i got dumped and cant cope with it?

Question

my bf of 10 months just broke up with me, he just couldnt deal with my illness, i suffer depression and cant control my anger, he was everything i had in my life and swore he'll be there for me, i didnt treat him very nice many times maybe because inside i feel like crap but he was still there by my side, now he is gone, he is younger than me and immature, stubborn, no direction in his life, lived in my house for 6 months rent free because i convinced him to go back to school and he did but didnt finish the semester. three days ago he went out with his friends and never came back, at first i was furious took all his things and took them to his mum's house, the next day i regreted it and call him, he broke up with me said it wasnt gona work that i am too possesive and selfish and that i need to find someone that can cope with my borderline, unfortunately for me that all was true i said i can change he didnt care, i lost him, the only person that was crazy enogh to like meand i killed it

now the guilt doesnt let me live, i miss him so much, and hate my self, cant stop craying and he lived in my appartment and i dont want to be here because everything reminds me of him, my friends are sympathetic but all very busy to help me through this

Answer 1

Move on, he was probably a loser anyway. "More fish in the sea" and all that.

Answer 2

Hi! You really don't need a bf;

What you really need is 'Professional Treatment'.

You said "I suffered Depression"

Depression is a serious problem that you my see Doctor!

You said : "Can't Control Anger"

Anger is "Habit" and simply can be controlled if you talk with a good doctor.
FURTHER, no guys in this World would take Anger from a gf.

You said: "He was younger and Immature!"
IF you are "Older and Mature" WHY are you after "Immature person and "crying for HIM"; Then, there is a lot of possibility that you have some "serious" problems that going after "younger" and "immature" >
FURTHER, you may be charge by POLICE if you continue chasing younger and "immature"people; for "Abuse"!

You said: "Because inside I feel like CRAP"
Then, you must explain for a "Doctor" what you did in past for having such feeling; one of main reason could be "sexual activities with Immature people" Because they don't really know What they are doing; and if your inside telling you what you did was 'wrong' then you will LOSE your 'self esteem'.

SELF ESTEEM is an inside element and force that doesn't let YOU to go after "Immature and Younger people."
NOW still you are not regret and still saying: "I LOS HIM!"

Just think what his 'Mother' thinking about YOU older chasing his SON; Do you like anyone does the same with your son!

You must talk with doctor, and before FULL treatment YOU are NOT allowed to meet any GUY! It is not good for you, it is harmful for those guys too.

IF I were you; I would spend, everyday, at Least Two Hours in the gym and I would Run, Run, Run until my Brian Chemical get Balance! Then Depression automatically would be wept out without any kind of DRUGS!

Answer 3

I know exactly where you are coming from. I have suffer badly from depression, for causes that date back years.
Remember you are all too normal. Now act to make a change.
The first thing you need to do is get on top of the depression, to help you cope with this loss but to get to a even level so that you have a chance to reconcile or atleast in the future be more fun to be with.
Call your doctor asap. Get your perscription and mgt methods right. If your doctor cant get on top of it for you then get a better doctor.
I know it seems bleak now and you strain to remember a time that seems happy and 'normal' but with the right measures and a short period of time you can feel consistantly good with the particularly bright moments that everyone else gets to feel.
Remember depression is a chemical change, it is real, normal and treatable. The sooner you get a great doctor and program the sooner you will realise how much you have missed.
Initially you will see and feel glimmers of hope. Then these will open up and be more of the time than less and gradually small things that seem difficult to achieve now will just happen.
Then one day you will realise that everything is just in place.
The happier you are the better all of your relationships will be. x

Answer 4

Its tough.

If you fear losing too much, the fear sometimes drives away the person you love. My brother dumped his very nice gf for this reason. If she was a bit less insecure, I'd be an uncle now.

You are probably better working on your self esteem and mabye depression before going out with another bf. Is your depression medical or psychological. Check with doctor.

Assuming your depression is in the "normal" range; i.e., no medication required, get involved in some activities like clubs whatever that can help build your self esteem and also your network of friends.

Good luck.

P.S. Don't hate yourself, build yourself up. Take this pain as learning experience. You sound young, which means you start now and youll find someone soon enough, after you've dealt.

Dont be afraid to talk councelor

Answer 5

You didn't get dumped, you drove him away.
Now you have learned that there are consequences for your bad behaviour. Even when you think you have a valid excuse for it.
There are treatments for depression, & you CAN control your anger. It will help if you work to find out why you are angry, but you have to work at it just like the rest of us do.

I am going to tell you the same thing I told a family member who was constantly raging at me, & then would come back the next day to appologise.

I said "You will do far better the next time if you think before you speak NOW, rather than rely on appologies LATER."

Answer 6

ok so you have issues. the thing is you can't take it out on anyone. regardless of whatever pills you might need to take there are just some mistakes a human being should never ever make. if you want him back then you are just going to have to stop. no promises, just do it. regardless of what may or may not be held from rolling off your tongue you should never treat him unequally. sure you gave him a place to stay, but he could have stayed at home. don't think you gave him charity. let him know you didn't give him charity. he has known you for a while now. it will take more than words to proove you changed. you need to actually change and let him say whats on his mind without interrupting. give him his way. let him win the fight. let him believe he deserves a trophy. he needs to know he is the man and that you will respect him and never try to hurt his dignity.

Answer 7

I truely am sorry for your loss. However you have to understand that for every action - there is a reaction. It sounds like your depression was affecting him as well. There are treatments available for most people for this, some help and some do not.
My advise, try to move on, take one step at a time, and try to deal and resolve your emotional problems.

Answer 8

Relax,,,,,,,,,, no one is perfect. Sounds like this guy wasn't the guy for you after all! It's not the end of the world. Believe me.

You'll meet someone else. In the mean time, why don't you get into some anger management classes and learn more about yourself. It will help you to prepare for your next relationship.

Answer 9

well you just have to know there a millions more people out there. if you have anger problems you should see a therapist first. being angry all the time doean't help a relationship. that probably is the reason why you can't cope now. so get that in chack first. it will lift a major weight and get you back on track. then get back into dating.

Answer 10

Move on. U have others in the world to talk to. I've been there and my my, the 1st 2 weeks were bad. I told myself i've been thru many obstacles and hell no, this guy isn't gonna to bring me down. I will survive and strive to see the light ahead...
I had a better man in my life after 5 years of loneliness. Mind you, i had been thru depression and the perfect guy appeared to me when i was down and out. Juz keep praying to God, he listens.

Answer 11

Sweetie, there is a guy out there for u....but first you should learn to cope with your depression before you get involved with someone. Look into counseling or medication....but know that you are worth of that special guy's love!!! and i promise you that you will find him...if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to e-mail me!

I'll be keeping you in prayer...God bless!