When an older boy constantly picks on your younger son, is it appropriate to confront the bully?

Question

Other parents see nothing wrong.

Answer 1

i do`nt think it would hurt to talk to the bully as long as you are very careful in what you say.it`s probably better to talk to the child's parents first out of respect.you need to get your child into martial arts.martial arts helps improve,concentration,health,and self worth .many times a bully can be stopped by being humiliated in front of others.martial arts can give your child the ability to do just that without fighting.your child's school grades will improve also.

Answer 2

Im actually having the same problem with some bully that lives in the same apt complex as I with my 7 year old son. Ive confronted him once and his father confronted him twice. Lets just say that didnt work. I went out again today to talk to him, but all he did was run away from me. Last time i made him cry, good tactic.....NOT.....trying to make me feel bad for him. He harrasses the other kids around here also. Im finding a resolution with the landlord and if i have to, video tape him with my digi cam and call the cops.

Ill keep trying to confront the bully, if he doesnt run away from me, until it stops. I cant help it if his parents arent even outside or even care wtf he is doing, so Im going to care and make this stop.

Answer 3

If your child is in grade school, I would recommend talking to the parent, and if that doesn't work, I would talk to the school. Then, if that doesn't work I would go to the school board or to the police. If your child is in j. high or older I would go straight to the school and then on up. B/c if they are in j. high or older, chances are the parents aren't going to do anything. But definitely do not confront the child b/c you will just end up looking like the bully. And probably will end up in trouble instead.

Answer 4

This is a really good question and I too am having the same problem. My son is in 1st grade and last year had NO problems. No problems at the beginning of this school year either. And then some new kid comes to the school and all hell breaks loose for my son. I'm about ready to go knock some heads together. Hubby is threatening to ride the bus for a couple days and give him a good stare down the entire ride.

What's sad is my son is in 1st grade and this new kid is in 8th. I'd love to catch that boy alone and give him a good beating.

Answer 5

Bullies are children who have low self esteem and need someone to take the time to model good behaviors. Yeah, ask the parents if you can confront him.......take him to a ball game, play basketball with him. Get to know him. Once he likes you and your son he will stop bullying and you can build his self esteem so that others won't get bullied either. and the boy will begin to enjoy his life.
You can have charges pressed against you if you confront a minor. Grab him by his collar and I guarantee there will be reprucusions.

Answer 6

Depends on the age gap.
If it's just words, teach him to have a thicker skin and not be such a cry-baby as this only provokes more bullying and greater social derision even among his friends and peers. As a parent you must learn to not cosset or molly-coddle your male child.
You getting involved will make his life rather unbearable as he will be seen as a Mummies-boy rather than a confident person able to stand up for themselves.
As much as one hates the idea of their child suffering from bullying- it is a part of life we must pass through in order to gain greater strength. The world is nowhere near as cossetted as a schoolyard and protecting him from it will not help him in the long-run.
I recommend teaching your child to stick up to bullies himself and teaching him how to fight. Too many nancy social critics try and impose female responses and effeminate measures for male situations. They also believe that teaching a child to fight back is wrong.
My view as a male with two male siblings and an early life of bullying and a son of my own- it makes a massive difference to the male ego and self-respect etc to physically repel an assaulting bully.
Teach your boy to fight back, even if he gets a bloodied-nose- he will get some measure of respect from the other boy.
If the school and the bullies parents don't like it- stiff shytt- it's your boy and he has every right to defend himself.

Answer 7

My son had a "friend" (older boy, about 2 years older) who I noticed would pick on my son when they went out to play by themselves. My son started coming home with dirty hand prints on the back of his shirts. The others kids close somehow never got dirty, although he never got all the mud off them before coming to my house to wash them ether.
The first time it happen, I told my son not to ever let that kid put his hands on him again, my son said ok. The second time it happen (my son hit him for it and the kid hit him back) I went and talked to the kids parents, they claimed the boys were just playing, I said fine I don't want them playing together any more then. About a week latter the kid showed up at my door crying about how he didn't have anyone else to play with and if my son could play. I felt bad for him so I asked my son and he was more then happy to play with him again. Everything went fine for a few weeks, then what do you know my kid came home with dirty hand prints on the back of his shirt again. So I got the kid by his shirt and told him," you and my son are never to even speak again and if you ever show up at my door again I will go out get a bucket of muddy water and throw it all over you." The kid hasn't been to my door for months, and still has no friends. I feel bad about that I'm sure.

so I say YES!!!.

Answer 8

I would invite the bully over and get to know him - offer him cookies and milk, play a board or card game or two, and sit at the kitchen table for a chat. My son would be right there too with us.

Why? you ask. You crazy fool! you exclaim.

Why? Because a bully is really a scared, insecure kid inside. He has to bully smaller kids so he feels cool and strong and is impressive-looking. Treating him like a real person, like I would a friend, takes away his bullying power and validates him.

It works. I've tried it (but judiciously so).

Answer 9

confront the bullies parents,remind them of all the tradings of being a bully or getting bullied.

Answer 10

I had a problem for 2 years with my son being bullied, he is big for his age, buddy holly glasses and red hair. He would come home from school dirty ripped clothes footprints on his shirt and chocolate milk poured on him. He went to a private school too, this had been going on since he was in kindergarten with the same kid untilo 2nd grade. I went to the school and tried to resolve it that way. It did not work so I told my son next time he touches you hit him back, well my son did and he got into trouble, I went back to the school, told them that if my son has one hair out of place as a result of this boy I am going straight to the police and filing battery charges. the other mom came in and complained that I was threatening them. I told her it was not a threat but a promise. well her son did it again, I saw the kid outside I went up to him and told him that if I find out he touches my son I personally will do the same thing to him his comment to me was you will go to jail, I looked him dead in the eyes and said sweety you are a $50 fine and 2 weekends in jail so go ahead and see what happens. of course he went home and told his mother. I told her the same thing either she teaches her kid some manners or maybe they both need it. Now I do not condone violence but sometimes as a parent you have to do what it takes to protect your kids. We had tried to go about it the right way, but sometimes it can't be resolved that way. My son was in therapy and literally would make himself sick before going to school, I now homeschool 3 of the 4 of my kids.