Single and struggling - which way is right?

Question

My daughter has graduated and my three strong willed sons remain in my care to be raised up in the ways they should go (16,11,9). Things seem more tough with them than ever as they each strive to find and proclaim their identities.

I've been divorced since Jan. '03. We'd sold the house and he agreed to let me use the profit to buy a repossessed mobile home in order to afford living. Going from the huge house to this was a huge adjustment, but we're still here. This much is 'fine' but the problem is child support was enough to keep food in the cupboards and the lot rent only. I've had to work to pay other bills and all else. It's been tough finding employment where I can raise enough $ plus be here for them in the a.m. before school, after school, and summer. Finding or affording childcare is a joke. So, I've been through various positions, the last being awesome as a photographer going into daycares throughout western Pa taking children's pictures. But leaving at 4 to 6 a.m....

left the younger boys alone before school - and frustrated. They'd call during shoots even though I asked them not to. Anyway, during my summer lay off I started a home business to hopefully now be able to make $ AND be home with them. But it became a disaster. At the same time my ex-husband's car broke down AND his only work with his company involved traveling 3 hours so he was making almost nothing and ended up losing his place. By August we're both on the fritz & his mom is dying in the hospital. Despite not desiring a relationship w/ him, as his ways hadn't changed at all, I told him to come stay w/ us. He could use my car to get to work so that we'd be able to pay some bills again. But then strangely, things got strange to where, despite his trade and excellent reliability, he is struggling to find work that will pay what he should be making....so we're struggling financially anyway.

And worse, his habits are intrusive to us. We're experiencing the same crap we'd escaped

four years ago. My oldest two have seen this garbage most of their lives (minus the past 4 years) but my youngest two are now at the ages where his behaviors are affecting them more than ever. I'm so concerned about allowing them to remain living like this. Yet they love dad to death and bounce back quickly after one of his spells (alcoholism) & would be angry at my removing him from the unit again.

But I have to do what's right - But then again, how can I do much of anything??? I can't find the right kind of work that allows me to balance home and work right, we're already in a financial pickle as it is. We have absolutely nothing for Christmas - not even a tree. Yet that's the least of my concerns. If I don't make a car payment soon it will be repossessed.

I don't know why things are happening like this - especially since I am a woman of faith who wants to serve God only. And I don't know what to do. What do I do? Is there an angel reading this who might tell me?

Answer 1

God will not put more on you than you can bear, He will find a way for you to escape it. Turn it over to God, casting all your cares on Him for He careth for you. Don't despair, be content to know WHO is in charge. Read the book of Job, it tells the story of Job who really suffered yet kept his faith in God. In the end, Job was blessed and given more than what he had lost because of his faith in God. God promised He would never leave or forsake you. When you are discouraged and you don't know what to do, reach out to Jesus, He's reaching out to you.

Answer 2

You can only do the best you can in all that you do and that is what's important. You not giving up is what counts the most. The only thing you can do, is take it one day at a time. Even in what seems like the worst predictaments, you're still there - and in some strange way, things will fall into place when the time is right. All things happen for a reason, whether it's good or bad. And if you are a believer, then believe that God wouldn't put nothing on you He didn't think you could handle. And times like these, only makes you stronger, and wiser. Honey, keep doing what you're doing. You're obviously doing something right and if you made it through today, you'll just might make it tomorrow. But realize that when you woke up this morning, there went your first blessing. And also, just when you thought you were having bad times, there are others out there that have it much worse than you and me. All of us are going through things and it's not our problems that matter -- it's what we do about them that count. Reading your story, I realized that with me, myself was going through, isn't half as bad as what you're going through. If it's worth anything, I do hope and pray things get better for you and I believe they will. Just don't give up. It'll get worse before it get's better. And nothing, happens overnight. Whatever you do - don't give up. One day at a time; that's what I do. And so far, it works for me. Good luck to you and your family.

Answer 3

Your kids are old enough to get ready for school in the morning and come home in the afternoon and start homework or chores without having a parent hanging over them every second. You should look for a job that will pay you enough money for living expenses and maybe ask the 16 yr old to get a job and help out.

Answer 4

If a "suffering" unmarried mom demands aid, she will have to FIRST have a tubal ligation, then let's examine to it that she will get an schooling, has a trustworthy situation to reside, and meals for herself and the baby. We need to see to it that she has entry to correct daycare. I believe the relaxation will regularly take care if itself. There cannot be a moment baby, a lot much less five.

Answer 5

I'm so sorry you're going through such a lot. GOOD FOR YOU for being such a good mom.

Perhaps ask for social assistance or a social worker to guide you as to how to deal with all these issues.

G-d be with you and bless you.

Answer 6

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