OK here it is exactly 1 year ago my ex and i had an abortion. She knew that i didnt want to have the abortion and own up t what has happened. And yea i wanted to marry her. But she decided to do it any. Her reason later for doing it was that she was almost molested and didnt want that to happen to her child. (personally i feel that, that was a selfish reason). But now i have one with someone else that she is due any day now. The thing is i am finding it really hard to have the same love for this child like i did for the other child. And the emotional strain of what happens becomes more evident the closer to delevery that we get to. I talked to her and she said that she would keep the child of her boyfreind if she got pregnant. But she barely knows him compared to me when we were together all 4 years of college. And i dont want her to get rid of it if she does. I just want to be there for my child but i feel as if this situation is holding me back. i want to be there for my child & cant
2006-12-16 02:51:15 · 3 answers · asked by silk1819 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
So if I understand this right you are having a baby with your new girlfriend. First of all congratulations. All babies are blessings. second of all you need to grieve for the baby you lost and deal with all the feelings you still have for your ex. You haven't emotionally moved past that relationship yet. The baby that was aborted probably wasn't meant to be. But you still need to mourn for her/him because he was very real to you. Once you see your new baby, you will love him/her and you will be a great dad. You probably can't attach feelings to this baby yet, just in case. Wait until you see that precious bundle of joy for the first time. Your whole life changes in that moment.
Good Luck.
2006-12-16 03:04:31 · answer #1 · answered by beanietara 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm so sorry for your loss.
Try a little counseling; it should help. Men suffer immensely from abortion. My husband's exwife aborted one of their babies and he still deals with sadness (this was over 20 years ago) and I was forced into an abortion 30 years ago and still have some pain. It's much better than it was in the beginning and it didn't keep me from loving my children. As a matter of fact, I may appreciate them more because of it.
I still miss the one I never got to know.
I'm sure you will be available to your child and will love and cherish him/her with all your heart.
2006-12-16 02:57:50 · answer #2 · answered by Faith 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best answer for that, is to pray about it. I don't know if you believe in God or not but if you do ask him to take that from your heart and mind. And if you don't believe in God then you should know that this is a different child, it has nothing to do with the child that was aborted, you got to let it go. Good Luck
2006-12-16 03:25:39 · answer #3 · answered by Jazz21 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋