My mom surrounds herself with clutter, has 8 cats, has a mean negative attitude, and doesnt trust anyone. A friend of mine told me
I was turning into my mom. It hurt me, opened my eyes to try to change, and want to know if
i can escape the route of my mom or am i doomed forever?
2006-12-16 07:21:20 · 12 answers · asked by Yak-Yak 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
humm almost sounds like my mother growing up, except for the cat thing, she never liked almost any of the cats I brought home.
Anyways YES you can change. What you need to do is learn from your mothers mistakes. Always do your best to look on the bright side and find something good about everyone, even your mother. That’s not to say you wont end up a little like your mother because eventually you will, but it's up to you to decide what parts of her to take after and what parts to run away from.
For instants as a when I was a child my mother went from one abusive relationship to another and most likely back again. If she meet a decent man who treated her right then she would dump him, claming her would dump her eventually anyways. And as my mother did this I learned what type of man I wanted, and how to keep him. I also learned the warning signs to look for that a man might be abusive, and how to get away from men like that (i.e. run like hell and have my daddy take care of it, and not look back ever)
And as for my mothers negative attitude, well I have learned not to dwell on the negative stuff of the day. I look back in my mind almost everyday and I find something good about it. No matter how small of a thing it might of been and the bad stuff, I just let it go. It's in the past why dwell on it any more then you had to?
As for the trust, that’s something you need to learn how to do. What I do is I start out trusting people, then if they mess up, it's up to them to gain my trust back, and that is very hard to do. I believe people earn respect and trust. But you still have to when to forgive a person when they mess up, were all human and we all make mistakes.
2006-12-16 08:10:54 · answer #1 · answered by Danielle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do what you feel is right for you, what is true to your heart. You don't have to be negative, or cluttered like your Mom. It will be all in how you look at the world, and how you carry yourself. But don't change for anyone else. You'll likely fail to make a lasting effort. If you choose to change for yourself, and only for yourself, because of your happiness, it will be so much more meaningful and you will succeed.
2006-12-16 07:40:54 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can develop up even as nonetheless being mama's little woman as good. Maybe she's unhappy that quickly you will not want her as so much anymore. Next time you each have a unfastened day, plan to do whatever a laugh in combination. Make her a side of your new grown up lifestyles, she'll consider extra wanted. Also you'll speak to her approximately the way you consider, and the way she feels. Communication is major as this time.
2016-09-03 17:37:47 · answer #3 · answered by swindell 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't have to be like your mom. Only you can determine not to be. BUT certainly she has good traits also. Have those traits.
I'm sure there are things that have made her negative and doesn't trust anyone. Doesn;t mean that's the right response she should have. But try to understand her, maybe she has gone through many painful situations when she was younger.
2006-12-16 07:44:58 · answer #4 · answered by bogey 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sure, become very organized, don't own any pets. Be an honest good friend, meet people and grow to have a good self image. Be confident in yourself. Complete all of your goals you set for yourself. You will not become your mother.
2006-12-16 07:37:54 · answer #5 · answered by ricepat2000 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i know exactly what you are saying. the one person i didn't want to be like was my mom. i love her but would never want to be anything like her. i guess i just knew what she did while us kids were growing up was wrong and didn't want my kids to go through the same. i am the complete opposite of my mom, thank goodness. i had to do alot of chores and when my sister came along she never had to do anything, not even make her own bed or clean her room and guess what? she grew up to be a bad mom and is alot like my mom, so i guess even though it was put on me alot, it was for the better. you already know that you don't want to be like your mom so you're headed in the right direction.
2006-12-16 07:56:52 · answer #6 · answered by inluvwithb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We all have a choice how we want to live. Some grw up like their parents because they are brought up with them and dont know any better.... but your situation is different... you DONT want to be that way so you can make different choices. Just think twice before you do things.... and wat good is it if you look at everything nagatively and dont trust anyone? If you noticed it on your mother then i reckon you'll be safe hehe. tc
2006-12-16 09:57:41 · answer #7 · answered by cleo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you already know that you don't want to be like her - that's half the battle. just say to yourself - and mean it - i will never be like her. it's a conscientious decision that you make to yourself, and trust me, it can work. but YOU are the only one that can make it work for yourself. good luck.
2006-12-16 09:15:29 · answer #8 · answered by try 2 help 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are not your mom, you are yourself, and you make your own choices. Don't make excuses, just set your own course.
2006-12-16 07:34:22 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, don't panic. Now that you know, you'll be fine.
2006-12-16 08:31:11 · answer #10 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋