how do you improve self esteem?

Question

i lack any sort of self confidence, am constantly putting myself down, and quite simply feel useless. I have no ambition in my life, and do not see any of my successes as such. i am 21, have never had a gf, and hate the way i look. im overweight, have a hairy back, chest, shoulders and neck, covered in obvious freckles, short, pale. my lack of confidence may also be the reason why i have never had a gf, and it has made me ask what is wrong with me virtually daily. i get the feeling that my mates actually laugh at me more than with me, and my presence is simply for their amusement as opposed to me being there for my personality. i used to believe i was pretty normal, however now i feel like im just this weird guy, but i dont really know what is wrong with me. i have lost all desire of going out as i simply no longer enjoy myself. any ideas on how to feel better about yourself?
- i have been progressively feeling worse since my father passed away in 2004

Answer 1

You can track down "love share" and beat the everliving @hit out of him... then most of the peoplehere on answers would hail you as a hero or worship you liek a God.... At the very least we'd thank you for setting that POS straight

Answer 2

First of all you need to change the way you are thinking about yourself. You need to look at the good in yourself, instead of always looking or thinking about the bad things about you. Heck they may not even be bad, you may just think that they are bad. You need to change that neg thinking, by replaceing it with a postive thought. It may be hard at first, but it really works. Don't think that it is going to work in one day, or even in a week or month. It may take longer, since you have been putting yourself down for as long as you have. You need to say things positive, like . So what i am hairy , a lot of guys are, and they are doing great, and getting girlfriends. You need to replace every neg. though you have with a positive one about yourself. Think about what you are good in. Think of the good and positive things you have done in your life. Think about the positive things about yourself. If this don't work you can go to a professional, and seek some help there too, let them help you find out why you don.t like or love yourself. Once you get through then you might find that you can like yourself, and even love your self then you can start to care for others, Maybe your father passing away had something to do with your self-esteem. Maybe you need to talk to someone about that too. If you did not grief he's death, then that could be an issue and it could also affect your self-esteem. May be you had to be the stong one to hold the family together during that time, as i had to be when my father died at a very young age, and me and my younger sister was still quit young, and every one seem to lose it, but i could not, i had to stand strong, even though i was the one with the low self-esteem , i was the one to hold the family together, while everyone else was able to cry and go crazy. Maybe that there, stop your self-esteem from getting better, maybe you still need to greif your fathers death, maybe it is an issue, that you don;t even relize that you have. That is an important thing. I am telling you that you can get your self-esteem up, way up and you can do anything that you want. you will have girlfriends and that. So please don't give up, there is hope there, and light at the tunnel, and you can do it. just keep putting can, instead of can't and you will see your self in a much different light, you will like yourself then you will love yourself, then after that you will start caring for others and it will be the real thing.

Answer 3

Hey
Firstly..im really sorry to hear about you father.
I always suffer from self confidence..and it really is the worse feeling there is. Putting yourself down is not good for your health.
Whenever i feel like this i pray, and i ask God to help me get through the day, I ask him to give me the confidence i need, and it helps me..i feel such a relief.
You should try it for yourself.
There is nothing at all wrong with you, you are special and beautiful in your own way, everyone is different.
God made you the way you are for a reason, and when you feel down pray to him and ask for his support, and you can trust me when i say that he will be there for you.
Hope everything goes well, hope you have a smile on your face! God Bless you ! =]

Answer 4

have you had any counseling?

trust me looks are not the end-all be-all
girls are much more attracted by what's inside the package
attitude
yep
I myself like guys that most consider homely

In my opinion 2nd to counseling
if you could get involved in a group
some sort of volunteer your time for those more needy than yourself

the people/women you meet in these type endeavors
are gonna be the ones that are 'keepers'
you want a relationship, right?

Find something you are interested in
pets
homeless folk
art, music
electronics
then find a group that helps others in one of these fields

Extend yourself
help others
and you will reap far more benefits than a quick girlfriend IMO

oh and the hair
many of us women find all differences between the sexes to be sexy
more hair to some equals more masculinity

hope you take this input as intended
go outside your own world
and help others
your self-image problems will seem like so much dust motes in the sunshine

or something like that

Answer 5

The weight problem: take vitamins, eat smaller portions at meal time and excerise. The hairy thing: either shave or wax. The freckles, and being short: deal with it. They won't go away. (I'm short too.) The pale thing: wear colors that fit your skin pigment. Pale people tend to look better in pastell colors.(I'm also pale skined) I hope this helps your confidence. Its not about the looks, its about whats inside that counts. The girl thing: Maybe your shy. I can't help you there. I have men problems. Whatever you do, DON'T USE ALCOHOL OR DRUGS. THEIR ADDICTIVE AND NOT ATTRACTIVE!!!

Answer 6

Yes keep asking and answering. You must be in a safe place then start to worry about others like why did they do that and what did they really mean. Until you can identify types of people around you you can react properly to them. Some are winner-players others are loners like yourself. Stay with your own people.

Answer 7

Download Double Your Dating By David Deangelo. I'm not advertising his work, but rather than have me ramble on about confidence and esteem i thought i'd suggest his book that does it for me. He will help you get a gf. Good luck man, hope u are prosperous in life!

Answer 8

Well I doubt you got where you are in life by feeling bad for yourself. It's obvious that all of us have shortcomings regardless of who we are. I feel if you're uncomfortable where you are in life, you have the ability to do something about it and not spend time pondering why things have to be so bad for you. I think you need to start with realizing you have self worth and continue on from there.

Answer 9

certainly attempt to no longer take a seat on yahoo questions asking and answering, that's demanding seeing how many retarded people there are interior the international. yet certainly.. attempt make your self sense extra powerful. attempt make your self seem extra powerful, sense extra powerful, ask somebody you like out, pass out with acquaintances. and so on

Answer 10

keep asking (and answering)