Were people of the past unsocialized?

Question

Antihomeschoolers often make comments such as:

"The kids won't make any friends."

"They won't learn any social skills."

"The won't learn to deal with problem people."

"They won't learn how to work with others."

"They don't have enough contact with other people."

So, what, before mass schooling, people lacked these qualities?

Mike, you are giving isolated examples. What about all the other people around the blacks? Did they not socialize with each other without going to school for 35 hours a week ONLY with kids the same age?

Answer 1

Mike, did you know that another way that the black slaves were controlled, was that their owners took away their babies and had different parents raise them?

They also kept them illiterate and separated family members.

It wasn't that they didn't want to them to socialize. They socialized a LOT, particularly through religion. And that was fine.

As for the original question: It depends, are you talking about pre-industrialized communities?

I'm really curious what our kids, who are growing up with the internet and a totally new sense of "socializing" will say about us old fogeys when they are parents themselves. We're so backwards to think that people have to be right in the same room, day in and out in order to be able to get along with one another. That's "industrialized" speak. Punching in, punching out.

That is indeed one way to make friends, but it's not the only way, or even necessarily the best way. But the fact that most people in this country think that's the case, shows just how small our cultural vision is of what it is to make and have friends. And how hard it is for us to think outside of the box of what our limited life experiences are.

We're living in an age where we can know people all over the globe. At some point, it's going to become obvious that the friends we have in school are just a teeny tiny insignificant percentage of the world around us. And that the "diversity" we have in school is nothing compared to the diversity of the world. Even the diversity of meeting people around our community as homeschoolers is only a small fraction of the world's people.

So ultimately, it's not really a matter of how many different kinds of people we meet that determine our acceptance of the diversity in our world. It's the view we have of how important our POV is that will determine that. And if we think that there's only one way to do things, we'll have a hard time accepting diversity. If we accept that our way is only one of many ways to go about things, and we live that in our lives, than acceptance of diversity (even the diversity we've never met before) will be natural.

School is not the only way, it's not even the best way. Same with homeschooling or any other choice. There are lots of valid and great ways to do things. That's what all the socialization talk should be about, yet, it always ends up being a myopic vision of how one form is better than the other, or how people who do things differently than we do are somehow "not as good" or "backwards". Now, how darn ironic is that when we're talking about the commonly accepted meaning of "socialization"?

Answer 2

for the most part, YES!
One very effective way black people were kept as slaves was they were not allowed to socialize; people without social skills are easier to control through fear.
It is difficult to asses the thoughts, ideas, and aspirations of the 'normal' people of the past, many were illiterate
Those who left a written history were either from the upper crust or writing for a perceived audience, political or for religious leadership
It is rather obvious (to me, N/E way) that the reason the First Nation Peoples were marched off to reservations was to exclude them from socializing, so they could not effectively harass the Eurpoean settlers

My favorite account of a very normal person's experiences in the 19th century are the books of Laura Ingalls-Wilder. Though the technical accuracy can be disputed, Laura's desire for a larger social life is rather clear and one of the pioneers biggest challenges was maintaining a sense of community

Answer 3

I think socializing has become the buzz word for "normal". However, it is only during a child's younger years is it even considered normal for them to only interact with those who are within 12 months of their same age. As soon as they leave the school environment however, they are expected to interact with people up to the age of their own parents and even their grandparents.

In years past, children interacted with their parents, other generations of their own family which also lived in their house, other neighboring children, whether or not they were their own age, they had church contacts, etc. The difference was that they did not have a smorgasboard of people to pick and choose from. They had to make do and work out differences with the people that were available or be lonely. Which probably developed a higher order of social skills at a younger age as they learned to navigate the personalities of those they had contact with.

Answer 4

Now when you say "anti-home schoolers" do you mean kids who have been home schooled who had bad experiences in home schooling or are you talking about adults who hate home schooling?

I was home schooled and the stuff you've listed on what "anti-home schoolers" say I can relate to cause that's what I went through when I was home schooled. So does that make me a "anti-home schooler"?

In my experiences of being a home schooled child is that most home schoolers I knew did lack social skills and were very uneasy. But some home schoolers are very social and relaxed.

It depends on the person.

Answer 5

Just the opposite. Communties were cemented around common needs, concern for the infirm and elderly, church, volunteer fire departments, etc. Think of it this way - what would you do if you didn't have ipod, tv, PS2, batteries, MP3, PC, cell phone? All of those tech items actually serve to isolate you socially from those physically nearest to you. You would begin to seek out your friends, neighbors, people with common interests, relatives, etc. if you had no choice. Then you would begin to create your own fun, whatever form it might take.

Answer 6

Home schooling can add to some of the things you allude to, however if it is done properly and the children have other activities that create socializaton, ie community projects, organized sports, or just playing with friends in the neighbouthood many of the problems are taken care of.

Answer 7

people of the past, thinking way back to the prarie day, etc. still had church, and peven people dating back to Aztec civilation still played and hunted and grew up close to friends. I don't think they did lack these skills, becuase back then everyone lived closer together, with intertwining lives.