2006-12-16 14:30:24 · 4 answers · asked by imjust_lori 3 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
A man was driving down the road and he got pulled over by the police. The officer says, "I pulled you over because you were speeding. Do you always speed?" The man said that he normally does not speed but today had a lot on his mind. Then his wife butted in and said, "No officer. Thats not true. He speeds ALL of the time! He drives like he is in a hurry and slows down for NOBODY." so her husband became a bit angry.
Then the officer noticed that the guy wasn't wearing his seatbelt and questioned him about that as well. The guy said, "Oh yeah officer. I ALWAYS wear my seatbelt. I just took it off this time so I could get my wallet out of my pocket." Again his wife butts in and tells the officer that her husband NEVER buckles up and is always complaining about how stupid the seatbelt laws are.
At this point the man gets very angry and starts yelling at his wife. The cop asks, "Does your husband get enraged like this all of the time?" and his wife says, "No.. hardly ever... he only gets this way when he has been drinking."
2006-12-16 14:37:47 · answer #1 · answered by Joe K 6 · 3⤊ 2⤋
John D. Rockefeller III was going to a board meeting. His secretary said to him: "Mr. Rockefeller, that suit seems old. Would your Father be ashamed of you wearing it?"
He replied "I certainly hope not! It is his suit."
Not a joke but a real story, I used it once to open a budget strategy meeting.
2006-12-16 14:44:43 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get someone to introduce you. After he/she lists off all your credentials and summarizes the upcoming presentation, he/she will then state, "Now, let's give a warm welcome to ________ and also wish him/her a very happy birthday ..."
You enter to thunderous applause, smile graciously to the audience and say something like, "Thank you very much, but I must confess today is really NOT my birthday ... I just like the extra attention!"
I've seen this approach used and it is quite effective.
2006-12-16 14:39:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How many General Managers (or whatever position you want to tease) does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
ONE... he holds the bulb and the world revolves around him
2006-12-16 14:34:15 · answer #4 · answered by Scott M 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋