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Hi! I'm 13 and my parents are sort of "argueing" right now. Their fights/arguments are strange because if they dissagree or start rasing their voices, they just won't talk to each other for a while. They try to avoid each other as much as possible. My parents have argued like this many times, and have gotten into some pretty bad arguements, and it's a miracle they stayed together after some of them. But, it's depressing, uncomfortable, and Christmas is coming up. They both listen to me but never really take what I say seriously. Anyways, is there anything I can do to maybe help out or prevent it? And if they do split up, what should I do to make the hit less painful?

Thanks in advance!

2006-12-16 13:01:58 · 19 answers · asked by JC 2 in Family & Relationships Family

19 answers

First I would ask your parents to sit down, kinda like what they do when you did something bad.
Then I would tell them that you don't like it when they fight and you get depressed and all. Then I would give them the phone numbers of some marriage counselors that you have called before that are taking new patients. Call the counselors in the phone book to see if any are taking new patients first.
This will shock them both and show that you may be only 13, but know that you love them both and want them to work out what ever problems they have and since they can't seem to do this on their own, the counselor will be able to help.
This may also help if they do decide to split up, because they will split up on a much more friendly note, instead of fighting over the coffee mug that your aunt gave them that both of them hated, but because the other person wants it they want it more.
As far as what to do if they split up and who do you go with, go with the person that you want to go with. It is a hard decision to make and certainly one that shouldn't be made in 5 minutes. If they do tell you that they are splitting up and ask you who you would like to stay with, tell them that you will let them know in the morning then go to your room and figure it out.
Good luck. I had to make that decision when I was 10 and it wasn't an easy one to make.
If you have a good friend, they may be a good person to talk too. It helps to talk to a good friend sometimes.

2006-12-16 14:01:45 · answer #1 · answered by Joel 3 · 0 0

I'm sorry to hear this, I know it's not easy to go through, especially around the holidays. If your parents continue to fight, try and talk to them separately and let them know exactly how all of their fighting is making you feel. Get mad, cry, whatever it takes to get your point across to them. Sometimes, adults don't realize how their actions affect others around them until they get hit in the face with it. Some times you have to "hit" hard. Don't be afraid to let them know, you need to get your point across to them so that they understand the consequences of their actions.

If they do split up, yeah, it's gonna hurt, but try and think of it this way: perhaps everyone would be better off away from each other, thereby allowing them some peace and a chance to find some happiness. Just because the potential for divorce is there, doesn't mean it will happen, but if it does, don't let the distance in miles between your parents become a greater distance between you and them.

Good luck, and I hope you can have a happy holiday. God bless.

2006-12-16 13:12:22 · answer #2 · answered by Laurie K 5 · 0 0

There really is nothing that you can do. Your parents have to be the ones to work out their differences. Sometimes, walking away from eachother for a while and avoiding eachother is a way to get it back under control. If they do split up just remember they cannot work out the differences between eachother but the one thing they do have in common is you and they are not splitting from you.

It may feel like they aren't taking you serious but I am sure they are thinking over what you say. It sounds like they are preoccupied with what is going on with them right now and your feeling a little left out and worried about what is going to happen. Remember it is their differences. Kind of like when you fight with a sibling or a friend. You have to figure it out between you.

Best of luck. I hope things get better for you. To help with the pain, keep on talking to both your parents. I'm sure once they decide what they are going to do, both of them will be there to help you through this also.

2006-12-16 13:11:51 · answer #3 · answered by cheoli 4 · 0 0

There is nothing you can do. This is between your parents and has nothing to do with you at all. You have to let them work it out themselves, no matter what the outcome might be. The only thing you can really do is talk to them and tell them how you feel and what you think about the situation. Just be honest with them, and whether or not they take you seriously at least you will know you told them how you feel. In regards to "lessening" the pain if something does happen - keep positive until proven otherwise. If something does happen then deal with it then and know that both your parents love you no matter what.

2006-12-16 13:04:51 · answer #4 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0 0

Parents argue sometimes just like siblings argue and sometimes it can get very nasty. Some parents go for days without speaking as a way to cool off. It does'nt always end in divorce, but sometimes it does. As difficult as it is for you there is very little that you can do. Just try to be understanding. I know that it is very scary and painful for you to witness this and it would be a good idea for you to talk to someone. A family member, a teacher or some other adult who can lend a good ear. If it does end in a divorce remember both of your parents love you! Try to let them know that you still love them, and that you understand.
Sometimes parents just can't be together anymore and often times it's a very difficult decision for them to make but they do it because it is better than subjecting their children to constant arguments. Hang in there hun. It will eventually work out and you will get through it, as dark as it seems right now. Good luck.

2006-12-16 13:32:32 · answer #5 · answered by Cannuck 3 · 0 0

Go into your room, shut your door, put your music ,on and let them be , unless they start hitting each other than you have to call the police. you should not have to go through that it is hard to listen to them fight and if they fight all the time maybe that would be better for them to split up for a while you might be a little bite happier

2006-12-16 13:21:17 · answer #6 · answered by Libra 3 · 0 0

Their relationship problems are not yours to fix. Take that weight off your back. There isn't anything to lessen the hit if they do split. It will help though if you keep communicating how you feel even if they split. Some relationships just don't work out no matter what. Sorry

2006-12-16 13:06:00 · answer #7 · answered by jane d 1 · 0 0

The tough news is, its not your fault and there isn't much you can do about it to prevent things from happening. The good part is they both love you and they aren't trying to make your life suck.

Just try and get away from the fighting and hang out with friends more.

2006-12-16 13:04:54 · answer #8 · answered by bluechick 5 · 0 0

Whether Christmas is coming up or not your parents will not forget you. This is an Adult situation that is not your fault. Hang in there, hopefully this will also blow over. They should seek Counseling, maybe you could ask them to go to Church with you.

This type of bonding usually brings people closer, who knows?

2006-12-16 13:09:02 · answer #9 · answered by bynpailez 1 · 0 0

i imagine you're giving your sister the finest answer an older sister ought to offer. you're being tremendous supportive of one yet another and that i appreciate that about you. enable her do not ignore that she will communicate with you at anytime. you ought to both examine consisting of the doorstep dad or mom and tell them the way it is affecting the kin noticeably the infant. now and again relationships do not continuously exercising habitual, yet they both ought to take care of it like adults really of performing like wild animals. this is the vacation journeys and they ought to no longer be behaving this manner, definetly deliver it to their attentions. I want you each of the finest

2016-10-18 09:34:03 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

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