My wedding is on next july but im not sure that i made the good choice,at the beginning of our relationship,he was very nice to me but now he criticizes my way of dressing, my friends, i dont know what to do so help me!!
2006-12-16 01:12:13 · 25 answers · asked by rita 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
If you have any doubts...don't do it. You'll regret it.
2006-12-16 01:14:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's possible, when you first met, he was on his best behavior, and turned into himself when the relationship became comfortable. Although-------
You need to sit down and talk to him and tell him how you feel, that this is not okay, and that it hurts your feelings. If he can't respect your feelings now, how is it going to be for the rest of your lives.
Make a list of the things you expect from each other.
And if you can't live with the faults of the other now, you won't be able to later.
You can't change him, if he doesn't want to be changed.
But, he may not realize that what he is saying hurts.
Also, from past experiences, I have found that men like to test their boundaries, like children.
The worse you let him treat you, the less he will respect you. Men want us to stand up to them. Dont be ugly, and say something hurtful, just because he hurt you, that will only make things worse, and he will resent you.
Never, never, match hurt for hurt. That will only end very badly.
If you two can't start your marriage with open communication now, you never will.
You need to start working on your problems as early as possible. If he really loves you, then he will be willing to try anything to make both of you happy.
Marriage is like a well oiled machine, if you allow dirt and grime to get in, then it will bog down the motor. (dirt and grime, being bad feelings, opinions of family and friends, and worst of all, lack of communication)
Keep it clean and smooth.
If you're questioning your love for him, ask yourself if you feel that way because of the way he's been treating you.
Put that aside for a moment and think about how he normally treats you.
Also, look at how his dad treats his mom, some behavior is learned. And how does he treat his mom.
If they both treat her good, there may be a chance, if they both threat her poorly, got out while the getting's good.
The most important part of a relationship is communication. Talk about everything that bothers you.
If he wants an argument, especially now, give it to him. He wants to see if an argument will make you leave, don't leave, stand your ground, be firm but flexable.
You both need to be willing to bend a little.
If you two really love each other, then you will always be able to work things out.
Don't give up just because your feelings got hurt. That's why there are so many devorces today.
Lack of communication caused my devorce. Now, we're back together, and working things out, successfully. I've never been more in love.
If you both go to church, talk to your Pastor. If you don't feel comfortable, find a pastor that will councel you.
But, what ever you do, never, never, never, involve your family and friends.
Old people who have never been appart from their first love will have good answers. There's a reason they are still together.
And remember, it's okay to disaggree.
I wish you the best.
If he's worth it, hang in there.
2006-12-16 09:51:59 · answer #2 · answered by freakyforjesus 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Put the wedding on hold and think about finding a better guy. These bad characteristics are only going to get worse after the newness wears off. Doesn't sound like you are really in love. Marry in haste, repent in leisure.
2006-12-16 09:17:26 · answer #3 · answered by tenbadthings 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Do not get married if you are in doubt. Only get married when you are 100% sure that you are in love with him and that you can see yourself with him for the rest of your lives.
Someone who is so harsh on you and always criticizing you does not love you. Love sees past your imperfections, or at least calls attention to them in a subtle, loving way. YOU wouldn't want to hurt somebody that you love, right?
PLEASE talk to a friend or a family member about this!!
DO NOT GET MARRIED IF YOU ARE IN DOUBT!!!
2006-12-16 11:23:28 · answer #4 · answered by chocolatecupcake 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
men at some point of time, they always reveal their true self. Maybe he thinks that, since you guys are getting married soon so hes gonna say the truth to you. Or maybe hes not ready for a marriage as yet. There's much time left. You should try talk to him. don't try to make things right for yourself. Just let things flow naturally and then from there you make your final decision. Make sure you're keen with ur determination =] GO GIRL!!!
2006-12-16 09:23:29 · answer #5 · answered by Caitlynn L 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Definitely not! He'll probably get even worse once you're married. Any pain or hassle you may have to go through by breaking it off now will be a heck of a lot less than what a future divorce will put you through.
2006-12-16 09:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by CraigRC 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you aren't sure you need to cancel NOW.
It is a LOT better than getting married then going through a whole bunch of divorce BS down the road.
Why would you want to marry someone you yourself said "not really sure that you love him"????
2006-12-16 17:42:49 · answer #7 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are having doubts now, don't do it. You will save yourself a lot of pain down the road. Trust me i just got a divorce finalized this past spring from a marriage i went into and wasn't 100% sure.
2006-12-16 10:12:45 · answer #8 · answered by Brat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
no, i woudn't, the only time u should marry someone if you are sure that u love him, love is never unsure. Don't marry him just because he may be rich, nice, and the family likes him, he sounds like a wonderful man, but if you want to marry him, be sure that u love him.
2006-12-16 11:33:42 · answer #9 · answered by Ashley A 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If there's any doubt,get out! This nation has the highest divorce rate in the world.Why enter into a marriage that you know that will end that way.Good luck.
2006-12-16 09:17:29 · answer #10 · answered by birdlady 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well gurl, theres only one thing . don't do things that you unsure about it, marriage is not a kinda a thing you can play with. its your future life . about binding two hearts together, if you have a doubt and still proceed. you'll regret crushing someones life instead of yours.you'll get what i mean if you have watched a film AMERICAN WEDDING and THE FAMILY MAN
2006-12-16 09:23:23 · answer #11 · answered by akira 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋