Help, my seven year old has started misbehaving and being irresponsible.?

Question

My daughter has always been serious at school and a good student. But lately she has started acting silly, by dancing around or speaking in silly voices or making faces. She has been misplacing or just forgetting her tickets that they use to buy school lunches, she won't do her work during school and sometimes refuses to come in from recess and she'll tell the playground monitor that she's new to the school and doesn't know where to go. Every time the teacher asks her to do something, she tells the teacher that she's too tired. It's the same way at home, I can ask her to do something over and over and she just won't, then when I try to discipline her or talk things over, she will act goofy and laugh. Nothing I do to discipline her helps. I love that she's more outgoing, she used to be really shy, but it's like she can't balance this new silly part of herself with the part of her that needs to be serious at times. Has anyone else had this happen, how did you handle it?

She also hasn't been bringing her homework home, and she'll say her teacher didn't give it to her. And whenever she loses her lunch tickets, she charges her lunch so now we owe the school money for her charged lunches. She was able to keep up with her lunch tickets all last year and much of this year, so I don't know why she's losing or forgetting them now. Help!

Well of course she's a child, and I do enjoy her, my concern is that she's had such an abrupt peronality change. It's concerning to her teacher as well. I don't think I'm over-reacting, it's normal to be concerned when your child changes so suddenly. And I know that 7 years aren't completely responsible, but they do have responsibilities and up until now she's handled hers very well.

Answer 1

I am having the same problem with my 7 year old daughter. I hope that is just a phase. I have talked to the counselor at the school and he suggested that maybe there is something or someone within the class that has brought this out in my daughter. One of her friends, I find after a little investigation, is a child that is spoiled and she has been grouping with her more often. As it turns out for me, my daughter is trying to test and she if she can run the show like this other child. My child incurred more chores and less activites at home and a session with the counselor. Good luck with your child, you might try looking at if she has recently befriended someone and how they are acting. Unfortunately peers have a big effect on our children.

Answer 2

Are there any reasons for this behavior change (new baby, move, school issues, family issues)? If there are, give her lots of extra love and support. Children sometimes act in these ways when they are being bullied in school. If you think this may be the case, here is a great article on how to deal with children being bullied. http://www.earlychildhoodnews.com/earlyc...

Children who “act silly” in these ways will do so for two reasons: To gain attention, or because they are feeling insecure. It could be that she did this at school (and/or at home) and got a big reaction from someone. If this happened, it probably felt very powerful to her and she is continuing to get more responses. Help her to feel powerful by saying things like “You did that by yourself!” “You used so many colors on your picture!” “You can run super fast!” “Your teacher must be so proud of you!” “You have made so many nice friends!” These intrinsic motivator are much more affective than extrinsic rewards (“Good job!”, reward charts, stickers, treats). They are great ways to boost confidence, great ways to help her feel powerful and great ways to show attention.

Using natural and logical consequence for her other behaviors will work best. For example, if she forgets her lunch ticket, she cannot have lunch. Set it up where she cannot charge the school. I know this is a little harsh but it will only take a couple of times for her forget. Consider her working off your payment by doing some chores around the house. When it comes to forgetting her homework or not doing it is class, the logical consequence is that she cannot go to recess until she completes it. A consequence for her not coming in from recess is that she cannot go out to recess. Speak with her teacher about doing this. Her teacher can tell her “I can’t have you go to recess because I’m worried you won’t come back in.” If your daughter enjoys going out to play, it won’t take long for her to learn that it is much easier to complete her homework and come back to class once recess is over.

Start a daily routine each day for her to do her homework. She can come home, have a snack, and then begin her work. Once she is finished, do something fun together (read her a story, do an art project, have her help with dinner). Be consistent!

Use logical or natural consequences whenever possible when disciplining her at home. Taking away a toy or privileges when your daughter misbehaves is not a logical consequence. Taking away a toy if she throws it or is destructive with it is logical. These are some other examples of logical consequences. If she makes a mess, she cleans it. If she breaks a toy, she puts it in the trash. If she is screaming, she goes to an area where she can scream until she is ready to stop. Let the “punishment” fit the crime.

Something else you can do when she is misbehaving is to say “I don’t like when you (explain what and why in very few words).” Put her in a quiet area away from you (a bedroom, the couch). Tell her “When you are ready to (listen, be gentle, calm down…) then you can come back. This is not a time out because you are not giving her a time limit (you controlling her). She can come back with you when she is ready to control herself. You may have to take her back to the spot a several times before she gets the message that you mean business.

Set limits and follow through! Offer choices, not chances. Pick you battles! You can say “Do you want to do that by yourself or do you want some help?” "No" should mean "No" the first time you say it. Say "Yes" as much as possible. Be patient and consistent.

Hope this helps! Best of luck!

Answer 3

You need to make her understand that it's ok to be silly sometimes, but when it comes to certain times like school, she needs to pay attention. Talk to the school and make sure that she can not credit her lunch. You need to set consequences for when she acts up in school and forgets her homework. Tell her that if she does not do her homework, she will have to use her recess time to make it up, talk to her teacher about that to make sure that is what happens. Take time out for her to relax and be silly, then set a designated time for her to get things done and if she continues to not take things seriously, give her consequences. Have her take time out or take away toys and privileges until she makes up for it. Reward her when she does something right or good, sometimes incentive helps. Try talking to her teachers and counselors to get help and guide you. Best luck.

Answer 4

Well, Incentives always work. Incentive: a prize or anything that gets you going. YOu could have a star chart. Everytimes there is a star, you have done a responsible thing. You can take stars or put stars on the chart. For every 5,10,20 stars, you child gets to do something he/she likes or redeem it for prizes. That might be an idea but I don't know if it works or not.

Answer 5

mmkay so dont listen to anyone.. talk to her and threatin to take away something of her that she really likes or a punishment if she does something bad keep punshing or taking away and put her one a point system or watever if she brings here homework home every night she gets a sticker after so many stickers she get s a treat like ice cream or candy or something like that put if that doesnt work mabey counsling

Answer 6

initially, hitting him will in simple terms convey him extra dislike in direction of you. additionally, in case you have a tendency to tension issues out of him, then of direction the tendency for him is to do what he commonly does. supply him it slow to think of over his misdemeanor so as that he will have the means to locate the sensation of guilt on his own. this could help him strengthen his own judgment of right and incorrect too [think of of the long-term =)]. do no longer continually scowl at him [esp in front of individuals]. Or curse. whilst he's in the incorrect, reason issues out like an grownup so as that he will have the means to work out the muse of his movements. do no longer evaluate him to others [no longer good]. specific, it relatively is wide-spread habit. i became like this whilst i became a newborn [4-8], however the staying power my mothers and fathers shown had touched my little coronary heart. Now i'm extra to blame, respectful, and genuine looking. luv, x_musicbabe23

Answer 7

She's seven. Completely normal. Just keep up with the discipline and you both WILL get through it.

Answer 8

She's just going through a phase. It should be over by the time she is 21. Sob

Answer 9

put the smack-down on her. (not literaly) but just law down the law. scair her with facts about what happens if you dont take school seriously.you cant cave into them.

Answer 10

oh,hello-its called being a CHILD-u know,child,those little people who act silly and irresponsible BECAUSE THEY ARENT LITTLE GROWN UPS ???? cut the kid some slack!do u actually know ANY "responsible" 7 year olds?were U? enjoy her silly,joyful phase.it will be gone soon,and u will miss it.she's only a child once,let her be.seems to me too many people expect their children to be mini-adults,quiet,stationary and ,sober,industrious,no fantasy or fun or silliness,just all-work,no play.dont stress her,ENJOY her-the wonder and innocence will go fast enough.and thats sad!childhood is full of pressure now!