how come i still want him?

Question

he treated me awful in the end but i still find myself thinking of him and missing him cuddling me and things its awful, i want him to call me, i can,t believe it all i loved being with him. i feel so hurt, why do i still look back at how nice he was to me and how could he be so different. , my friend said i look sad this week i hate losing someone. i felt i loved him. i want to forget though.

Answer 1

It's called Munchausen syndrome (not sure of the spelling); vistims of kidnap & hostages have often been released only to find that they felt an unconditional loyalty to their tormentors...
It happens. You're aware of it, so you can keep on top of it. Make sure you don't fall again for someone who will treat you like that, we often do because a fatal attraction has been created...

Answer 2

Being "in love" causes the release of a molecule in the brain called PEA. When you are continuously in a relationship with someone, your brain develops an addiction or dependence on this molecule. Thus, when that person disappears from your life, the brain makes you feel very unhappy because it seems like it has a chemical imbalance. Levels of dopamaine and other neurotransmitters can also affect your mood and are related to "love".
You could give it time, you could find someone new, or you could substitute love with something else……
…the molecule PEA is also present in things like chocolate, (although this external source is not as effective)
and it is often triggered by rubbing of certain parts of the body (especially the back of the neck) ……so maybe a sensual massage is in order.

Don't blame yourself, its just the way you work.

Answer 3

You miss what you wish to have in a man, wished him to be. I don't think you necessarily want him. You want what you thought he was in the beginning. You miss the good feelings of the closeness of being with someone, the cuddle times, the laughter, and the good times you shared. It is ok to grieve what you had. Unfortunately, he cannot give it to you for whatever reason now. You will find someone who will be able to give you all that and more than you would EVER imagine. Hang in there. Hugs to you. Try to be with your friends and your family and enjoy the spirit of Christmas. Go out and do something for someone else who looks like they are having a bad day. It will brighten both your spirits and help you through this horrible stage in life. You will be stronger and will appreciate the next wonderful guy God has in store for you. Merry Christmas.

Answer 4

Its probably not because you love him, its most likely because you got use to him being around.

Its funny because I was in a bad relationship too and felt some what like you do right now. And when I met my husband, who treated me (and still does til this day) like a queen 24/7..it felt weird. I felt as if he was acting, or that he would be like this for a year and then turn into an a**. But he didnt.

I'm guessing that your ex use to put you down and make you feel as if you deserved nothing better than him...so sadly you began to believe in it. Just know that you deserve better. No one deserves to be disrespected or belittled. Someone who truly loves you would never inflict pain (whether its physical or mental) on you.

Answer 5

He showed himself to be a bastard at the end, and not the person you originally loved who was kind and gentle. You're still in love with someone who never really existed and it will take time to get over this. Be patient, be brave, be kind to yourself, and each evening reward yourself with a little treat. The day will come when you wake up in the morning without this person being the first thing on your mind. I wish you well

Answer 6

You want him because you think that you really love him. The problem is that most people believe that love is an emotion; love is a principal, not an emotion. You are basing your decision on an emotion instead of on sound thoughts.

Use your head and begin to think clearly; leave him and save yourself. Rational thinking should tell you to stay out of a bad situation.

Answer 7

Change is difficult, losing someone is hard to deal with.

when things start to go wrong isn't it better to get it over with now than in twenty years time?

I think you are just feeling a bit lonely at the moment. but you will hurt less every day & then you will meet someone new and feel great again :)

Answer 8

My personal emergency playlist buy these songs or download them:

karma by alicia keys
you gotta be by desree
jump by madonna
lost ones by lauryn hill
sorry by madonna
you live you learn alanis morissette
what you're waiting for by gwen stefani
best of you by foo fighters

Remember he treated you awful... remember how this felt
you deserve better

When you let go of someone you love, it is like a break up.
The inner emotional process is still the same: you want to be
emotionally free.
You want to own your life.
You don't want your desires invested in a man who does not
respond.
You can of course stay in a state of ecstatic admiration for a man
(this is what happens if you worship a pop start) but on the long
term, this might stop you from going on with your life.
Anything which sounds obsessive will hurt you.
It drains your energy and stops you from going on with your life.
You might miss your real opportunities.
This is a battle for emotional survival.
To disinvest, you consciously invest in something else.
It can be your career, friends or other potential dates.
You remove traces of his presence in your life.
You give in other directions.
This is the art of staying emotionally free.
When you touch on emotional freedom, you realize how precious it
is.
Gaining your emotional freedom back is a battle.
You want to own your emotions and simply be master of your life.
Your mind, love and energy are precious.
Dating can be a battle for power, attention and love. The goal is
simple: invest in what has chances to blossom.
If you keep on giving and get nothing in return, you feel depleted,
dependent and miserable on the long term.
This might be the reason the expression falling in love exists.
It does not need to be that way. Love is magical. It is a force,
substance, power or energy.
You want to get the skills to master that energy.
This is the real revolution in your dating life. You were raised to
believe that you need to surrender, give up and abandon yourself to
the love of a man.
This is a nice romantic idea. It works only if he does the same.
In reality, love and romance work better if you stay awake. When
romance builds up you want a strong foundation to secure it. If you
want to enjoy it, you need to play with those energies rather than
being slave of them.
For many women, falling in love has nothing to do with happiness.
Dont you think it s crazy?
You fall for a guy and within a month she
can end entangled in a labyrinth of emotions which drain you in a
self destructive spiral. I see this happening so often! Don't you?
At least half of the dating situations women face have nothing to do
with fun, happiness or pleasure: falling in love often generates fears,
tensions, pain, dependence and much more.
The happiness side of it is of course present but seems to be lost in
these flow of uncontrolled emotions.
The goal is simple: Shift this dynamic
And focus on something else!

On you.

Good luck

Answer 9

It's not really HIM you love and crave, it's the good times. You can have that with plenty of other people who don't treat you like sh$t.

Crap face - by molecule, I think you mean 'chemical'

Answer 10

in time u will find someone better who treats you the way u should be treated as soon as u find that person u will realize that u deserve better and will forget about him