Help with my ADHD diagnosed 9yr old?

Question

My son was diagnosed w/ADHD 3yrs ago. He currently takes Aderall XR 20mg & it seems to help his focus at school.Here is my problem,he is very whiny,has a major temper problem & in general drives his father & myself nuts.Just this evening,he was in with his 7yr old brother playing.He went to the bathroom & proceeded to yell loudly about what he was "doing" Then he decided to change his clothes,his brother walked in the room & he proceeded to shriek naked all over the house.I then told both of them to go to bed, a little earlier than normal,but they were driving me nuts.The 7yr old went to bed no problem,the 9yr old started crying hysterically,yelling at me "why" & "come on" I was losing it so my husband came in & told him to go to sleep & he started yelling like we were killing him.This is a nightly adventure for us & through the internet,I feel more comfortable discussing this issue.I don't want family & friends to think I am a bad parent or my kid is nuts. Please Help !! I need advice

He has been on the 20mg for about 1 year now and I give him a Benadryl half an hour before bed every night. They had given him a pill (can't remember what) to help him sleep, but it didn't work and made his stomach hurt. He stops TV a full half hour before bed as well.

Antheia: We do talk with my son, we spent yet another hour and a half doing so again tonight after we finally got him to stop yelling. We talk to him daily and explain why these behaviors are not acceptable, but the very next day, he's at it again. I wrote the question to get advice, not to get more medication. If I wanted that. I'd just tell the doctor to up his dosage. These "outbursts" are not brought on by yelling or lack of attention. I really appreciate your insight and will try some different tactics with him. that is what I am ultimately looking for. Things I can do at home to help with this situation.

I try not to be too limited in info, but it seems like I'm writing a book..lol. He does have an occasional "bad day" at school per his teacher, but it's usually when he forgets his pill in the am. I work midnight shift and get off at 8am after he is already in school. His dad wasn't "watching" him take the pill and sometimes forgot it. He never has these type of outbursts at school anymore. He is however VERY VERY intelligent. He is 9yrs old and has been tested and reads at a 17yr old level. He is "Gifted" but could not pass that test because he was too fidgety. This came straight from his teacher. He does not watch much TV either. He is at daycare until roughly 5pm afterschool, because I think it is important for him to have more interaction with kids his age then to be cooped up at home while I am sleeping. As I do in the day because I work midnights.

Answer 1

I'm not a parent but when I was 5 I was diagnosed with very severe ADHD. It sounds like ADHD or not he needs to learn boundaries. I hate to say I did the same thing as him when I was a kid. The Adderall is probably contributing to him being unruly, have you guys looked into lowering the dosage? It's a stimulant, and while it helps with focus, that's about all it does. It can even make the hyperactivity portion worse.
My parents used the "1,2,3" method on me to get me in line. Essentially when I was having a tantrum they'd count slowly to three and if I hadn't done what they asked by the time they'd gotten to three I'd be punished. I don't know what kind of punishment I would have gotten because, well, they never got to three.

Best of luck! By the time he's in middle school I'm sure he'll start to grow out of it.

Answer 2

I was a Long Term Single Parent of TWO Disabled Children (and one had Severe ADHD) -- so here is what I did ...

about 30 minutes before I would put him to bed, I started by turning off the TV ... playing some calming music in the Background (classical), fixed a Hot Cocoa Drink, and had him sit down for story time. After that it was the ritual time to start climbing into bed - - he surrounded himself with his stuffed 'MPs' (ok -- I'm Retired Military -- and this was while I was on Active Duty) .. they would "Guard" him while he snuggled down, a couple in front of the closet (to guard there too), then the main light was turned off ... and a nightlight was turned on. The combo tape player/alarm was set to just another 30 mins ... and by the time the tape was done he was fast asleep.

The best thing you can do is to start with the 30 minute cool down period -- the Hot Cocoa, the story time, and him setting up his 'guardians' for the bed ... then the soft classical (or whatever soft music) you want after you turn out his lights.


Since BOTH of my children were Disabled -- one would cycle through nighttime routines in one bathroom and the other would use the master bath .. that way there were no problems there either. But do stop TV viewing early ... so that their brains are not overly stimulated by the constant 'bites' of noise between the commercials (Which ADHD kids can quote completely -- is drove me nuts about the commercials until I REALIZED that this was how their brains worked -- 15 to 30 seconds of info at a time).

Answer 3

This is funny and slightly embarrassing, but I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was 26. My doctor prescribed me Concentra, which is a chlld's ADHD medication. I take the maximum dosage, and it took effect immediately. You shouldn't have this problem if the medication is at the proper dosage. You might want to call your doctor and leave a message with the answering service or speak to him directly.

I'm not a doctor, but I know you can give someone an antihistamine (like benadryl) if they get wound up. Just a normal dose of children's benadryl will calm him down. Personally, I've had to resort to Benadryl occasionally if I took my medication late in the day or just had a rough day with the ADHD. And don't believe the 30 answers you will get to your question that say ADHD is not real. From personal experience, I can say that it is very much real and a nuisance, especially if you start acting like your son when you're almost 30! hah! good luck!

Answer 4

I could be way off base here but understand I am going on limited info here. But I am going to just throw this out there....are your sure your son has the correct diagnosis? The thing that kinda raises a red flag to me is that it seems your son has difficulty with change.
I work in Special Ed and see a lot of kids that are misdiagnosed as having ADHD when in fact it is something more than that.
Does he have these outbursts at school? If there is a sub in class does he have a bad day? How are his social skills in general?

Answer 5

I know what you are talking about it is very frustrating for a parent to have to deal with the constant whining.
my son is 11 years old has been diagnosed for 3 years now. i tried herbal meds at first then switched to Retalin & now he is on concerta.
his behaviour has improved alot. he doesnot fight with his brother that much & I am happy to say that finally his 4 year old brother loves him (as it was hard for the little one to understand all the rage & shouting of his older brother).
so my point is maybe you should try some other kind of medication. ask your dr. about concerta & if it is suitable for your kid or not.
Maybe go to a behaviour therapist (mind you i tried it but it did not work for him.) but it could work for your son.

and mostly to keep your sanity have some you time after they sleep, because i know it is exhausting to put up with the fuss. try to have an hour each day to your self & do what YOU like.

Answer 6

"He stops TV a full half hour before bed as well." But you don't discuss how many hours a day/night he watches. Also you might want to discuss his diet with a dietitcian, you might get some insight as to what kinds of foods might help, what you need to out or back on.

Answer 7

I have a daughter who is 9, been diagnosed for 3 years too. Sounds like what I went through also. I've had to take her back to her doctor to get her medicine increased. She is now at the maximum dosage and it is working well.

Answer 8

I deal with an 8 year old girl with ADHD who screams bloody murder when she doesn't get her way. I think it comes from being overly stimulated. I suggest you talk to your doctor about this. I once removed a splinter from the 8 yr old's foot and I could swear that the neighbors were going to call the police or that she was going to pass out from screaming so loudly.

I feel your pain!

Answer 9

Have you discussed this with his doctor? It sounds as if the medication is either too strong or is just having a bad effect on him.

ADDERALL XR was generally well tolerated in clinical studies.3,5,6 The most common side effects in studies included: children—decreased appetite, difficulty falling asleep, stomachache, and emotional lability; adolescents—loss of appetite, difficulty falling asleep, stomachache, and weight loss; adults—dry mouth, loss of appetite, difficulty falling asleep, headache, and weight loss. Side effects may diminish over time after beginning treatment.

Answer 10

OK you are not a bad parent and your son is not nut first of all.... You need to see if there is a group around you that deals with ADHD.. You need support and you might need to see if there is a pill that will help him sleep i know there is (my brother was on one coz he could not sleep at night) You need to talk to your Dr to see if there is something that can help him rest at night tell him or her what is going on at night and they can give something to help sleep