My MIL is a very stubborn and passive-aggressive person...she makes it SEEM like she's being sweet, only to disguise the fact that she's just said/done something rude.
My husband and I have a 10 month old daughter who looks JUST like my husb. (she has his coloring, features, etc), my husb. and I have different looks. My husb. has a 14 year old daughter from a prev. relationship (we get along great,btw), but who looks NOTHING like him (there's actually a very good chance that she's not even his, but we don't care about that, we love her as our own).
Every time I see my MIL she has to say how SHE thinks our daughter looks NOTHING like my husb., but how my SD looks JUST like him. I find this ABSURD...and the more she does it, the crazier I feel! EVERYONE else says that our baby looks like my husb. I think my MIL is just scared that my SD isn't my husb.'s, but she won't admit it.
When she says rude things, should I call her on it right there, or should I just ignore it and move on?
2006-12-16 18:30:06 · 10 answers · asked by Megan V 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I just want to say THANKS to everyone who answered so far! It helped me even a little to just get it off my chest!
I've told my husb., but he thinks I should just ignore her like he does. He said that he will DEFINITELY put her in her place if she ever says anything TO him like that, but I know she wouldn't dare say anything like that to him because she knows him and what he'd say. My personality is to be honest and just tell people what I think straight up, so I WANT to say something every time she does this, but I stop myself because I don't want to make a big deal, for fear that it might hurt my SD and even my daughter, if they hear me argue with her about it. I don't want to hurt my SD's feelings and have her feel left out b/c she doesn't look like her dad...but then again, I'm worried that my own daughter will start to think that my MIL doesn't like her or something, or is trying to disown her.
But thanks anyway! Everyone is helping so much!
2006-12-16 18:56:04 · update #1
Ignore the monster inlaw- she has issues and you can't fix them and it is not your fault- be glad she does not live w you- don't take her absurdity personally -- she may be speaking her wishful thinking out loud- take the high road and don;t stoop down to her levelof rudeness- and Merry Christmas `anyway!!D
2006-12-16 18:52:00 · answer #1 · answered by Debby B 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My parent's had the same problem and actually for 9/10 of my life i didn't know anyone from my dad's half of the family just my grandma and grandpa (which i have only seen like 9 time's and she lives close 2!) but my grandmother was always making these weird comment's about my mom that i never really got when i was smaller talk to you husband i wont guarantee it will work because your husband has known her all his life and it will be difficult for him to understand it will take some time and it might even take proof your husband will still love you it will be hard for him to get a clue but understand it's HIS mother and please don't let it be a excuse not to see that side of the family try solving it without it taking to much effect on your child's life
2006-12-16 18:43:22 · answer #2 · answered by Anime Geek!! 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
did you tell your husband what was going on with you and her? Maybe you can tell him if you don't want to confront her. You can ask your husband to put in a good word for you and make your husband talk to her about it. Otherwise, you can tell her nicely over the phone or lunch or something, if it's that important to you. You could also tell her then and there. It's actually just a difference of opinion, and my dad said that just because there is a difference of opinon, doesn't mean that you have to go crazy about what they think of you or your daughter. Those are your choices, you can do something about it, or move along and "pretend" to not hear it. Be the bigger, better and hopefully more mature person.?
2006-12-16 18:35:25 · answer #3 · answered by Suzy Suzee Sue 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My family is very much the same.
Your husband must take charge of the situation. This is not 2 b sexist but he is blood and needs to show that his wife is now his nuclear family and that he has chosen 2 b with u. No bond, even the mother, should b as strong as the bond of husband and wife.
The children are suffering in this situation as well. Do what u know to b right and the child will respect those who deserve to be respected.
2006-12-16 18:34:51 · answer #4 · answered by me 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
In-legislation continually comes among the wedding existence..specialy the mummy,it is difficult typically to get at the side of the in-legislation however whilst you get in via every weak point there might be concord. Why do not you speak it along with your husband and ordinarily speak along with your better half's mother that you've got revered her as the mummy in your husband and due to the fact that her your mom too. Have a center to center speak together with her. Sometimes mom-in-legislation been jealous specialy in case your husband is the one son/youngster. Take attention too that it regularly been the best way of the in-legislation and now not simply the mummy. Try to win her affection, she maybe desiring your affection/concentration finally a few olds want that to think their manner. In that case you might also be extra towards her than her son. Good good fortune.
2016-09-03 15:10:30 · answer #5 · answered by gombos 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My monster in law has been known to say hurtful things, too. Usually they are directed at my husband. Nothing he does is ever good enough. It makes me very angry because he is a wonderful man and is always bending over backwards to please her and get her approval. Sometimes I think she doesn't want him to succeed because it makes her feel like a failure.
Over the years I have learned to love her anyway. She can't help it; it's just the way she is. The bast tack is to ignore what is said and move on. Getting angry is just going to cause more bad blood.
2006-12-16 18:35:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore it and move on.....be the better person and shut up about it....but don't let it build up or you'll blow up and give your MIL a heart attack (bad joke just trying to put some humor in)
2006-12-16 18:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by gmnastcsrocks 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ignore it. She's entitled to her blind as a bat opinion. Just keep loving your SD and Smile at your "blessed" MIL and remember ' opinions are like buttholes...everyone has one and they ussually stink" ( hers stinks.) LOL ;-D
2006-12-16 18:45:49 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs Lizzard 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go. Sounds like she is trying to pick a fight to me. After all the only opinions that really matters are yours and your husbands.
2006-12-16 18:38:10 · answer #9 · answered by Tauna H 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
tell her to go to FLORIDA and die there!!! that's where she should do!! and leave your life alone, because you are not her child and never will be..about her son.... he is a old men and he can take care very well of himself/children/wife.
2006-12-16 18:36:57 · answer #10 · answered by nina 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋