While I was in college I met a wonderful man. He's 20 years older than myself. At the time I was in a long-term relationship (and still am), so I never went past the casual conversation on the street. He took over my thoughts, everything. My boyfriend eventually realized what was going on, and so I stopped talking to him (the other man) altogether. I could tell that he felt something for me as well but he didn't know what to do as I. I graduated from college and left the state, but never said goodbye or anything at all to him. I know I shouldn't be with this current boyfriend, but I feel trapped. We've been together for 4 years now, but he depends so much on me for everything. Anyway, my question is should I attempt to contact this person whom I haven't seen or spoken to in 3 months? Or should I let it be? I still can't stop thinking about him and the ever constant "what if?" is haunting me.
2006-12-16 20:11:42 · 8 answers · asked by neilmakesmeatree 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The first thing you should do is if you're not happy with your current boyfriend is make a clean cut,and walk away from that relationship. Then wait a few months I suggest at leats 6,and then contact the other guy,and see where it goes.
2006-12-16 20:16:42 · answer #1 · answered by Carl The Green's Keeper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The real problem you have is that you are in a relationship that you don't want to be in. If you are not happy in the current relationship, you should not let it drag on because you feel bad for your boyfriend. Thats not going to do either of you any good. I was in a similar situation a few years ago, where I dated a girl all through college and after college as well. Five years total. It lasted about a year longer than it should have because I didn't have the balls to break her heart. It was not easy, but I couldn't let it drag on any more. My heart just wasn't in it any more and it sounds like yours isn't either. Once I did it I realized soon after that it was the right decision.
That being said, once you are out of the relationship, I would attempt to contact that person if I were you. Whats the worst that can happen? I find I regret things much more in my life that I haven't done, as opposed to things I have. Hope this helps. Good Luck!
2006-12-17 04:32:15 · answer #2 · answered by Bronko 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the older guy be. Just because you both felt something, doesn't mean acting on it is a good idea. The wishful thinking fantasy scenarios you daydreamed up were probably better than the reality would be. And you've already gone through them all. Now move on.
You must dump the current guy. The only reason you're still obsessing about this impossible never-was who's probably forgotten about you by now is that the guy you're with sucks so much. If you don't break up with him now, you'll end up married to him- wondering why you did such a foolish thing.
Get over your fear of being alone, and just be alone for a while, and sooner or later you will find a completely new guy who's interesting enough you don't need to cry over spilt milk or covet the grass on the other side of the fence.
2006-12-17 04:24:12 · answer #3 · answered by randomstupidhandle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should try to contact him. If he felt the same way about you then, he may be thinking the same things now, and he'll be happy to hear from you. If he didn't feel the same or he's found someone else, then you'll find out for sure and your curiosity will be put to rest.
Either way, though, it sounds like you're unhappy with the man you have. It's probably time to get rid of him, strike out on your own, and find someone you feel is worth your time--whether it be this guy you're thinking about all the time, or someone else. If you're not happy where you are, you're wasting your time, and even though it's hard to leave, it will be what's best for you.
I wish you luck.
2006-12-17 04:19:40 · answer #4 · answered by fairygothmommy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have a crush on this older guy, and are looking to use it as an excuse to end your current relationship. How do you know the older guy has the same feelings for you? Maybe you should just be honest with your partner and end the relationship, but don't go looking for love when its not there.
2006-12-17 04:18:08 · answer #5 · answered by michelle s 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its haunting u because u probably r in luv.Something developed that is very rare between u 2 , does he feel the same? U need to find out ,go see him .Tell him how u feel . U never know he might luv u 2!If its not luv then it could b that special something to develope into something unique.
2006-12-17 04:22:57 · answer #6 · answered by lilly l 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you didn;t do anything the whole time you were at college, while u had the chance, boyfriend or no boyfriend.... just leave it be.... and if ya not happy with your boyfriend after 4 years together why are you still with him then?
2006-12-17 04:16:32 · answer #7 · answered by Tezza 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.Have the guts to leave boyfriend A.first.
2.Then,and only then,contact guy you wish you knew(if he is single.)
3.Don't cheat.Your bf may not need you as much as you think he does.Move on...and let him do the same.
2006-12-17 04:17:09 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋