how do i pick up a bartender?

Question

there's a bartender at a pub i've been going to for the last few weeks & we seem to get along pretty well. i usually get to talk to her a lot because i go in the daytime before i have to go to work & it's pretty quiet. so we talk a bunch, she's bought me drinks, called me sweetie, babe, etc etc. i asked her if she wanted to do something next week & she said she might be going snowboarding but i think she probably really IS going snowboarding for a few days based on what she's done/said up to now. i don't know what to do next though. how do i pick her up?

Answer 1

Bartenders are paid to be friendly to the customers. This is ESPECIALLY true of female bartenders, who are expected to flirt with male customers. Generally, bar owners hire women who are very friendly, flirtatious and outgoing (and also unusually pretty] for these jobs, because of this job requirement. And many of these women come to genuinely like their customers - in particular the 'regulars' guys like you who come in every day.

This bartender probably genuninly thinks you are a nice guy, and she probably really enjoys talking to you.

It's quiet during the day shift in most bars, and she's probably real bored (a lot of bartenders like being really busy making drinks for lots of customers, and they hate standing there with nothing to do but fold their arms and look out across the bar) so you coming in livens up her day and makes the hours go by faster.

You're probably also a really nice guy, you don't get sloppy drunk (cause you're going to work afterwards) and you probably respect her profession by tipping her well.

That's why she buys you drinks, and calls you sweetie, babe and other pet names.

But do NOT think that her genuine and sincere customer-bartender relationship with you will automatically translate into her being willing to date you!

Since she's friendly and probably very attractive, she probably already has a boyfriend, or maybe even a husband

Have you asked her if she's single? Some female bartenders will straight up tell you if they have a man, just to avoid leading you on and hurting your feelings!

She might even be dating the owner of the bar, or a manager, or one of her co workers.

Some bars do not let their female bartenders tell the customers if they are not available (some places don't even let the married bartenders wear their wedding rings to work - just so they can maintain the "illusion of availability")

If she doesn't tell you, you might pick up some hints (for instance if she has a male "friend" who she talks about who has a lot of influence on her life - for instance, if she didn't used to like snowboarding until her male "friend" introduced her to it, that male "friend" is probably her man!)

Beyond that there are female bartenders who don't date customers as a rule, even if they are single (some bartenders draw a mental line between themselves and their customers - she might be one of those bartenders!)

Bottom line, it's very hard for a customer to date a bartender - it has happened, there are marriages that have begun between a female bartender and a male customer.

But it's unlikely.

What's more common is you get a crush on a bartender, she tries to gently turn you down while desperately trying to keep a cordial customer-bartender relationship, and in the end she might have to hurt your feelings - which is bad for both of you - she loses a nice, friendly regular who tips well, and you lose your friendly bartender who flirts with you and gives you free drinks.

She was probaly giving you a hint with the snowboarding thing - she probably really is going snowboarding (with her boyfriend) and she didn't want to hurt your feelings by telling you she's got a man so she's trying to let you down easy!

Remember, most bartenders are genuinely nice and friendly people, so most of them sincerely don't want to lead you on, but it happens A LOT.

A lot of male regulars get crushes on bartenders (I know I have) and a lot of female bartenders are faced with the awkward task of dealing with your crush on them, and gently turning down your offers to date them, while still trying to keep you as a customer

So you might want to think seriously about this before trying to persue this bartender!

Answer 2

The best way to pick her up is to walk behind the counter and lift her up from the waist and kindly say to her: "I am picking you up".

"she's bought me drinks, called me sweetie, babe, etc etc. "

She is just being nice to you. You are a nice customer. She says these things to alot of her customers. You are a regular and this is what the two of you have in common, she gets paid to pour you a drink and have conversation with you.

I know you like this woman and the attraction is there. But please wake up, it's a business relationship that exist between the two of you. And even if you do get a chance with her, will you be able to handle your woman working at the bar? Other men are going to try and pick up on her day in and day out?

Let her go snowboarding, just be friends and nothing more.

Answer 3

Firstly, do not attempt to pick her up while she is working or at the pub. She gets hit on and asked out alot at work and women don't like that. If she mentioned she hangs out anywhere, 'randomly' end up there sometime and you'll bump into her, which would be a great opportunity to show your interest and ask her to dinner or for a cocktail somewhere. Be cautious though, No more Mr. Nice guy is right, she is paid to be nice to you like that, it attracts you and get you to buy more drinks, as well as gets her tips.

Answer 4

This is hard to answer because of the environment your in. I am sure she gets guys hitting on her almost 24/7 because of the type of job it is. I honestly would just order a drink from her small talk a little see if she gets into the conversation or just kinda makes the sale and moves on. If leans towards the bar and talks back with then I would ask her for dinner nothing to risky.

Answer 5

join her on snowboarding....