Do you think Home schooled chrildren are missing out ?

Question

From personal experience, I can tell you that I sometimes regret not staying in public school through high school. I feel like I missed out on a lot of things. My friends I had while at school became distant. My distant friends seem to still be close, even if that closeness is only through the telephone or myspace. Is there a tight bond that forms between classmates who graduate school together ? Because I feel like I never bonded like I should have.

Answer 1

Yes, homeschooled kids miss out on most of the pros and cons of conventional schooling. But conventionally schooled kids miss out on the pros and cons of homeschooling. You can't keep from missing out on something because you can't do everything.

Your world stopped revolving around school before your friends' did, which would naturally begin to create a distance. It seems that the more alike your lives are and the more you are together, the more opportunity you have to remain close.

Even in adulthood, when you get married, and your friends aren't married, your worlds begin to grow apart because your lives are so different. It will happen again when you have kids, and your friends aren't yet having kids. Or if they have kids before you do, it will naturally change the nature of the relationship.

It seems from what I've observed that most friends will come and go in life. Some you'll keep forever, but even most forever friends will grow more distant over the years. And sometimes, with some friends, the distance will seem to come and go.

I'm sorry for your regrets. But, who knows? Maybe you would have different, even greater regrets had you stayed in public school. It's so hard to know really. It's nothing you can change now, so try not to spend too much time and energy worrying about it. Look ahead, and pray for good, close friends now. Your life's only just beginning!

Answer 2

I homeschool my son.

While I was in school or right after I graduated I guess I would say yes you feel like you miss out on a lot. Those friendships seem so important at that time. At that age you seem sure they are the only ones who have experienced what you have or could understand you. For a time friends are more than family. But it is temporary. That distance you have now would have happened eventually anyway.

Because soon those "best friends" you depended on go to college. Ya'll get married, have kids, work all the time and get busy. You make new friends. Neighbors, co workers, people at church who are involved in fun activities with you. They will be people of all ages and backgrounds. You will realize you are not special in your experiences. And eventually you will realize those friendships in high school were not well balanced. They were shallow and selfish. You might keep one or two friends long term, but even those you see less often.

Don't worry about it. A lot of the bonding going on is heartache you don't need or drama you don't want, and in 10 years none of it will matter.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

MommyX4 hit the nail on the head - no matter what you choose, you miss out.

Ultimately, you can choose to blame your circumstances on your happiness, or you can create your happiness. As adults, when we change jobs or move to a new city, or make life changes, there is always the chance that you'll stop being in contact with the friends that you made there.

This is the first of many times that you will have to face this life challenge.

The fact that you and your friends aren't as close anymore is less an issue of whether or not you are "missing out" and more of an issue of "were they really that great of friends?" If these were true friends, the fact that you aren't together all day shouldn't have too much of a negative effect on your overall friendship. It will certainly cause a strain, but if you can overcome that challenge, you'll strengthen your friendship, and find that school wasn't the only reason why you were friends.

95% of the friends you make in life won't be life-long friends. You're going to have to end most of your friendships eventually. And, then make new ones.

And if you aren't constantly making new friends, then that's a problem. That's a problem I see in school is that kids don't keep making friends. Once kids have their friends, that's it. They rarely have the opportunity to practice their friend-making skills. So, consider this something that they are missing out on, that you aren't. You get to regularly practice your friend-making skills (and continue to practice your friend-keeping skills).

As for the comment about homeschoolers missing out on chances to meet "diverse" people. That's a bunch of hooey. The people homeschoolers meet are far more diverse on many levels than the people school kids see day, after day, after day, after day - hardly anyone new ever comes onto their radar screen. Homeschoolers get new people in their lives all the time. Because of that, they are faced with being exposed to the natural diversity of their community.

If you are losing your friends in school because they aren't making the effort to be your friend when you aren't convenient, then get out and do the things you love to do. When you do that in the community, you won't help but make new friends. It might take a while to be really good friends with someone, but that's OK. It's often better to take a little longer to become good friends with someone, and really trust them, than to be "instant friends" without the time and experience to get to know them.

Hope this helps!

Answer 4

Just so that you know, I don't see A SINGLE person I was friends with in high school....college, marriage, kids...all that causes friends to drift apart. Once you're out of the rat race of school, you don't have much in common anymore, so you drift away. I have way more "cyber" friends than I ever did in school. I had several friends in high school, but I was one of the first to get married, so that made me an outcast among them...they were still single, see? Then I was the first to have a kid. Even more of an outcast..."who wants to go see Jessie and her crying baby? Nah....let's go to the club..."
You weren't missing much by not bonding.

My children are only missing out on the negative parts of school, the drugs, the sex, the bullies...etc. They have weekly field trips, they have play groups, they have all sorts of social activities with other kids of all ages. For high schoolers where I live there are monthly dances and other activities. I think there is even a cap and gown graduation.

Answer 5

I think home schooled children may miss out only because they aren't around so many other children every day to develop those peer bonds. However, public school has it's challenges all it's own because I'm not so sure I learned as much of anything when I attended. Home schooling with a balance of activities with other children would combat the instances of not bonding with others your own age. But really our public school system is the pits right now if you aren't in a good district, which is few and far between. . .plus peers aren't always the best to learn from and pressure is greater at certain ages. I'm seriously considering home schooling my children. . .

Answer 6

Even with my tightest high school friends, we eventually drifted away because life kind of gets in the way. We just got too busy or moved away pretty much. I made new friends in college, then I kind of drifted away from those friends. Then I made new friends when I graduated. It's kind of sad, but I guess part of life.

Instead of looking backwards, I think you should work on making new friends. If you're homeschooling now, I would join some homeschooling groups or classes that you're interested in. Are you going to college soon? You will make lots of friends there. Are you into sports? Track or running clubs, basketball, or other sports are a great way to make friends (you don't have to be a fast runner or good at sports and it's healthy, too). Churches and church groups are a good way to make friends if you're interested in that, also. Good luck!

Answer 7

I went to public institution and didn't move to promenade. Why now not? Because we wouldn't have proms wherein I are living! It's an American invention. I did move to my gr. 12 grad dance, however did not keep lengthy because it used to be awesome uninteresting. Some of my peers got here again to my location and we ate pizza, performed song, chatted till the wee hours of the morning, then fell asleep on sofas, blankets at the flooring... I had pondered now not going in any respect--considering that I knew it could be only a bunch of dressed up persons performing dull for probably the most side on the grounds that part could be inebriated, however I not ever could have inspiration of it in phrases of "lacking my grade 12 grad". I did not pass over whatever; I simply did not move, identical to I did not move to a couple events and did not do that or that. I understand fairly good a gr. eleven homeschooled lady who isn't going to be going to any dance or whatever for her grade 12 grad. She has the possibility to (sure, homeschooled grads and proms exist!!!), however she's fairly now not interested. She is, alternatively, going to be going out with loved ones and peers to a first-rate eating place and celebrating. She is fairly specific she may not think like she "ignored" her grade 12 grad. She's simply redefined it.

Answer 8

Here the homeschooled children can take part in all activities that the public school offers. They DO NOT miss out on anything unless THEY choose to.

Answer 9

I am homeschooling my son. Socializing and learning to work as a team can be an issue. I think homeschooling can be beneficial to certain children. My son is learning deficient and I have never found anyone willing to take the time he needs to teach him properly. My solution was to home school him on the academic subjects, and to enroll him in the public school with extra curricular activities. It is called dual enrollment. I highly recommend dual enrollment for anyone homeschooling their child. This way they are able to still participate in all school activities and hang out and make friends. Funny thing is, I was never a fan of homeschooling, but in certain situations is is better for the child. I hope this helps.

Answer 10

I don't think my kids miss out on anything in school! What are they missing out on anyway?:

1) bullying
2) being made to conform to what society says they should be
3) thinking as the majority think not being 'free thinkers'
4) prejudice from teachers who have their 'pets'
5) learning all the bad habits of their peers
6) learning in a really dumb environment - who has heard of all 18 year olds and all middle aged people etc being lumped together in the same room in work?


Kids go to school to learn NOT for socialisation skills - they should be taught at home anyway!

Of all the kids I know the ones who are confident and great in social settings are those who are home educated!