I am an over the road truck driver.I split my time up when I come off the road ( 2 days / month ) with different family members.This time I am off work at my father's house.I I am 33 yrs old . Yesterday out of courtasey @ 2p.m. I let my dad know I was out with a friend and that we had plans.So at 7p.m. he calls me right in front of my friends and asks when I was coming home , and if I'd be home at all.I was short w/ him and said it was only 7 p.m. and that I would be home , but I did'nt know when.This is the 3rd time he has done this to me while I was with my friends.It's so embarrassing.Also when I stay w/ him on home time - he thinks all dinners should be eaten together and he gets mad when I don't stay home.I took him out Friday night , and thought that I at least diserve a day/night w/ my friends.I respect his house and even clean it for him to show my gratitude for the nites I stay. I do any laundry that needs done , etc. even though I don't have to.What more does he want?
2006-12-16 21:41:35 · 12 answers · asked by andy 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
thanks for the response- I'm a woman
2006-12-16 21:44:58 · update #1
I don't live there I only get 2 days off a month if that , and see no point in paying rent somewhere that I'll never get to be at.
2006-12-16 21:46:33 · update #2
Did you have the courtesy to tell him when you were coming home. A social visit for most people is 2 to 4 hours. Then as I take it you said you "split your time", not "visit with". Maybe you should explain to your Dad that you are "at your fathers house" not "Visiting your Dad", as the latter is probably how he sees it. I'd imagine what he wants is to spend time with his son. He'd also want to know you are visiting him, not using him for a place to sleep while you hang with your friends. If you want to visit him do so, but dropping your bags and repeatedly (3rd time) leaving is disrespectful. Add a "friends" time in the rotation and stay there or in a motel etc...when you want to see them. Happiness comes from time shared together not from cleaning and laundry to pay for a room. Your not living at Dad's Barter Inn. Do you love him? Be an adult and show some respect. I'd say your Dad is missing you when your supposed to be visiting and not there. Enjoy your time with him, There will come a day you don't get any more.
I may be wrong too as I don't know your dad, but I don't have mine any more and this is how I feel when my son (26) does similar things to me.
2006-12-16 22:31:36 · answer #1 · answered by Bob L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is controlling. You are an adult once you turn 18. Tell him you are grown up and responsible. Geez, you are 33! Parents can be overbearing, overprotective, whatever you want to call it. My boyfriend's dad is the SAME way. (even with the dinner thing..lol) I tell him he needs to stand up for himself, but he said "it's my dad, I have to listen to him." BUT your dad also needs to respect you. You are grown. You also sound very grateful for being there, ie: you're helping out with chores. I would either tell him how it is and tell him it is embarassing to have a curfew at the age of 33...Or find a new place to stay for those few days.
2006-12-16 21:54:46 · answer #2 · answered by Noneyabusiness 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you are doing the right thing. My fahter in law does that to us and we are in our 40's. Its just that he wants time and you are his daughter. You are doing all the right respectable things.
Just deal with it and be patient. If I were your friend I woudl not think anything of it if your dad called except he loves you. Dont be embarrassed or dont answer the phone call next time knowing that is probably what he is calling about.
2006-12-16 21:56:31 · answer #3 · answered by SunValleyLife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your dad is lonely, he just needs company and someone to talk to. Why don't you start the ball rolling by asking him If he would like to go on a truck shift with you. If thats' not possible, tell him you love him.
2006-12-16 21:53:20 · answer #4 · answered by saynhope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is a damn shame that having a parent who wants to spend time with you. My parents passed away in 1999. The fool I am I would love to have one more day with them.
2006-12-16 21:47:55 · answer #5 · answered by Wat Da Hell 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you just need to sit down and tell him how you feel. i don't think he wants to embarrass you -- he probably doesn't realize he's doing it. it takes time for parents to see their children as adults and for you to earn credibility in that adult relationship. just remember, you don't want to take your dad for granted -- you never know how much time you have. i'm grateful for the time i spent with my dad before he passed away.
2006-12-16 21:50:31 · answer #6 · answered by jlgran 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he wants time with you. You're a lucky man--ask those who's fathers don't want anything to do with them.
2006-12-16 21:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by Hillaryforpresident 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are abusing the relationship...You work, and that is good, but
you 'use off of' other family members when you are not working.
Get your own place, buy your own food, and quit using your family.
2006-12-16 22:32:19 · answer #8 · answered by hls 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
take a seat with him and communicate with him approximately it and tell him he basically needs to pass out and get a job basically so he wont "kill" himself with debt and notice in case you are able to help yet whilst he doesnt even attempt basically tell him youre ill of it and leave (in case you havent already) and tell him to call you whilst hes waiting to purpose something (basically my opinion)
2016-10-05 10:14:43 · answer #9 · answered by murchison 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
since you are 33 maybe you should get your own place and move out.
2006-12-16 21:44:52 · answer #10 · answered by anonbealove 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋