was told that I have a lot of down days due to rumatiod arthritis,she promised to help with the house work and to keep her own messes cleaned up.Last month she got 8 cartons of cigaretts from my boyfriend,and when told how much money it came to she insisted that it was only $50.00.when she cooks it is for herself only,when I cook it is for everyone who lives here.she will leave the house work just go when I have my down days,which I have to make up for at the expense of pain.Everytime I get a visitor she has to start an arguement with them over petty little things.I have tried to talk to her about this,and she acts like it is all in my HEADshe has a dog that she only takes out 2-3 times a day,and when he goes on my floor she insists that it was My dog!!!She is pregnant and I do not want to see her out in the street but she is causing me so much work,pain and stress that I am at my wits end on what else to do,Someone PLEASE give me some advise on how to get this situation under control.
2006-12-16 00:11:17 · 12 answers · asked by redjewel52 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Simple! Say to her, GET OUT! NOW! That should do it!
2006-12-16 00:14:30 · answer #1 · answered by wheeliebin 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are being too nice! She is your roommate, not your family, not your best friend and not your responsibility. She is a grown woman about to become a mother, she needs to be responsible for herself. If you have tried talking with her and reasoning with her and it doesn't work then she has already told you how she feels. And you being such a nice person have capitulated to her will. STOP. Draw up a contract in writing of her rights and responsibilities, and the consequence of not fulfilling them will be eviction in 30 days. period. Have a witness there to sign it as well in case she decides to haul you into court to contest it. Ask her to sign it, if she refuses tell her she has 30 days. The first time she violates it, tell her she has 30 days giving her a copy,(not the original) of the contract. You are not responsible for her pet either and make sure to include that in the contract.
Roommates are supposed to be a good thing and a relief of stressful things such as finances. When they start to stress you out you need to consider not being roommates anymore.
Good luck!
2006-12-16 00:24:01 · answer #2 · answered by sarcasm_gurl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She has to go you 2 are totally incompatible.
She was told what was needed to be done and she is just taking advantage of you.
Can you imagine after she has the baby how she will act?
She will be too tired to do anything.
Get rid of her.. if she isn't on the lease or the rent agreement you can just ask her to move. If she is, and you are primary which I am going to assume you are, go to the manager. If necessary have your bf help you pack her stuff.. move her back wherever she came from, if she starts trouble you can get a restraining order. She looks like the type that will not go quietly so get going before she totally ruins your Christmas!
2006-12-16 00:16:32 · answer #3 · answered by Tapestry6 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
darlin, i feel for you. i myself have arthritis , fibromyaligia, and sarcodosis. so totally understand about pain and down days. you have put yourself in a stressful household which only makes you feel worse.you need to sit her butt down , and tell her how unhappy you are and why. then tell her what you expect in exchange for room and board. what chores you expect her to fulfill and on what days. restrictions concerning her dog. maybe the dog can only stay in her room, that way when it makes a mess she will be the one to step in it. write all of this down as you are talking. then find out what she was looking for when she agreed to become your roomate, maybe it is entailing more than what she is willing to do, if this is the case it is time for her to find another place,before the baby comes,or she will be twice as hard to make leave. plus you will feel bad making her leave with a newborn. if the 2 of you should come to a compromising contract, that you both find reasonable, and comfortable enviroment in which to co-habitate, money , chores, dog situtation, kids and what you expect after the baby is born, cuz you're not a built in babysitter, and i see it coming. then draw up the agreement in duplicate, setting a time limit of when you expect these changes to have taken place. then get a disposable camera and if she leaves the dishes set for longer than what you agreed or her dog poops, take pictures and write down the incident noting time,date,circumstances, and what was said at the time. keep this camera and log handy as you will be using it alot in the beginning until she sees that you are serious about the living conditions. in your contract state if in the allotted time changes have not occurred she will be issued an eviction notice of two weeks. at that time you will be getting a restraining order in order to get her out.. you are a person who can't take the stress and strain of what she is putting you thru. then if what you need is someone to help you out around the house,then check out local teen centers and senior centers for someone who would be willing to help you in exchange for food and board and other essentials. or a little help around the house and they could still hold down a part-time job and pay a little rent. you will need to decide if what you need is financial help or care taking help. be fair to both of you. and don't have expectations that are to high or you will be let down. hope this helps. good luck MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAVE A BETTER NEXT YEAR. P.S. you might even try the homeless missions,you'd be surprised how many women are homeless and need a little boost up and would be ever so grateful for just a safe,warm,and comfortable enviroment. just because they are homeless ,doesn't mean they are criminals. good luck and GOD BLESS
2006-12-16 00:59:25 · answer #4 · answered by hummybird 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, stand up straight, walk up to her and tell her or, rather ask her if she remembers the agreements she made when she moved in. If she doesn't remind her. Then give her ten days to straighten out her act or hit the street.
In most areas you've got a problem. You invited her in, it doesn't matter how or the reasons so, you can't kick her out and, it's a matter of fact, most Northern States won't let you kick someone out until well into March. You could be screwed.
2006-12-16 00:17:37 · answer #5 · answered by cowboydoc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you've allowed this person to rule you and your home.you seem to have thought she would be some sort of help to you and she's not a personal care aid.You may cook for every one because that's who you are but everyone may not feel the same and that doesn't make her wrong.You may have to use legal ways to get her out,but when you go into these situations,you need to be very clear of your expectations and clear as the other persons responsibilities towards you and your home.
2006-12-16 00:17:57 · answer #6 · answered by punkin 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
i know that she pregnant but you need to tell her if she don't start helping out and cleaning up behind her self then she needs to go, then maybe she'll see how much you have done for her
2006-12-16 01:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by tanisha a 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kick her out. She's not worth the problems that she causes.
2006-12-16 00:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get her out now because after she has the baby it will be harder for you to do!
2006-12-16 00:20:47 · answer #9 · answered by redmistress3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give her an ultimatum .she need s a period to sort herself out so that in like two months she can move out.
2006-12-16 00:14:35 · answer #10 · answered by cynnie 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋