I have a friend whose son is not doing well in math so the parents got the child (who is 9 1/2) some flash cards. They tell him if he studies them he will get a little something he wants. Is that strange to give a child a treat for studying? Studying is expected is it not? The parent told me they use it as a bribe to get him to study. This does not seem right to me. Your thoughts?
2006-12-16 00:24:25 · 12 answers · asked by KathyS 7 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I think it's rediculious. A child should not have to be paid to take care of THEIR responsilbities. If the child fails the child fails...that's life. The child will be held back and have to repeat the year with younger kids while his/her peers move on and up a grade. Sometimes a child has to fail in order to actually LEARN a lesson. My daughter failed highschool, turned herself around went to adult classes got her diploma turned around entered college and is currently (and for the past two years as well) carrying a 4.0 gpa. If the parents have to pay a child to study the child isn't going to be willing to take responsibility for themselves or learn anything, other than how to get people to pay them for doing what they should do paid or not.
2006-12-16 09:09:26 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I am a recently retired elem teacher. Children usually at early ages are motivated to learn by extrinsic rewards, (bribes :) and then gradually weaned over to intrinsic rewards. If it is a known fact the child can do the work, then I worked with parents, found the thing the child treasured the most ......... gymnastics classes, bicycle, video games, whatever, and told them that luxury would be removed until grades were up to par. Also, tho. think of it this way, as an adult, if you were not paid for your work, would you still go to work every day. Kids "work" really is school. So they can be prepared for later. I don't think they see education as adults do. Remember in school the subjects you hated ? Sometimes to get thru some subjects, "outside motivation" is necessary, but each child and family is so different.
2006-12-16 03:14:05 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What do you consider grades? All grades are is bribes. Children will learn enough to get the grade and will retain things only long enough to get the grade then they'll forget whatever it was they were tested on. That is the way the public school system works. They've made learning an extrinsic thing instead of intrinsic. I think it is sad. But I surely don't fault these parents. Why not bribe the kid? The schools do.
2006-12-16 00:34:07 · answer #3 · answered by Amelia 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well sometimes it takes more for some kids to study. Possibly the parents always bribe the kid to get things done and now it is the only way. I hope it works however when the kid grows up he will not be bribed by an employer to get things done. He will just be fired for failing.
2006-12-16 00:28:14 · answer #4 · answered by Gone fishin' 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is strange, but parents often use some form of motivation to get kids working. My father used a very different motivator which cost him nothing and kept me well motivated.
I think you set kids up for failure when you bribe them. The work they are doing is for themselves and not for anyone else. Perhaps you friends should try helping their child understand how hard people have to work once they grow up and how an education will make that just a bit easier. I think it would be tough for them to convey the idea to a nine year old but with a bit of work they should be able to get him to understand.
2006-12-16 00:32:33 · answer #5 · answered by Jason T 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Studying should be done without having to have bribes, but if this is the only way then go for it. But I only hope that they havent started something that they may regret later.
2006-12-16 00:34:40 · answer #6 · answered by karen v 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As the mother of 3, and 2 of them teenagers, whatever works, USE IT. If bribery is effective,and I've used it, then by all means, it's a good idea. They can get little treats or little toys for studying and turning in their homework, and then they get into the habit of studying, and recognizing that it has it's own rewards.
2006-12-16 03:18:45 · answer #7 · answered by Alicia L 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, I don't think that's odd. Its the same concept as parents giving money to their kids when they get A's and B's on their report card (my parents used to take me shopping for good grades, and when I graduated from college they gave me a big fat check for my bank account). Studying is important, but if you never reward a child for good behavior or at least tell them why its important to get good grades then what's their incentive? Anytime your child does something well, you should reward them (doesn't always have to be material) but that's how you encourage them to continue.
2006-12-16 05:04:21 · answer #8 · answered by tangyterp83 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. If you start bribing a child when they are young, they are going to get used to it and will continue to only study if they are bribed when they get older. say, " You are not going to a friend's house, unless you get good grades." This is a healthy insentive, and is much better than bribing.
2006-12-16 02:19:23 · answer #9 · answered by fluffysheep12345 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's strange. Teachers use the same method by giving stickers out or letting the kids pick out a small toy at the end of the week if they have behaved or done all their work. Parenthood is a difficult job and kids don't come with a manual. What works for one child doesn't necessarily work for another. You have to find what works for you and go with it.
2006-12-16 01:35:18 · answer #10 · answered by latingirl0527 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋