Thoughts on a 13-year-old playing M-rated video games?

Question

My son is on a campaign for permission to play M-rated games. (His latest interest is "Gear Wars," or something like that.) Right now we absolutely forbid M-rated games in our house. I agree to review them but I maintain that they are just not appropriate for his age. His mother and I are in complete agreement on this. We know he plays them occasionally at friends' houses, which we accept.

Tonight he wrote up a list of 19 of his friends who, he says, are allowed by their parents to play M-rated games. He wrote up a set of conditions and rules that he would abide by in order to establish his maturity and demonstrate his trustworthiness in owning and playing M-rated games. I am impressed by his reasoned, thoughtful approach, but I still believe that they are just not appropriate for his age.

I plan to contact some of his friends' parents to find out their thinking, but I'd be curious to know from other parents out there how they approach this question, and why. Thanks.

Answer 1

My thoughts as a mom of a 13 y/o boy myself. Its not the video that makes a kid violent or sexually active or any of the other junk we see in games, videos and movies.
I think where we see a decline in behavior because of these things is when we as parents forget to explain to our kids that these things are not real and then we dont follow up with what our kids are doing. Kids are too many times planted in front of these devices such as video games and tv as replacement day care and no real human interaction is given to instruct the kids that things dont work the same way in real life. They just see it and think its cool.
I am always reminded of the Columbine shootings when topics like this come up. Sure they played violent games and most likely listened to "hard core" music" but the thing that got me was the stock pile of guns and explosives in thier rooms that the parents didnt notice. So I am not saying these parents were bad but I cant help but speculate that if they did not notice stockpiles of weapons in the bedroom then maybe they were not involved in talking to the kids as much as needed maybe.
My kids have all sorts of games, and some of them are one guy beating the crap out of another. I drew the line at one game where some beast was raping some girl.
Sadly I hate video games but I have sat through many times just watching the game to see what it entails and then we discuss it. They know its fake.
Your kid is taking the initiative to write a list of rules he is willing to go by in order to play which is indeed a good sign of matuarity...so I am guessing we has a set of well rounded parents that have open communication and he has the matuarity and common sense to know these are just games.

Answer 2

I'm not a parent, but I'm an avid gamer and an older sister of 8 brothers. As far as M rated games goes, it really depends on the kid. Your child seems to be very level headed. (From what you described) I know that most of my brothers, despite the fact that they are under the age of 17, would be able to hand playing an M rated game. Let's face it, by taking those games away from him, you're not really accomplishing anything. There's nothing in those games that kids don't see or hear at school, or even on daytime television. I would recommend that you choose your battles.

Another idea is to allow M rated games, just be selective about which ones. On the back of games, where it shows the rating, it also shows WHY it is rated M.
Also, sit down and talk to him about how the violence in the games is purely fictional. Explain why those things can't happen in real life.
Talk about the use of foul language, and explain how curse words make people sound unintelligent and are mostly used in video games for shock value.
Tell him that if you see any signs what-so-ever of him re-enacting or repeating things from the game, then he's back at square one.

I have played Gears of War. It's got a lot of fake monsters, gore, and curse words. But nothing that would scar a 13 year old for life. I also just so happen to know that Gears of War is a two player game. You can play in co-operative mode, which means you and your son could play the game together. Not only would this be an excellent bonding experience, but it would give you the opportunity to explain things along the way.

I really hope that I could help. It sounds like you have an excellent son. Just be thankful for that.

Answer 3

I'm a very avid gamer, and while I do not have kids, I know what it's like to be in the plight of a young gamer trying to get M-rated games.

I have played Gears Of War and it is a little intense and graphic. I do not know your judgment of this, but i would suggest looking up gameplay videos on the internet or something like that.

As for other games, monitor what he plays. If you find it grotesque or offensive, place a ban on it until he is older. He will eventually get to the age where these things will not affect him and he will not go crazy or anything like that.

The truth is that games are not the downfall of our society. They let you express your feelings, and especially in violent games, let you vent your anger. As long as you're not going out and doing anything illegal, heck, why not. That's what these games are made for. In fact, it may show him that violence is very scary and it's something not to deal with in real life.

I hope that you can be reasonable with this (and at the same time a responsible parent). In the end, it's all about what YOU will allow or not allow.

Answer 4

Well you have to give him credit, The guidelines in which were established were done so by a bunch of loons. I can understand if you don't want you child exposed to Nudity that can be unlocked with cracks and secret codes. But the reason most of the Games in the genre are for the graphic violence and some language. This is nothing that he can't have already heard from kids at school or on the street. You have to be to trust your childs judgement, if you don't it will only lead to him doing without your permission in the long run. If he is will to draw a list for your approval and show the responsibility, that is pretty damn good for a 13yo to do that, I'd trust him and let him play, but you have the final say on what kinds of MA games he plays. Don't him play Playboy mansion or GTA Vice city: San Andreas, which has prositution and hacks that lead to nudity in it. Most of the Role playing Games like gears of war are Futuristic 1st person shooters, have blood and guts in them. Something you can see in comic books. The is no more graphic that Sex ed at school. Just my opinion.. Good luck trusting a very thoughtful son.

Answer 5

Well, obviously, asking the question, you are going to eventually get those people who say negative things about it... My opinion is like this... It is the parents' responsibility to monitor what you play or don't play. If your parents allow you to play those games, then they are the ones who risk how you turn out. If you still are a good person after playing the games, then good. However, if the games corrupt you and turn you into a bad person, then your parents will have to live with the little monster they created. So, I won't diss any one, but they are taking a gamble letting you play those games.

Answer 6

13 isn't too far away from being able to play them but I would research the M rated game first. Some are so bad I don't think adults should play them let alone kids. Check what makes them M rated

Answer 7

i dont know if this will help.
my mom and dad gave up on the rating ban when they discoverd that my brother 11 at the time was able to get in to PG13 and R movies, and buy his own games. he is also an excelent student and dosent really cause too much trouble.
i think that its silly in my perspective to try and impose a ban on something when your child is mature enough to come up with a list of ligit reasons. talk to the other parents and chances are its an older brother or sisters game the kids play. and trust me a whole lot worse is on tv that in some of these games

Answer 8

Stick to your guns. I don't really think it matters what the other parents says. I applaud you for paying attention to what your kids are playing. I personally don't intend to let my kids play video games at all. Go with your gut instinct. So glad to hear also that your & your wife are a united front.

Answer 9

my parents don't pay attention to the rating as much as the stuff that its rated on(drug use, violence, blood & gore) they dont have a problem with the violence and stuff like that but once nudity and sex stuff come into play there not so cool about it im 14

Answer 10

Hey, back of on his/her life not like m rated games will hert her.