how do i cope with losing my mother from cancer in less then a week?

Question

i foun outmy mother had pancreotic cancer when the doctors operated on her and about a week after that i lost her

Answer 1

You cope by accepting the fact that the pain of grief is something you need to experience. Whenever we lose something or someone we love and have come to rely on, we're forced to change something in ourselves. And that's not easy. It's usually very difficult.

With your mom gone, much has changed for you. The way you see yourself, and even your place in the world. Your relationships may change, your role in your family may change... and of course, you want to reach out for the unconditional love, support and encouragement that your mom has always given you... but is now no longer there, except in memory.

Through your grief, you will eventually focus on what your mom left you... the emotional foundation she helped instill in you, the wisdom she shared with you so that your life might be better, and the love she had for you...helping you to love yourself and to see your own value.

You'll never stop missing her, but the pain you now feel will slowly be replaced by gratitude for all she was to you, and if you believe that we're eternal... you'll look forward to the day you will see her again.

Some things we have to go through alone. People can try to comfort us, to help us deal with our loss... but sometimes, no matter how much others care about us, we simply have to walk through the fire. And as painful as that is, that is where we truly grow and become what we can be.

My sincere condolances for your loss. I know how hard this is for you, but you'll make it. I promise you, you'll make it.

Answer 2

Grief is always a difficult process, and never more so than when it comes so suddenly. Nearly a year ago my grandma passed away just two weeks after a stomach cancer diagnosis; needless to say my entire family is still in varying degrees of shock. An important thing to do is to indulge your feelings; nobody's begrudging you a good cry, least of all the people who care about you. Given that this is your mother, you've likely had a bit of a burden putting her affairs in order; if anybody offers you help of any sort, don't be too proud to take them up on it. The coming year will be filled with difficult "firsts" such as first birthday without her, first Christmas, etc. Know that that's coming and will be hard, and prepare as you see fit. Most of all, whatever your belief system is, it will be of immense help right now. Whether it's religion or a more abstract sense of the way that the universe works, if there's any framework in which you can make sense of it all, that will be a huge source of peace for you and will help you find a "new normal" whatever that may end up being. Deepest condolences to you and yours, and best of luck in the healing process.

Answer 3

Well, let me give you my condolences. I understand what it feels like to lose a parent to illness. I lost my father 2 years ago. From experience, I can tell you that the first year is going to be the hardest. You are going to feel really bad around the holidays and birthdays, etc. However, with time, you will replace the void with vivid memories of your mother. I believe that there is no such thing as getting over death, you will only move on from it. Use this trial in your life to make you a stronger person. Live the way your mother would have wanted you to. And if you need an ear, or eyes, email me. [e-mail]

Answer 4

That is very hard. The grief will seem unbearable because you have so much to cope with, but eventually you will come through it. Don't expect too much of yourself. Do alot of crying, don't bottle it up. Spoil yourself for a while. Pray often. I believe God does comfort those who mourn. Spend time with close family members and friends who you really trust. Don't wallow too much though, cos you will need to get some strenght too. Find a support group if necessary,talk to nurses etc from hospital or your Doctor but also spend a bit of time alone to really get through the process.You will learn to cope, even if it takes a while. Take it in your own time. Forgive people who don't understand what you are going through. Hope that helps somehow.

Answer 5

You shouldn't move too fast twith coping with the pain. Dwell on it for a day or two. Spend a few days with family and friends. Don't hold back tears or emotions. Breathe when ever you feel you are in a place where you feel it inappropriate to cry. Do thinks that are fun or that could keep your mind off it. After that, don't greive for her death, but celebrate for her life! Life is a never ending celebration... and it doesn't end after death. Take a deep breath. This may be a turning point for you.

Answer 6

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. It is always hard to lose a loved one, but it is worse when it is to something as horrible as cancer. It will be hard to cope with, I have lost family and friends both to cancer. Just make sure that you have a strong network of family and/or firends that you can vent to, and that will be there to support you. It will take time to heal the heartbreak, but I hope that you will be allright. I will say a prayer for you, and send lots of good thoughts your way. Best of luck to you!

Answer 7

It's difficult to lose a loved one...I lost my dad in about 2 weeks. Cancer is a hard way to go, but it can also be very painful for the patient and the family! Though it's hard to come to grips with, that in itself may be a blessing...Keep faith that life will go on!! I'll pray for you and your family for this loss.

Answer 8

keep on praying. say how much you love her. we all die one day thank god that she didn't suffer. so think it's good what happened without she suffering from any thing. I'm so sorry. i lost my aunt 1 month back from a cancer she suffered for 9 years. and before she died she couldn't had a one full meal. she starved for about 2 years. so be happy for your mum. god bless

Answer 9

you should try to get distracted from thinking of her death and go on with life

Answer 10

You could try grief counseling.