if you were in a committed relationship would you involve someone else?

Question

what i mean by this is would you ever have a threesome or something like that if you and your partner were in a relationship...what if he wanted to and you weren't sure if you wanted to...would you do it for him??? do you really know if a threesome is a good idea until after you've done it??? what do you do if you regret it???

Answer 1

I personally think that it takes two to have a relationship, not three.

Do not let your boyfriend or fiance influence your thoughts. If you do not want a threesome, don't do it. Any guy suggesting a threesome, just wants to play around. He is not taking his 'committed' relationship seriously. Move on.

Answer 2

My wife and I have been swinging for several years (yes, a threesome is technically "swinging") and we've had a great time at it, as well as it has brought us even closer together than we were when we started.

When we started swinging (threesomes and couples) we already had a great relationship and great sex together. That is why we could successfully swing. We started to fulfill fantasies that required more than two people to do. Since we are both very secure in ourselves and each other, bringing others into our relationship is not a threat to us and neigher of us are jealous. We know that we are "it" for each other and everything else is just additional fun.

Basically, it is additional sex, not replacement sex.

But, everybody is different. If you are not the jealous sort and the idea of being with another (male or female) and your partner at the same time is a huge turn-on, than swinging may be okay for you. If you are the jealous sort, than it isn't.

The thing here is that like skydiving, it's not for everyone. Some people can do it, others are terrified of it. And that's okay. That's what makes the world go around.

The way to make sure that you don't regret it is to talk it through thoroughly with your partner BEFORE you do it. Talk, talk, and then talk some more. Try to cover all your fears and worries as well as what about it is a turn-on, and how you will handle any issues that come up afterward. If your pre-swing communication is good than you probably will have little if no issues at all.

Communication is key. Make sure you are both on the same page about it. Set ground rules with dealing with others, such as what is okay before and after with them, and what acts in the bedroom you are both okay with.

As long as you plan it out ahead of time and set these rules, and abide by them, than everything will work great. If not, expect problems.

Guaranteed those that say they've tried it and it ruined their relationship did not do exactly what I outlined above. They dove in and then tried to learn to swim, when they should have just waded into the shallow end.

For good, objective information on swinging and threesomes check-out The Swingers Board (link below).

Answer 3

If you are both 100% sure that its something that you both want to do then great but if either of you have any doubts then it might turn into jealously later on. If you are not 100% sure then dont do it. I would also make sure that this 3rd person wouldnt become attached to your man because then that would cause problems. Maybe if yall chose another couple that way they are commited to each other and not interested in coming between you and your bf.

Answer 4

You never know that a threesome is a good idea until after. I had one with my ex and this girl, "heather." Heather and the two of us were friends, and we all got drunk one night and ended up in bed together. I made my ex promise not to see her if i wasnt around, it was weird. He broke that promise and cheated on me. not a good idea, run from threesomes...

Answer 5

For to have 3some,or 4some,whatever number of people are going to have sex together,is better to be single.Single you can do whatever you want.3some only make women and men make the relationship in a prostitution.After 3some many women became prostitutes,mean they start to sleep with whatever man they want,and men do the same.But all is up to you.I respect your thinking,but that is what happen in real relationships,which practise 3some.After those 3some couples,look for swingers clubs,and the relationship never is only a man and a woman again.Good question.

Answer 6

My ex-partner and i were involved in an open relationship but it caused nothing but trouble which caused many arguments, with hindsight i wouldn't have got into it, if you are in a commited relationship that should be enough.

Answer 7

unless there is a camera involved dont do it. 3 somes 4 somes ect can be great fun! but on film as long as you are on show its only reasonable everybody else is on show. that means if mr x is filming everybody else, nobody is going to see him on film dont give him or mrs x the chance! bring your own camera. always in so called swingers parties there is allways somebody with a hidden camera or mobile phone with video function. protect yourself and your partner by not taking part.

Answer 8

really not a good idea, it causes lots of problems for people. People go through fazes but regret things later.
What if u get jelous cause he's paying her more attention than u, u'll want to slap the biaaaaaach!!!!

Answer 9

If you want a threesome go for it. Its every guys fantasy and worth it for them to put it into action. If you have any doubts at all - don't do it. If in doubt - don't.

Answer 10

i personally wouldn't . I would be too jealous and couldn't even think of doing that. it really depends on the couple.. some people are into that kind of thing, some are not, its really not up to someone else.. everyone has different opinions