do you think this was a mistake? Maybe I did the wrong thing!?

Question

My apartment manager was totally rude to me today & lately but she has power over me . I felt she was in the wrong & she made me cry knowing it was my birthday & berated me for crying. She has been rude every since I truned in a written complaint for lease violations. I wnet over her head recently and apparently her manager told me I was afraid of her as she screamed at me (when I complained)..she was all nice and I felt less scared but now she is ruder than ever and still intimidating and must have just said that cause he told her to and it was fake and now she is really mad. I got worried i'd get n her hit list for getting evicted as they trump up fake excuses and I can't move yet.
Even though I did not feel at fault I apologized to her and asked forgiven in a Christmas card saying I was having a lot of personal problems thinking maybe that would help. Now I feel like that was a mistake and I sold myself out but can't retrive the card as it is in the slot. Did I do the wrong

thing taking the blame when I did not feel at fault?

oh no renee..you may be right..now she knows her intimidation works and it looks like I am at fault..I hate this woman..my son will probably agree with you..I put it in mental health as the situation with her in the last 6 months is causing all kinds of negative emotions--sadness, anger, and fear and that is affecting my mental health.

thanks for the hugs Shannon..I needed that and it made me smile..great answer.

just Lisa...wow what an empowering and encouraging answer..it brought me to tears actually and really helped me a lot..god bless you for it..

puritan thanks for your advice

Answer 1

You should never feel bad for being the bigger person in any situation. Sometimes in life we all find ourselves in situations where choosing not to vocalize and prove ourselves right is the smartest choice. Being smart enough to realize that even though you knew yourself to be right, actually choosing to prove this may have been instantaneously satisfying, would with all probability have put you in a worse predicament you admit you are not prepared to handle. You did not sell yourself out by choosing to place your future ahead of your pride. What you did was prove that you are smart enough and mature enough to keep your attitude in check long enough to remain focused on your proirities and prove in the meantime you have some class as well. Most would not have held themselves together so well. You should be proud of yourself. You know you are right and believe me She does too. Being kind when she knows you have every right not to be will take her off guard and you will have the upper hand in the end. Don't let her get to you. You are on the right track. You will come out on top in the long run and will still have your dignity and can be proud of the way you carried yourself. Life's greatest lessons are sometimes the ones where the smartest choice is not always the one that provides instant but fleeting gratification. What have you sold out if your own best interests are well served by simply choosing to momemtarily swallow your pride for the greater good?

Answer 2

Hi janie never apologize when you have done nothing wrong. You can just say this simple phase. "Im sorry you feel that way" I sugest staying clear of her and dont talk to her unless absolutely necessary. If she gets rude etc just say im not willing to talk to you when you are rude, raising your voice at me or using that tone of voice. Tell her that when she can act normal and civil you will be willing to talk with her. I would also suggest staying clear ofher. DOnt say hi, pretned shes not there. Make the best of it and move out as soon as you can. Make sure that you take pictures of your apartment so that she can accuse you of doing damage etc. Mean and nasty miserable people tend to do stupid things. Sounds likes shes so miserable and shes trying to bringyou down. Always wear a smile when shes around and keep yur head up. also you dont need to tell her about your personal problesm you dont owe her anything and people tend to use your weaknesses against u. The more ammo u give her the more of a bee she can be. and you dont know who shes telling yur personal info to. I would simply stay to yourself and stay clear of her. She doesnt sound like the logical and nice type of person. shes pure trouble. I have had a few landlords or managers from hell and I am so greatful that own my own home now. I dont know if you can afford a condo, town home or house. Even if it was just a two bedroom place. That way your your own landlord. Even if you got a fixer upper. Good luck and I wish you he best. hugs

Answer 3

there is not any longer some thing extraordinary about the way you sense. you're only in puberty and performance to get used to each of the hormones and being a woman. by using how, you ought to do some thing the lads do, like martial arts, and so on. it is so propose of your dad to assert he would have dealt with you otherwise. i'm a mom of two grown up ladies. I want I had a boy to play ball with, they under no circumstances needed to do boy stuff. at the same time as i became youthful, your age, I had a brother and that i did each of the stuff he did. He taught me baseball, basketball and we performed cowboys and indians and police officials and robbers, and so on. (It became a lengthy time period in the past). Then there got here a time after we went our separate innovations, about the time i became your age, and we advanced our human being friendships. only wait many years and all of your insecurities will all come at the same time and also you'll determine it out.

Answer 4

You have rights as a tenant in that apartment. Don't know why you apologized if you didn't do anything wrong. You only gave her more leverage to use against you-now she really knows how weak you are. See a lawyer for your rights so you don't get intimidated. One more thing, what's your question doing in Health?

Answer 5

Find out her HER Boss is, and write to them and explain exactly what you said here...tell them that you were so intimidated by this person, that you even went as far as to be made to feel it was wrong of you to be expressing your tenants rights...go right over her head,...sorry, but she has the power to evict you if she wants it sounds like and if you have to protect yourself go ahead..you were just tyring to be a peace maker..or you could just wait and see if your 'apology' works...may make a difference...but if it gets worse, find out who is in charge and write to them and send it certified...

Answer 6

you're in trouble sis. Why don't you just play by the rules till your lease gets over and find another accommodation in the mean time. If she wields power, you wouldn't like to spoil it with here would you?

But, you don't have to bend over backwards to ingratiate her. Just carry yourself in a dignified manner. Next time she comes to fight, just plead with her to stop you citing a headache or sickness. In your privacy, you may swear at her many times - feel free to use abusive words the way guys do - it often softens up things.

if your appt. manager is a prick, there's no way you're gonna mend ways with her again. Try for alternate accommodation asap.

Answer 7

I do think that you should have let it go and not made up something to put in the card. She is rude and you don't have to make any personal excuses to make her all cheery. You should stand up for yourself and tell her the real deal.

Answer 8

are u serious
not your fault
she is nobody to you so what do you care

Answer 9

just APOLOGIZE to her