I live with my fiance' and my daughter. Whenever I ask my mom for financial help she does what she can with no problem. If she can't help at that moment she will ask my dad who always says no and his first response is you need to move back home because you wouldn't have to worry about money then.
I do not get along with my dad whatsoever and never have. My mom tries to override anything I tell my daughter to do so that wouldn't work either.
I've been with my fiance' 6yrs and have lived with him for 4yrs. We are doing the best we can do right now and I don't want to leave him. I don't want my daughter to live apart from her dad. What should I do? Feel free to go into depth.
2006-12-16 12:57:55 · 10 answers · asked by iLuVMyFaMiLy:) 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
*xtratabasco* My fiance' IS the father of my daughter. I've been with him since I was 16. I am not chaotic. It's one thing to give constructive criticism and its another to be rude and insult me.
2006-12-16 13:21:39 · update #1
There are no problems between my fiance' and I. We are a very happy couple.
2006-12-16 13:23:14 · update #2
Most definately I love this man soooo much.
2006-12-16 13:24:50 · update #3
My husband and I had 2 children and ran in to money trouble. My Mother suggested that the chldren and I move in with her for a couple weeks so we could get back on our feet. After she had us in her home she began measures to try to take our children away unless I divorced my husband. It took the local child welfare and the Police to extricate my children from her custody! They are now suffering from Post traumatic distress and still in councelling my oldest has also seen a Phychiatrist. My mother is not allowed any contact with my children or they will be taken away from me if I allow her access.
I am in no way saying that this will happen to you if you move in with your parents but be careful and make an informed decision. Talk with your fiance. You can still be a good parent if you struggle financially. Most communities have supports and aids to help you get on your feet try that first! Good luck!
2006-12-16 13:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by Cannuck 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you are doing well with your fiance, why would you leave? Though finances can be tough keep trying, work hard and be happy with your fiance and your child.
Of course your parents want you under thier roof so they can tell you and your child what to do and what not to do but it is your life, live it in a way that will make you happy and proud.
I think you should stay where you are if you are happy there.
2006-12-16 21:01:52 · answer #2 · answered by surfer_grl_ca 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your answer is in the second paragraph of your question. You said it yourself: You do not get along whatsoever with your dad and never have... It's not gonna get better. Your mom tries to override anything you tell your daughter to do, so that won't work either. That's not gonna get better... it's gonna get worse as your daughter gets older. I don't know the age difference between you and your mom, but usually, they don't have the same views on raising kids as we do now. My mom came to live with us, and it was just chaotic. The kids suffered and my authority suffered with my kids, because everytime she tried to override me (and sometimes...often succeeded), my authority was cut in half... and again... and again...
I notice that you never said once in your question that you don't want to leave your fiancé because you love him... do you love him??????? Cause if you don't, it's not gonna work anymore. And maybe you should ask yourself a question: How long is your engagement gonna last to this guy? Are you ever gonna tie the knot? And is it possible that your parents don't like him? I get that impression.
As for your daughter living apart from her dad, there's always shared custody... Your daughter lives one week with you, one with her dad. That can even work if you are both living with your respective parents.
But I may have another solution: What about moving out alone with your daughter? Your parents could help, your fiancé would have to give you child support, you could manage. This way, you would raise your daughter. And the shared custody still works this way too.
No matter what, it's not really a case of what works for you. You no longer have that option, as you have a child and you are responisble for her. And any court in the world decides a child's fate with the best interests of the child at heart. So, what's in your daughter's best interest?
Whenever I have a hard question to ponder and answer, I take a piece of paper and divide it into 4 sections: 1. Pros of staying 2. Cons of staying 3. Pros of leaving 4. Cons of leaving.
You can also do a second one: 1. Pros of moving in with parents 2. Cons of moving in with parents 3. Pros of not moving in with parents 4. Cons of moving in with parents
And another: 1. Pros of staying with fiancé 2. Cons of staying with fiancé 3. Pros of leaving fiancé 4. Cons of leaving fiancé.
You'd be amazed how much clearer everything is after. It's really hard to lie to yourself when you're writing. And don't worry about anyone else but you ever seeing it. You can destroy the papers after so write down EVERYTHING that comes to mind.
Good luck... I hope you make it and are happy, whatever decision you take. Follow your heart... and that little voice inside that we tend to try and hush... usually, these don't lead you astray. Oh... and there's probrably some kinda places near where you live that can help single parents out. Check it out. Ask your daugher's doctor, a nurse, the Salvation Army. You can do whatever you put your mind to.... because your daughter is counting on you. That's the one constant.
2006-12-16 21:23:09 · answer #3 · answered by The ReDesign Diva 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it doesn't sound like you are doing to bad. We all struggle in life, your life is just a struggle. Are you getting state assistance? You should. And try to further your education so that your financial situation can change. You already know it won't work back at home with your parents, so if your only problem is finances, trust me, your independence is way worth it.
2006-12-16 21:16:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes move back with your parents and tell your fiance to move back to his. It would seem that neither of you are ready for the demands of a relationship and the real responsibilities that come with it.... stay with parents, save money and invest in the future... and stop asking mom and dad for money.
2006-12-16 21:00:44 · answer #5 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no you shouldn't move home you need to seriously look at your finances/spending, you shouldn't be asking you parents for money. time to reign in your spending and take responsibilty for your self asking mom and dad for money whenever things get tough is not the way to do it and not the adult way to handle things. If you go home plane on things going their way.
2006-12-16 21:02:43 · answer #6 · answered by Babe 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It seems you are old enough to screw and have babies without the original father so your old enough to live on your own or with a boyfriend, leave your folks alone, in fact why dont you give to them, they raised your chaotic asq.
2006-12-16 21:01:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Is there any problems going on between you and your fiance?
2006-12-16 21:01:34 · answer #8 · answered by Nicole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont go home, both of you better look for better jobs. check out welfare, not married with a kid should get you some help
2006-12-16 21:06:45 · answer #9 · answered by robert c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, u shouldnt, talk to your dad more often let him know, if ur not in a good relationship with ur dad, that wont be good
2006-12-16 21:03:20 · answer #10 · answered by •Me• 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋