I was dating this guy last summer. He is 4 1/2 yrs yngr than me so he's kind of on the immature side. We fought all the time and he is not good at showing emotion. At the end of Sept I was transferred 1300 miles away for my job. We decided it was best to break up. After a few weeks I realized I really hated my change of scenery and wanted to go back home. I started planning to move back when the guy called me telling me he loved me and that he didn't want to be without me. I told him I was wanting to move back anyway and he offered to have me move in with him so we could be together. For the next month and a half we spoke on the phone three times a day and did not have one fight. The day I moved back I flew him down so he could drive back home with me. The first night was great, we were so happy to be together again but since then (two weeks ago) it's been downhill from there. I'm so depressed and I want to make things work but I don't know what to do.
2006-12-16 18:29:02 · 6 answers · asked by Jen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He doesn't show that he cares about me at all. He doesn't kiss me good bye when he goes to work, he NEVER touches me whether it be sexually or not, he doesn't talk to me if he's upset. He doesn't hear me when I talk to him, he always thinks I want to pick a fight with him. A part of me is no longer happy with him and wants to break it off BUT I just started a new job so I have no money to move out and it's hard to find a roommate because I have a dog. I feel like I've dug myself into a hole and forgot to make a ladder first.
2006-12-16 19:02:45 · update #1
We're also very opposite from each other. I'm a very glass is half full type of person. When things are rough I get excited about things being better in the future. He gets upset with me sometimes because I look at the bright side so much.
2006-12-16 19:03:57 · update #2
Okay, I have to edit this comment based upon the "additional details" you have added to your question.
Its not at all clear to me that he is into you now, but that doesn't mean he isn't. A lot of guys have a lot of trouble showing their emotions. From what you've written now, it sounds like he wants the company, but not necessarily the relationship. Obviously, you don't like being used as a punching bag for his verbal assaults though.
So the question is what to do about it all....if he is still interested in you, he has to either learn to talk more or listen better. Using you as "something to pick fights with" is not good for you. My guess is that he has some kind of superiority complex, and you're current financial dependance on him is not going to help you out at all with that.
I really hate to tell you to "stay put and things will all work out", especially since I'm not at all convinced that is the best choice, but I really don't see a better one at this point to offer you. I hope somebody is a little wiser than I am here. :-(
My original response is below:
As a guy, it sounds to me like he's really into you, and your not so sure you're into him. If one or both people isn't ready or willing to make a "committed" relationship work, its not going to work.
You haven't really explained WHY its gone downhill the past two weeks. You mentioned that he is not good at showing his emotions. If that still hasn't changed since you moved 1300 miles away and came back, and that is a real important piece of a relationship to you, then even if you really like the guy, and even if he claims he really likes you, it might not be a good fit for you to continue to be together, especially since the emotional stuff seems to be really important to you. There are guys out there for which that stuff is really important and for which they are very good at talking about and dealing with that stuff. (I like to think of myself as one such guy as people are always coming to me for advice about this kind of stuff.) There are a lot of guys who aren't like that though.
I wish you luck in finding the right kind of guy for you, but I'm afraid this is not the one. :-( I'm hoping you can come to realize that, part amicably, and continue your search for Mr. Right. He is out there, I'm sure.
2006-12-16 18:41:53 · answer #1 · answered by G A 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
couples counseling
obviously he was worth it to at least try to get the relationship going
you gave up a lot to break up with him in the first place
you gave up even more when you came back to him
this time you need a professional who could either help you 2 make it work or help you break it off
Hopefully you 2 can work it out
2006-12-16 18:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by bolounit1 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it quite is a few guy drama. properly, i think of u could desire to consult with him, and ur acceptable that's unlike if ur gonna come back with him. basically enable him tell u what he desires to tell u, and ask him what u could desire to invite him. and if ur quite over him, than u could be acquaintances, yet no longer too close reason he could desire to have undesirable intensions with u, by utilising making u fall for him back, and that i do no longer think of u prefer to adventure that discomfort back.by utilising being acquaintances and not taking him heavily, could definetly get to him, that he could desire to pass on besides, and settle for that what he did to u replaced into incorrect and u did no longer deserve it. If he asks u to furnish him a 2d possibility, and u think of he could desire to have a 2d one, then enable him wait, if he gets a girl before ur answer than he's a participant hun. do exactly no longer tension over him, he's no longer well worth it after waht he did. there is many different adult adult males interior the international who will relatively love u and b trustworthy to u. basically tell him to pass on and attempt relationship different females, if it does not paintings, and u nonetheless have emotions for him, then supply him a 2d possibility, yet enable or no longer that's the final one too, reason ur no longer a puppet that he can play around with back and forth.desire i helped!
2016-10-05 10:10:19 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
think about why you liked him in the first place, why you broke up with him, why you got back together, and why you're fighting now. If you find that your reasons for staying with him aren't worth your unhappiness and you can't work it out, get out of the relationship, and don't look back. Good luck!!
2006-12-16 18:43:33 · answer #4 · answered by High On Life 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well try to kink things up maybe some crouchless pantys of just simple leather and a whip it should work wonders
2006-12-16 18:32:41 · answer #5 · answered by bored in the box 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
give it time to adjust.
2006-12-16 18:34:29 · answer #6 · answered by amanda 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋