for many years and she is very close with our family. we love her very much. for christmas, i am framing some of my mom's drawings for my two brothers.(she was quite good). my father mentioned to me that he would like to have one of her drawings as well. is it appropriate to give one of them to my dad for christmas? i have a wonderful drawing of a sea captain my mom drew that i know he would love. should i wait for another time? and if i do give it as a christmas gift, should i tell his wife what to expect ? i don't want her to feel out of place or that we don't care for her. it's just that my mom was one in a million(ok maybe i'm biased) and we still miss her very much.i have all of her drawings and i really want to share them with my family and i'm babbling. well, you get the point. what do you all think?
2006-12-16 10:12:33 · 12 answers · asked by racer 51 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
my dads wife was also a friend of my mom's. she has never given me any reason to think she would be upset by this. perhaps i am just overthinking
2006-12-16 10:27:04 · update #1
To the infinite surprise of us children, parents who are widowers actually do speak with their new partners! I am astounded, but it's true.
You are showing tremendous maturity and insight. Bless you. Your dad has given you the signal that he would like a p icture. Great - step 2 ask the woman if she would prefer you give it to him at a different time than Christmas. She needs to make her own impact on that day.
2006-12-16 10:17:35 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Katie, I so know how you mother feels, and for that reason? Understand she's not ready to talk...maybe will someday, so you need to get your feelings out through a good grief counselor and believe me, there are some wonderful ones (as I know firsthand myself...) Grief is a different journey for each of us...No two people grieve quite alike Katie...And just because someone gives the appearances of forging on with a smile on their face? Hardly equates to what they may be feeling inside...We humans like to "hide" not bother people with our deepest hurts and troubles...Does that make sense to you? I'm so sorry you lost your Dad honey, I truly am. I was a "Daddy's girl" too and even though far older than you when he died? I cried like a baby for a couple of years after...No kidding. How could I not miss the guy who thought I could do no wrong and took every opportunity to tell me he loved me unconditionally? He was a real sweetheart... I hope you will find a counselor to talk to about your Dad, unless you have an Aunt or Uncle you feel more comfortable talking to and would be willing to do so. You need someone to talk to about this Katie and I hope you find someone soon. God Bless honey... Grace
2016-03-28 21:32:24 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you know your father would appreciate the giftb then give it to him. Your father was very much in love with your mother and just because she passed doesn't mean that any of that love has diminished. The woman he is currently dating is well aware of this. If she isn't then there are other concerns to be worried about. All that any of you have left are the memories and in no way should that undermine your fathers new relationship,if this woman loved him and is a family friend she would understand.
2006-12-16 10:19:13 · answer #3 · answered by MZOrr 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you should go to her and say hey dad said he would like one of therse a long time ago , but I was not ready to part with it then , I am now. do you think it would be ok as a christmas gift? and see how she reacts, it takes the blame off everyone and you know before xmas if it will cause an issue. if it will give it at another time. but if you all have a good relationship it should be ok
Merry Christmas to you.
2006-12-16 10:17:18 · answer #4 · answered by loveamouse7767 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey,
This is not inappropriate, as a matter of fact it is very appropriate. Your father loved your mother and it is a part of his life and always will be. This woman must love him and I `m sure she understands about his feelings for your mother
And I`m sure you loved your mother and you and your siblings would miss her very much. Share your memories when you can and you might be very surprised that this woman may be interested in hearing what your life and your father life were like.
GOD BLESS YOU ALL
2006-12-16 10:22:13 · answer #5 · answered by mammafran77 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is absolutely nothing wrong with giving your father this gift. If your stepmother is unselfish and sensitive to yoru family's circumstances, than she will accept the gift graciously. Has her past behavior/attitude given you any indication that she would react negatively toward this gesture? If so, when you do give your dad this gift, make sure that everyone knows that it is for him and not for him and his new wife. Good luck!
2006-12-16 10:16:45 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
He asked for one so I don't think there will be a problem. I wouldn't worry about it. Just find a thoughtful gift for her and all should be good.
I think it's very thoughtful and it's okay after all if it was her she would want him to still think of her right?
2006-12-16 10:16:52 · answer #7 · answered by Proud to be APBT 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Give it to him. It's fine. Even if his wife is upset (and i don't think she will be) she'll probably get over it.
2006-12-16 10:52:33 · answer #8 · answered by dragon_girl441 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He had a good marriage so he wants another one. Thats probably a good sign.
2006-12-16 10:15:46 · answer #9 · answered by hoverlover7 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Sounds sweet don't worry just do it.
2006-12-16 10:16:23 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋