Will being passive ever work with women?

Question

So heres my problem:
-I'm an introvert
-I often feel uncomfortable meeting new people
-I am 6 foot 4 and very athletic, so people don't usually expect me to be shy.
-I go to a fairly large college with a high female to male ratio.
-But many of these girls are shallow and just like to get wasted. The ones that arent are to reserved for me to even come close to connecting with (I cant make the first move)
-All the other girls think your just trying to get in their pants(cause thats what they are used to from other guys)
-I have absolutely no experience. None. Im 18 and have basically never kissed a girl.
-I have fairly low self esteem, but ive been trying to work on it.


Even though I have no burning desire to find love, I figure it wouldnt hurt to at least see what relationships are like, right? But alas, therin lies the problem. So what ive been doing is just saying something every now and then to get a girl to think, but not actualy do anything, this method ever have a prayer?

Answer 1

Nope! It does not work on us. You need to think of it another way. We women get into many bad relationships because guys like you tend to blend in with the wood work. Give some girl the chance to meet you and decide they like you by taking a chance and talking to a couple and asking them out. There are guys out their abusing women through physical, mental, and the inability to be loyal to just her. Don't let that one that is meant for you go through that because of being shy. If you would be good to a girl if you fell in love with her then she deserves to meet you. Don't let a low self esteem stop you from living and loving because to be honest almost every one has a low self esteem just some hide it a lot easier than the rest of us.

Answer 2

That approach is unlikely to yield results.

Here's the deal: make friends without strings and expectations attached. Right now the impression that you project is not very attractive.

Short feedback: you seem to be judging people before you get to know them. All the possible girls are either shallow, too reserved or defensive. You just drained the pool of all possible candidates.

A date is NOT a lifetime commitment. It's just some shared time that should be enjoyable to both participants. If it does not work out, move on.

Answer 3

I feel like I've just met myself 3 years ago... Everything you said describes me to a T.

Only differance is that I am 21, 6'3', out of college, and have had a few girlfriends. I am still a virgin however.

I can tell you one thing though, being shy isn't a bad thing, some girls actually find that cute and would like to try and crack your shell, just to get inside and see what makes you tick.

Recently, a girl I knew for over a year and never thought I would have a chance with, asked me to hang out with her. I couldn't think of a single reason why she would ask me, but I decided to go. We went to see a movie, we talked (I usually can't think of **** to talk about, my mind draws blanks so I usually just talk about the day, or let her do the talking and just give some feedback), we had icecream even though it was 50 something degrees outside. It was great.

Next day, she comes to my house. We watch another movie, it was quiet. We didn't talk too much. After the movie was over, we started watching HBO and Showtime movies. It was getting later, we were getting tired, she laid over my lap as we started watching Dukes of Hazard. She started talking about how Jessica Simpson's figure looked. I told her how her figure looked. We got to talking some more and then I stole a kiss as her head was in my lap with her hairband is over her eyes. After that was heavenly.

Well, anyways, the point is, be yourself. Talk to the girls. Find one you like. Get to know her. You said yourself you are in no rush, so take it slow, get to know her. Then, make your move.

Answer 4

I think your best chance of developing a serious (or somewhat serious) relationship is to meet some mutual friend or classmate or whatever and start out as friends with her, first. Then go from there. Just walking up to some girl and asking her to go get some coffee with you sometime would probably not work for you.
But is it possible to be with a girl considering your disposition? Sure. I've dated shy guys before. It just takes time.

Answer 5

There are typically two fallacies used to justify the hypocricy that a man should "NEVER hit a woman back" The first is the ridiculous notion that women are encapable of causing any "damage".  This is absurd because who is to say what a man getting hit gets to consider "damage"?  If you told a rape victim that she didn't suffer any real damage becuase she wasn't beat to sh!t during the attack, those same people's heads would explode with rage.  Also, it only takes 3lbs of preasure to break someones nose, and even a petite woman is more than capable of exerting 3lbs of preasure and I don't know anyone who wouldn't consider a borken nose "damage". Second is the equally ridiculous notion that "retaliation is not self defense".  Any defense / stratigic expert will tell you that a retaliatory strike is absolutely a measure of self defense, a retaliarory strike (even against an inferior opponent) serves the purpose of self defense by A) detering / discouraging  the original attacker from a second attack and B) discouraging / detering any other potiential attackers because they saw the negative consequnces of attacking you.  If a 150lbs man hits a 250lbs man and the 250lbs man hits the 150lbs man back, no one (myself included) would have any sympathy for or come to the aid of the 150lbs man, the general consensus would be that the 150lbs man should have known better and got what he deserved. But, if a 120lbs woman hits a 150lbs man, and the man hits her back, then the man is a "coward, abuser, not a real man" and should have "just walked away or tried to restrain her" and every "white knight" within earshot will be falling all over themselves to come to the "victim's" aid, all because men are so much bigger and stronger and do so much more "damage". The outrage over a man hitting a woman back has nothing to do with size, strength or "damage" and everything to do with maintaining a double standard that allows women to physically assault men with impunity.

Answer 6

u sound like a nice enough guy. i would say no, that being passive like that doesn't exactly work for the type of girl you have in mind to date. being the nice guy is good but making the proper efforts to approach the girl is much needed. you sound like you would like a girl who has the same interests as you, and also an introvert. chances are, she will be more shy than you. so you better make the first move and show your interest in her. and hopefully, she isn't shallow either like the other girls.

Answer 7

Honestly, I think your best bet is to try to make a lot of good female friends. That way you will get used to talking to girls, become more comfortable around them so when you're talking to a girl you don't know, you'll have more confidence. You sound really sweet, you have plenty of time, you're pretty much surrounded by girls, you'll get that experience soon enough.

Answer 8

I am introverted myself. Here is my suggestion: Don't try to compete with the other guys. Have a discriminating eye and wait for that girl that turns you on and she will naturally make you want to approach her. Don't try to force anything or you will lose everytime because it's just not in you.

Answer 9

It will work with a girl who is strong and dominating by nature, highly-sexed, intelligent and curious and finds you overwhelmingly attractive.

Hopefully:

a) you like girls like this

b) there are some girls like this at your campus

If you wanted to widen your scope, you could maybe try older women, who would definitely want to initiate a tall, shy, handsome young virgin to sex.

Answer 10

it may for others, may not for most girls.

why don't u just try hanging out with groups? you'll certainly be able to get to know the girls' stuff & u'l learn the way girls think. plus u'll get introduced and sumbody might get attracted to you. if u start receiving simple but flirty glances & the like, go man.

start befriending them (girls) and let them get to know u better.