If anyone trys to force me to do anything I will ALWAYS do the opposite of what they wand, even if I have to suffer for it. I hate being manipulated in any way.
2006-12-16 13:18:19 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
because they have control issues. they are trying to control you or a situation. we just have to come to terms with the fact that we have no control of anything like we think. but we do have free will.
2006-12-16 13:20:43 · answer #1 · answered by crystallostinpa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Manipulation is a way of getting what you want aka control. If your in a good relationship there is no reason for manipulation. If you are drinking or abuse then there is the ultimatum of quit or leave and that is because you doing something that changes the aspect of the relationship. You shouldn't always do the opposite. it really depends on the subject and why would you suffer if what is going on is wrong.
My best advise is listen to what is being said and then think about it. If it is something like stop drinking or be gone then make a choice and live with it. If it is something like, if you don't get me that car or that outfit, I will leave. then let them leave. good luck.
2006-12-16 21:24:50 · answer #2 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it depends on the situation, if a spouse or bf or gf is abusive and they are given the ultimatum to get help or the relationship will end, that is not unreasonable.
My ex husband used to say things like," you have two weeks to change, or I am leaving you". I was very young at the time, and I had no idea what was wrong with me to start with, He wanted me to be someone else, like other women, other wives, movie stars, whatever. Key word in the paragraph is EX.
An ultimatum is something that should only be used once, or it is meaningless. Constant ultimatums means someone definitely has insecurities and control issues.
2006-12-16 21:30:58 · answer #3 · answered by Hatem 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An ultimatum is not necessarily about someone trying to manipulate you. I think they work for the good as well, some people if you give them an inch will take a mile. For the people who want their cake and to eat it too...that's really who they should be reserved for. But if you have to give an ulitmatum, you need to decide is the other person really worth all the hassle. They had already made their decision before you gave the ultimatum.
2006-12-16 21:23:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
FIRST OF ALL, ULTIMATUMS ARE NOT INTENDED TO MANIPULATE OR CONTROL YOU BUT SIMPLY TO RE-GAIN THE RESPECT OR CONTROL ONCE LOST. THIS IS ALMOST ALWAYS A LAST ATTEMPT THAT A PERSON USES IN ORDER TO SALVAGE THE SITUATION. THIS USUALLY WAKES UP A PERSON INTO REALIZING WHAT HE OR SHE MAY LOOSE IF THEY DO NOT FIND A WAY OF MAKING THINGS RIGHT.
BUT IF YOUR CASE IS REALLY ABOUT CONTROLING AND MANIPULATING YOU AND THIS PERSON REALLY DOES NOT CARE ABOUT YOU THEN I SUGGEST YOU MOVE ON. BY THE WAY, THE WORST THING YOU CAN DO TO YOURSELF IS GO THE OPPOSITE WAY JUST TO PROVE A POINT EVEN IF IT HURTS YOU. TRY LOVING YOURSELF A BIT MORE AND BEING MATURE TO KNOW WHAT EXACTLY IS THE ULTIMATUM FOR AND IS IT IN YOUR BEST INTEREST OR IS THIS ULTIMATUM DUE TO NEGATIVE ACTIONS ON YOUR PART. IF SO, OWN UP TO IT AND RESOLVE IT IN A POSITIVE MANNER.
2006-12-16 21:32:47 · answer #5 · answered by bynpailez 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I agree with Mark D's answer. Not all people are trying to manipulate you by offering an ultimatum. However if that is all that person ever does, then move on.
2006-12-16 22:04:56 · answer #6 · answered by Kati B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
They are desperate. I agree with you, ultimatums do not work in the long run. always defeat. It would be wise for those imposing it to consider an alternative compromise. Talk. Force never works lomg tern. Find your own place and stick with it. Find out for real what YOU want. What do you you want? Much love to you. Di
2006-12-16 21:31:24 · answer #7 · answered by Red! 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone has things they won't tolerate. Else they're an idiot who would be with someone who tortured them.
Letting the other person know an issue is a deal breaker is just more honest and polite than not letting them know and leaving without warning.
If they seem to have a ton of these "zero tolerance" issues then you should leave them and not feel bad that they had such issues. It just means they're a control freak you don't want to be with anyway.
2006-12-16 21:20:47 · answer #8 · answered by Mark D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I will give ultimatums when I can't get the other person to pay attention any other way. The people I am referring to are my adult children and when they are using my things (usually my cars). Cripes, I get tired of nagging at them to not drive on an empty tank and to keep tthe oil changed on a regular basis.
So it is now to the point, you either do it MY way, or park MY cars.
2006-12-16 21:23:03 · answer #9 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Control & Fear.
I hear what you're saying ... I tend to react as you do. However I've learned there's allot to be had by compromising and sometimes letting the other person have, or at least THINK they have had their way.
2006-12-16 21:22:08 · answer #10 · answered by AJD 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋