hi all, i am due soon to marry a gal i have been with about 2 months. she is a nice lass,although she has been telling me things from her past (like she has cheated almost on everyone she has been involved with) and that due to bad experences in her past she dosent trust anyone (including me) but she says she loves me and wants to marry.
Now on top of this a gal i got close to prior to meeting her (although nothing ever happened between us) is telling me she wants me and i shouldnt marry.my head is in bits what should i do?
2006-12-16 01:43:46 · 23 answers · asked by No name :) 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I am that girl, really. I had quite a past, cheated, didn't trust etc. I told my husband all about it and guess what?...We are now married and happy as you can be. I told him the truth, which is what she is telling you, she may not seem to trust you but you don't share that stuff with someone you don't trust.
She probably has some self esteem issues and is kind of testing you to see if you are really in it for the long haul. She has been honest with you. Things that went on before you are just that, the past. I would never even think of cheating on my husband, although my history might have told him differently.
Two months is too short of a time to date before you marry.period. no question on that. and....if you are thinking about another girl, not good for the start of a marriage. Take some time for yourself to think about what YOU want, but don't hold a girls past against her, esp. if she has been honest enough to come clean, after all, she didn't have to tell you anything....
You just are not ready to marry yet...take some time. good luck.
2006-12-16 01:59:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
You've only been with the girl for 2 months and she says she wants to marry. Think. You should be with someone for at least a year before even considering it. At the moment you are feeling is the flames of passion. Which will eventually wear off. It's only then that you can start to find out whether you can live with someone. Also the very fact that you are considering this other girl is a sure indication that you are not prepared to marry.
So considering the form of your girlfriend and the fact that you obviously are considering entering into a different relationship, you should finish with your girlfriend and carry on being a bachelor. If you feel you want to link up with the second girl then by all means go for it. But you are definitely not ready to marry yet.
2006-12-16 01:58:07 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
2 months and you're marrying - that causes me concern to begin with. Secondly, she can't trust you - this is not going to be an easy marriage for you. If you don't have trust, it's going to be really hard to make a relationship work. You need to look at that situation and give it some serious thought before you stand at the end of that aisle.
As for the other girl, I would leave it alone for now until you have the other relationship sorted out. Once that is clear in your head, than figure out how you feel about this second girl and go from there.
Good luck
2006-12-16 14:55:03 · answer #3 · answered by Patricia D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
2 monthes is not long enough to know someone well enough to marry. marriage is about trust...trust is the key to any happy relationship. i would say follow your head if you are on here getting advice obviously you have doubts. if you are even considering this other girl you should not have the idea of marriage in your head. marrige is a commitment not something to take lightly as so many do these days think it all through i think you know what you should do already you are just looking for reassurance. Good Luck!!!!
2006-12-16 04:13:55 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you are having such doubts should tip you off about what to do! Push the wedding back, and make sure this is something you are sure about!
How can a marriage last, or even begin, with no trust involved? Watch out, she might just want to be married for the sake of being married... I know girls like this, I know guys who were with girls like this!
Trust your instincts, only you know what you need to do! Perhaps you need to be by yourself for a bit, figure out what it is YOU want, instead of letting these girls do it for you!
Good luck, I hope things work out for you!
2006-12-16 03:32:30 · answer #5 · answered by purple_flutterby_13 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why are you marrying someone you have been with only two months? You have skipped over the most important part - getting to know and trust each other. Dating is what leads you to these answers yourself, it is the foundation of your relationship. If you have been together a year or so and you have a solid relationship, then take the plunge.
2006-12-16 02:01:38 · answer #6 · answered by fortillfriday 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that you have to ask this is pretty good proof that you should call of the wedding. Then, you need to make a choiceL will you work on the relationship you are in now and see where it goes or move on and start something new? Either way - you are DEFINITLY not ready for marriage!
2006-12-16 10:08:36 · answer #7 · answered by Chrys 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont do it, you clearly are not sure it is right there fore it is not. In my opinion people rush into marriage too quickly, which is why there is such a high divorce rate. You should talk to your fiance and explain that you dont think you should be marrying her because you have doubts about her fidelity and because she doesn't trust you. Trust is very important for a relationship to work. You should take more time to get to know and trust each other before thinking about marriage
2006-12-16 01:47:51 · answer #8 · answered by Lucy 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all you should not be getting married to someone you barely know, marriage is a life long commitment and it should not be treated lightly. Since you are even considering this other girl I would call of the wedding while you can
2006-12-16 03:05:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
marrying anyone after 2 months is a bad idea let alone when its a relationship that carries as much baggage as this. take some time to get to know her and work out what you really want. good luck
2006-12-16 10:27:38 · answer #10 · answered by bow 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋