out for more attention and they like to be hugged and cared for and showed more affection than others.
Anyhow what has happened has happened and nothing can be changed now, but since u have realised that u can take care for it for any other in future..........
Take care and dont feel down for it, instead take it positively and live a happy life........
2006-12-17 08:42:39 · answer #2 · answered by Vizz_up 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Luckily, from what you say, she's still alive so you've got a chance to make it up to her. And she knows you've read the diary, so it's not like you have to pretend. Go and put your arms round her, give her a big hug, and say something like, "Gran, you know I've always loved you, and I'm so sorry I haven't shown it more." She'll probably burst into tears, and maybe you will too, but it'll be a memory you'll always treasure.
And from now on - hug her lots!
2006-12-17 08:33:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tom- maybe Gran didn't know how to say so all those years, and this is her way of letting you know. Go up to her and say, why didn't you tell me earlier gran. You have many years left to make up for those lost hugs. Maybe with your grandad dying she realises she should have told you how much she would have liked a hug.
2006-12-17 08:45:23 · answer #4 · answered by AJ... Australia 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's not wasted! We are who we are, now that you are aware and know what she needs from you. You can try to open up more to loved ones around you. Live as if each day is the last, it will be easier to express emotion to those you care for most. Don't beat yourself up for things done and undone. Knowledge of things past is the secret.
2006-12-17 08:39:55 · answer #5 · answered by tamara.knsley@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you don't have to feel sorry about yourself, if i were your grandma i would have talked about this to your dad and so you know what to do, your grandma could have handled this better. afterall you actually love her and you may be a bit shy and did not express affection the way she wants. and i can tell you old people expect such kind of gesture more, like hugging or saying i love you, i don't know why but old people are like this. don't feel bad about it.
2006-12-17 08:35:00 · answer #6 · answered by FairGround 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This must be horrible for you :-(
to be honest, i think it just shows how much she loved you and cared for you, and as she watched you grow up, she probably realised that you hadn't meant anything by it and knew that you loved her just as much as she loved you
2006-12-17 08:25:44 · answer #7 · answered by nat 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Philip it is never to late to show her. She knows you love her so show her. You will not regret it and you will be glad you did. Good luck!
2006-12-17 08:39:47 · answer #8 · answered by d3midway semi-retired 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u shold be around and make an effort to spent time with her before she passess on .. and when that happens u will regret big time
2006-12-17 09:25:19 · answer #9 · answered by Ed 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋