I have extremely low self esteem...?

Question

I am 14 and i weigh 160 pounds. I hear my friends calling themselves fat when they weigh 115, then they get mad at me when I call myself fat. I wake up and feel really good about myself thinking most people wont care but then farther in the day I will see guys talking to skinny, beautiful girls flirting and most of those guys never even look at me. I have the best friends in the world, and I have a billion of them. But my issue is guy never talk to me. By the time I get on the bus after school to go home I am close to tears because I feel so bad for myself. I try to diet and I am even a member of curves, and try to loose weight but I can't, so by the time I leave curves I am usually in tears. And by the time I get in bed I am just feel like jumping off a building... is there any way I can make my self esteem higher?

Hi! Thanks everyone for your help, I had a horrible day today, I got a detention for forgeting my calculater and my email didn't go through to my teacher so the powerpoint for english was totally gone. Also on the bus today a mean little boy said to his friends I weigh 300 lbs so I seriously thought about becoming anerexic (not that way though!) but this changes my mind. Thanks guys

Answer 1

Since your main problem seems to be losing weight, I would work with that first. Go to your school counselor, talk to him/her about it. Get your parents involved, let them know what you are going through. Whatever you do, don't turn to rec. drugs for help. They will just make your self-esteem lower. Keep going to curves, share your story with other people that have similar problems.

Answer 2

okay WHAT do you eat? Do not diet, change your eating habits. Do not drink a lot of soft drinks, drink mostly water. You want to stay away from things with a lot of sugar i.e. fruit juice. Eat an apple instead or cantaloupe or black berries, blue berries, raspberries. Eat nuts, not a lot but some like almonds or macademias they have a lot of protein. Do you eat fast food, limit that. Maybe once a week or if you can never. Eat mostly white meats like baked, broiled chicken breast, fish (salmon), seafood, turkey, etc. Do not eat a lot of bread maybe one piece a week or high quality wheat. Eat a lot of veggies, green leafy veggies, cucumbers, tomatoes. Carrots and corn have more sugar than other veggies limit those. Mostly eat veggies and protein (mentioned above). Stay away from pastas, potatoes, you know carbs. You will definately lose weight . OH and exercise, losing weight do more cardio (like running) 45 minutes at least 3x a week. Or join some school activity that has a lot of physical work involved. Take a multi-vitamin daily.

I hope this works.

Read books on losing weight or eating healthy. The more knowledge you have the better.

Answer 3

You will probaly have to get into counsling.Your self-esteem is real low and your going to need professional help.I know you dont want to hear that your only 14 and you shouldnt be even worrying about boys right now. That all you should be worried about is school, getting a good education. I just know you dont want to hear that crap. So the only thing I can tell you sweetie is keep your head up and I promise you better days are coming and hon please try to talk to somebody in the professional field. Or talk to somebody that will love you until you can love yourself.Take care hon, I will be praying for you!!

Answer 4

You have to believe in yourself. You need to start telling yourself all the positive things that you have to offer, and quit dwelling on the negatives. You can't care about what others think.

Also, since you mention that you have "body issues", you might want to learn the best way to dress your body type. A lot can be overcome by dressing yourself in clothes that are flattering to your body shape, and not just wearing the latest fad. Not every style is for every body type. When you know that you look your best, that should help with your self esteem too.

Answer 5

Have you been bullied in the past of people making fun of you and trying to lower your self esteem to give them power over you by belittling you? People will like you and people won't like you and that's just the way it is! If you're an asshole and you judge people and you're just a plain ol douche bag ain't no one going to respect you. Actually everyone's talking **** behind their back!! While everyone's making fun of you or making you lose confidence in the way you're, you're forgeting that no one likes cruel and mean spirit people. And that's just the way it is! Who cares what you say, and is it something rude or is it something kind that you're saying to people! Why feel self conscious about the way you talk and how other people treat you. You treat others the way you would want to be treated! You treat people like ****, you're going to be treated like ****! You provoke a fight, well sooner or later someone is going to sock you and show you what it feels like to treat people like dirt. **** the haters! **** the superifical assholes! Who the **** are they to judge on you when they're the ones who are ackward and boring and a ****** loser to touch that off. Talk to people who are kind hearted and not clicky losers! I'm going to tell you this right now your social skills and your morals and ethics is how people judge you by character. If you're a ****** arrogant pompous loser who goes around talking **** and provoking a fight and wanting attention, you will get teased pretty ****** hard and it will back fire all at once... and be insulted and humilated by thousands of people to make one realize that MOdesty is the best policy. People think.. oh nothing bad is going to happen to me and **** god! But really.. don't be decieved for every action you make there's a consequence for it! Just ignore them, be confident and stop being around people who have way worse low self esteem then you. Find people who are confident and happy and enjoy life and are good people, when you're around good people you'll start to fee good about yourself and not caring about other people putting you down.

Answer 6

It's nice to love yourself with no effort, but most folks have high self-esteem as a consequence of their efforts and skills.

I think you have two choices that are interlinking or not mutually exclusive. First, develop something about yourself of interest: sports, music, arts, academics, or whatever. Second, continue to watch your weight (Weight Watchers is effective). You don't have to be skinny, but be honest with yourself about what you consider to be inner and outer beauty, and get to work.

Answer 7

Your not too bad. My daughter is 13 and 190. She is tall and big, always has been. She has a great attitude about it and she feels beautiful, which in turn radiates as beauty. She has lots of friends and people seem to look past her size and see her for what she is. Be happy, friendly, and nice, and your beauty will shine thru

Answer 8

hello ! frist of all that is good that you have good friends .I'm glad that your friends are Not putting you down. It's hard when guys don't talk to you but you are still young and you shouldn't worry about any guys . I had low self esteem too. But i thought to myself that if people don't like the way you look then they have the problem NOT YOU . So don't let any one put you down . I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK GOD BLESS !!!! P/S KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 9

YOU HAVE TO LEARN TO LOVE YOURSELF! WEIGHT IS NOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THE WORLD, ALTHOUGH ALL THE MAGAZINES AND OTHER MEDIA TRY TO CONVINCE US IN THE OPPOSITE. YOU WILL ALWAYS MEET GIRLS THAT CALL THEMSELVES FAT AT 115 POUNDS EVEN LESS. BELIEVE ME, THEY DO IT JUST TO SHOW OFF HOW SLIM THEY REALLY ARE! LOVE YOUR BODY THE WAY IT IS, ONLY THEN YOU WILL REALLY START LOSING THE EXTRA WEIGHT. AND ANOTHER THING- YOU ARE ONLY 14!!! YOUR BODY IS STILL DEVELOPING! THE BEST WAY TO LOSE WEIGHT IS TO CHANGE YOUR EATING HABBITS! KNOWING THAT YOU ARE DOING SOMETHING TO ACHEIVE YOUR GOALS WILL DEFINITELY MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER! DON'T TORTURE YOURSELF BY COMPARING WITH OTHER GIRLS. YOU ARE UNIQUE IN YOUR OWN WAY! BOYS AREN'T THE MOST IMPORTANT THING! YOU WILL HAVE PLENTY OF TIME FOR THEM AND TRUST E, SOON THEY WILL ONLY REGRET THAT THEY DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION TO YOU!

Answer 10

Hun, just change your eating habits. that is what my mom has done. Now me on the other hand I feel too skinny. I understand about the low self esteem I have it too. If you ever need to talk just look me up. God Bless!