Is 4-1/2 too old for temper tantrums?

Question

My son has just started having tantrums and I'm SO frustrated. He's 4-1/2 and has never done this before. I'm a stay at home mom, so he gets all my attention during the day, but it never seems like enough! I've tried everything - time outs, rewarding good behavior, ignoring bad behavior, spending MORE time with him, giving him more time to play by himself - but I think I've finally reached the end of my rope. I can't take him anywhere without having a major tantrum on my hands, and I hate to say it, but tantrums are embarrasing. I'm 2-1/2 months pregnant, so I know that's compounding MY emotions, but could it also have something to do with the newly begun tantrums from my son? He knows about the new baby. Either way, how can I get my well behaved, even tempered child back? What should I do when he throws a tantrum? Experts say ignore it, but that's hard to do when we're out of the house. Any help would make my day.

Answer 1

Temper tantrums, which are voluntary, occur because they work. Some disturbance in your relationship, which has not been in accordance with the desires of your child, has resulted in them and, apparently, the tantrums have worked so far, so they will continue.

There are even adults who exhibit the same behavior since it has always worked for them.

It is up to you to determine what the root cause is of the change. But, the solution, once the problem is understood, has to be the same. If there is no reward for that behavior (or if there is a negative reward) it will stop once the child has recognized that. It may take some time and it may be unpleasant, but something has to be undone, and that is never easy..

People are that way, whether they ar 4-1/2 or 41 1/2.

Answer 2

I hate it when people say ignore it that is nothing to ignore I am a stay at home mom also and I have a 4 yr old even though she does not throw tantrums any more I used to put her in the naughty corner and when she got the corner I would tell her instead of throwing the tantrum and going in the corner she should tell me whats wrong or pray about it or if she doesn't get her way just accept it. It took awhile but she got tired of sitting in that corner But in my opinion I don't think you should ignore that

Answer 3

temper tantrums are done for attention.

when i go out shopping - if the kid throws a temper tantrum i used to just walk away and hide around the corner, i know where my child is but my child doesnt know where i am, alsmot straght away my kid stoped doing it and got off the floor and started looking for his mum and dad.

at home - same theory i take him to his room and dump him in their. every time he did it, no warnings, no nothing,

my kids never threw a temper tantrum after the age of about 3. why? because they didnt get any attention and never got their way

Answer 4

He needs to mix with other children now. He thinks, as the saying goes, that the sun shines out of his backside. It is especially important now you are pregnant. he must learn how to share.

When he throws a tantrum, just walk away, no matter where you are. (Obviously, keep an eye on him if you are out, but hide)

Answer 5

I suggest that when yo hae to go out and he doesn't HAVE to be with you leave him with a sitter. That's how I did it when my daughter acted up. For six months I went shopping without her, went to the movies without her etc. As a very social child this was extremely hard on her and she finally learned her lesson. After that she was a joy to have long on mall trips etc. If it were me as soon as a trantrum reared it's ugly head I'd march him right to the car, take him home find someone to watch him and go right back.

Answer 6

If I was home, I'd ignore him unless it got destructive. If I was out in public I'd take him out to the car and spank him good.