My Husband of 5 years and I are trying to have a baby,But I can't conceive because i was born a Male had the operation done 4 years before i met him...and i've never told him that i was born a male,should and how do i tell him? he's pressing me to look into artificial insemination....or should i just try and convince him to adopt
2006-12-15 21:08:06 · 10 answers · asked by Nol 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You've been married for 5 years and never told him??
Oh my......
When in doubt, I always refer to this:
Lying is permissable to anyone so long as it greatly benefits others, and hurts no one.
Can you find a solution that fits into that rule??
If you can, all will be well.
Namaste,
--Tom
2006-12-15 21:13:08 · answer #1 · answered by glassnegman 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey:
You shouldnot tell this guy come what may ;unless he finds out by himself!Why set yourself up for heartbreak and him for heartbreak when there is no need to!
As for the child tell him you cannot concieve so artifical insemination is out of the way,probbaly u cannot produce fertile eggs or becoz your womb cannot hold a baby.Suggest adoption and start selecting a baby then tell him "honey I found a soo adorable baby...I feel as he is our own".You can say postive stuff like that.
You should undestand that if you say you were born a guy he will be depressed and he will think something is wrong with him becoz he couldnot recongise a born female from one that was made female!
Just avoid heartaces and pain both of you deserve a happy,painfree life!
Concerning lies ,my Holy Scripture says"If a lie is told to save someone then it is better than a thousand truths".
Just prepare yourself in the future if he finds out about your real identity becoz everything we do shall come back to haunt us,as Newton says"every action as an equal and opposite reaction".
Be happy.
Love ,
Sanam
2006-12-16 05:26:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my husband 20 years and I can't imagine him not knowing me. Who you are is made up of where you have come from and the road you had to take to get here. It took great strength and courage to make the changes necessary to live a life free of physical deceit, why stop now. You are a strong woman live life on your terms, tell him you love him and that you were afraid of losing him with the truth and that the time never seemed right to say some thing that you know could destroy both your dreams.
He may leave you for not telling him sooner but he loves you and that will not change. You will need to give him time to get his thoughts and feelings sorted out. Remember that he fell in love with the woman you see in the mirror not the person you once were. It may be a dark tunnel for awhile but you will come out the other side feeling better about yourself. If he leaves for good what did you see in this man to start with doesn't sound like you trust him to love you for who you are.
My thoughts will be with you and good luck
2006-12-16 05:44:11 · answer #3 · answered by noddy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
eih gosh you've been with him for 5 years and never revealed your dark secret...i wonder how you managed to lie to him for 5 loving years..i think you should let him know now!which you must have done before getting married...tell him and tell him the reasons why to are forced to keep it..tell him that you're so afraid that you would lose him..and that's holding you you back...a relationship without honesty will never last long...
2006-12-16 05:29:19 · answer #4 · answered by queen_maan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess the biggest mistake was not to tell him for the 5 years that you cannot conceive.
I suggest you tell him fast and go for an adoption.
2006-12-16 05:20:47 · answer #5 · answered by JDGuru at work 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
UMMMMM....You've been married 5 Years and haven't told him this yet??? Don't you think its about time you broke this little Revelation to him? If nothing else, adoption is probably going have the least amount of heartburn...
2006-12-16 05:15:17 · answer #6 · answered by Psycomagnet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
firstly what you did was very brave, however i can't understand how you have possibly kept this a secret from your husband - has he never seen childhood photos of you or met your family? you know your husband better than anyone - how do you think he'll take it?
2006-12-16 05:13:16 · answer #7 · answered by taevey 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You ,most likely, know him better than any of us will ever know him.
In a relationship, I'm a come clean guy.There is no solid foundation without it.It would bother me.
I would tell him.It is what it is.
2006-12-16 05:31:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i really think that is something you should have mentioned when you knew your relationship was getting serious . i hope you understand that he might not be to happy to find out the truth about who he has been sleeping with.
2006-12-16 05:18:26 · answer #9 · answered by gary j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
use your own sperm
2006-12-16 05:26:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋