I work 7pm to 730 am in the morning. I get off and come home to go to sleep. I have three children ages 9, 8, and 2. My boyfriend and I have been together 7 years and the two year old is the child we share togethe. It seems as though every time I go to sleep he finds some reason to leave the house and leave the kids at home unattended. I woke up my kids were doing everything under the sun they should not be doing. Apparently according to my 9 y.o he has been gone now for about 4 hours. I have spoke to him about his behavior and he is still doing this. Isn't this neglect on his part? My boyfrined I am sure is playing playstation or at his sisters house he goes to today daily,but never the less, it is still wrong to leave the children home starving and unattended while I am asleep. What can I do to break him from this behavior ?
2006-12-16 05:44:05 · 8 answers · asked by nene 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
It is neglect.. AND stupid.. and here's the kicker sister.. if one of the kids gets hurt while he's gone and you're sleeping, they're gonna charge YOU too!!!! Sounds like a lazy loser.... don't risk losing your kids, dump him instead.
2006-12-16 05:46:53 · answer #1 · answered by maccrew6 6 · 4⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you seem to have several problems that need to be addressed:
1. Your work schedule (7pm - 7am) is not "family friendly" especially in a family like yours where it sounds like only one adult is in the picture. I don't know what line of work you're in, but this needs to be looked at closely. Who keeps your children in the evenings, your boyfriend? The same boyfriend who leaves them during the day? I'd hazard a guess and say he has no qualms about leaving them unattended at night, either, whether you know it or not.
2. You do not have appropriate, mature, safe, dependable, sane childcare for your children.
3. Your "boyfriend" sounds unbearably immature. Even your language, "What can I do to break him from this behavior" sounds like words used on a child or a puppy. Why are you involved with a man that is so reckless he's endangering your children? Why have you done that for 7 years? You need to look at this relationship immediately and take immediate steps to end it or get professional help for it to improve it because whatever unhealthy patterns the two of you have set-up (along with not having a legal commitment) will take a professional to help correct.
Yes, it IS neglect, reckless endangerment and a whole host of other things which are all considered criminal behavior in every state. And yes, YOU will be implicated as a participant in this activity by allowing it to happen. If you have to quit your job and find another, kick out the boyfriend and change all the locks, hire an attorney to take care of the legalities and move away, you need to do whatever it is that you need to do to protect and nurture those kids and be their mother first and foremost.
Your children did not ask to be here. Not one of them has the cognitive reasoning ability to be self-sufficient for even a few hours and you are foolishly and wantonly exposing them to all sorts of dangers that will have negative and permanent implications not to mention what it's doing to them psychologically as they grow up learning no one cares enough to really be there (and be conscious) with them while they're growing up, just taking care of their most basic needs like changing diapers and getting them lunch. Two parents in my state chose to take oh, 45 minutes, an hour maybe, to have sex in their own home while their 2 and 3 year old children were able to unlock the door and wander off in broad daylight. Those two children were found drowned in a nearby pond a few hours later and those two parents are now in jail...for a very long time.
The fact is, when you have children, their needs must come first -especially when they're as young as yours are- over all others needs, including your adult need for companionship, period. Be their mother or call DFCS to pick them up and give them to someone else to raise while your boyfriend plays games and you turn a blind eye to it. Either that, or risk one of them being seriously injured, killed or worse, and you go to jail for it.
2006-12-16 19:46:31 · answer #2 · answered by Befa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that's neglect. And if you allow it to go on, you're neglecting the kids too.
The boyfriend sounds like an immature idiot who obviously cares nothing for you or your children. Get rid of him and get a qualified babysitter.
2006-12-16 14:12:15 · answer #3 · answered by alwayslarat 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has no legal responsibility for any of the kids except for the 2 year old. If it is neglect on his part, it is also neglect on your part. Sounds like you need to get a different boyfriend, and stop having babies with deadbeats.
2006-12-16 13:52:50 · answer #4 · answered by Sordenhiemer 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would be pissed as hell! You need to put your foot down or get rid of him for the sake of your children. Yes, it is neglect and now that you know about it, if something were to happen (God Forbid!) you would be just as resposible.
He sounds like a childish jerk.
2006-12-16 14:02:56 · answer #5 · answered by zinntwinnies 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
What???Your bf plays PlayStation when you work? Whats wrong with you? Consult a psychologist and get a guy who has a job.
2006-12-16 14:01:11 · answer #6 · answered by ashwin_hariharan 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No it's neglect on YOUR part. They are YOUR children. Why can't you stay awake and take care of them while your boyfriend does his running around?
2006-12-16 17:45:24 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
dumping him might not be solution, try fixing the problem instead.talk to him about it and make sure he knows your'e serious.better yet, just read what "befa" wrote, that answer really is the best answer, i just have the short version.
2006-12-16 13:54:11 · answer #8 · answered by jim0007766 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋