I have great in-laws, but they recently decided to ask their friends (a couple) if they want to travel with them and stay here with us here in Boca Raton (FL). Even though I know they would understand if we said NO, isn't it really a big assumption to tell their friends they could stay with us before asking us if we were OK with it? Plus, it makes US look bad if we said no. We like their friends, but still--we are not running a Holiday Inn here. Are we just being anti-social, or are we right? Please share your thoughts. Thank you!
2006-12-16 19:42:48 · 8 answers · asked by SoCalAgency 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
That was pretty assumptive of them to do that without talking to you first. Are you sure they didn't talk with your spouse about it? Check with your spouse first.
If it were me, in your shoes, I would probably start making dinner plans and sleeping arraignments now in order to avoid any hurt feelings later. Convince yourself that this is only temporary and it will be fun!
Good luck
2006-12-16 19:59:12 · answer #1 · answered by Adrienne C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your inlaws should have definitly asked you and your husband. I would throw in a comment about them coming though. I don't know what you would say. Maybe say did you mention something about so and so coming with you?? Then say ohh I wasn't expecting extras and my spare bedroom is being used as storage. Then you can say well I'm sure we can find some time to clean it out. Let her know that she shouldn't have assumed her guest could come without asking/
t
2006-12-20 06:56:43 · answer #2 · answered by BabyDolll128 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HI Eric...
u say u have great in-laws....i guess u have a strong bond with them
....and I'm sure as well they too have the same bond with you....so may be without asking you, they assumed that you guys will be able to let their friends stay in........
in my opinion.....i advise u to accept them with open arms and try your best and please them....as they are your in-laws.....n they should not feel that they have given their daughter to a wrong man......
but b4 u assume things....i didn't say that you have to go along with whatever they come up with....u have feelings too....you also may suffer from financial problem...or u may also need some privacy with your spouse...soo... i advise you to have a conversation with them....tell them your feelings.....how you think about your in-laws...how much u appreciate them....and how you want them to understand you....and how they want them to understand them as well....open up n tell out what you are feeling....
if you don't open up...you may end up hating them and someday you may burst....soo its better for you to tell them how you feel about them calling their friends over your place....
i hope that my advise may help you in some way or another to make your relationship with your in-laws in understanding you n you understanding them.....
t.c n all the best on your conversation with them....
2006-12-16 21:24:19 · answer #3 · answered by Josh 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
perchance contained in the activity of kin cohesion, you may enable your husband handle this one. it is his mom and if he tells her, she may get disenchanted, yet received't stay disenchanted. in spite of the undeniable fact that, in case you tell her then you actually develop into the undesirable daughter-in-regulation continuously. communicate inclusive of your husband and clarify to him that you opt for to percentage this time with the instantaneous kin by myself. And that in case you squish a large number of human beings on your small house, you'll not in any respect completely be able to relax. what type of holiday may that be besides? continuously communicate, in case you do not, you isn't heard. Husbands (and different halves) can't examine minds. Have a effective holiday.
2016-11-26 23:53:36 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is wrong on their part to invite someone without your consent, but as they have already invited them, saying NO would be impolite. But make sure they dont repeat it again however good your relations are.
2006-12-16 19:58:00 · answer #5 · answered by ANU U 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not unless they asked you first, and you agreed. If they do not follow that common curtesy, then set them straight. You have the right to determine who stays in your house.
2006-12-16 22:11:50 · answer #6 · answered by mackjcsf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No by all means. in-laws shouldn't do that, they should know where its at. Its called respect.
2006-12-16 20:42:31 · answer #7 · answered by saynhope 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
na,,, if you're not happy with it, don't. It's your house anyway.
2006-12-16 20:14:43 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋