I have been dating this girl for about a year and a half, and we both love each other very much... but we have had a problem, well i have. sometimes i just fell like that lovey dovey feeling is gone.. i mean it comes and goes but there are a lot of dull moments in our relationship....and sometimes when we are having sex i get mad at her... i get mad that we have to be quite bc i have roommates and that i cant feel much with a condom on, and that i have to constantly tell her to be quite. i have suffered from depression in the past and think it might be coming back, and causing me to be short with her and to be acting this way... does this just happen or is something wrong with me?
2006-12-15 18:00:45 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's depression, big guy. At least, that's what they are calling it these days. Two big give-aways in your question:
1) "dull moments" - you're probably, more accurately, bored with the relationship, and
2) anger and "being short" with her - you are probably also overly sensitive, highly self-aware, and take everything personally.
Classic signs that something is wrong with you.
If you had "depression" in the past, you were taking meds, doing OK, and then got off the meds, maybe it's time to revisit the medical solution...along with some good talk therapy. What's happening to your relationship is not fair to your girl friend.
Get to work on yourself. Ask her to be patient with you - if she loves you, she'll appreciate the honesty and sincerity. Don't let this continue without getting some medical opinions and assistance.
2006-12-15 18:17:03 · answer #1 · answered by SafetyDancer 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, the sex thing is the least of your worries. Trust me, I've been in a relationship now for 7 yrs. When you're unhappy in a relationship, the sex almost always suffers first...so you need to get to the root of the issue.
Talk to your girlfriend. Tell her how you've been feeling. Girls are perceptive, and she probably knows something is bothering you, but doesn't know how to approach you. There's even a chance she might be feeling the same way you do.
If both of you agree that the relationship is dull, the two of you can either decide to spice it up, or call it quits. There's no point torturing yourself in an unhappy relationship anyway. Fix it, or move on! And when you find happiness, the sex will get better again. By the way, you can always have sex in the car, the park, the movie theatre...!
2006-12-16 02:20:47 · answer #2 · answered by Dark Divinity 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don't sound as though you aren't experiencing anything out of the usual. My main concern is that you might be building resentment toward her unknowingly. If this is the case it would be a good time for you guys to stop being physical with one another. If you are both serious about this relationship you should consider sitting down with her and explaining that you are going through a hard time and that you need her to be understanding. If she is able to be there for you as you sort things out it might spark things up for you. What I sense in your question is that she may not be completely respectful of your roommate situation and clearly this is important to you. Additionally, the condom issue is real and hard to get around. If you have any indication that your depression is coming back take steps now to be proactive about it, talk to someone soon and you can avoid getting too deep. I wish you the best of luck and I hope that she finds it in her to be a solid foundation for you as you make your way though this time.
2006-12-16 02:06:50 · answer #3 · answered by marathonlife 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't blame you about the condom thing. You might as well be wrapping it in a burlap sack for all the good it does you. As for all the dull moments and the loss of the lovey dovey feelings, well it could be you, or it could be the relationship itself. Ask yourself if anything specific is actually wrong with the relationship. If not, then maybe it's depression.
2006-12-16 02:04:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Feelings are not stable. They change, they come, they go, they withdraw, etc.
You can't really depend solely on your feelings to be a proper measurement of where you are in life, how you stand, etc.
What helps is:
1) Talking it out with a good friend?
2) Counseling; I used to be against counseling, but after going through it myself I believe that EVERYONE should do it as they can learn something about themselves.
3) You may need to change your environment, get away for a little bit and take a vacation, or actually make a more permanent change.
4) Talk it out with her! Communication is key to a healthy relationship; both parties need to be straightforward and truthful.
2006-12-16 02:04:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey Bro, It happens.
I am not giving you an answer to your issue here, just giving you some ideas.
1. Find something she has never done before and do it, (that may be chess, skating, going to an opera, just kinda figure out in a sneaky way what she would like to do and do it together.
2. Skickyness, Find something you both love and get it.
3. Quit bashing yourself. Life is a rollercoaster, you go up, you go down, its not you or her, its life. Find yourself and then find your hunny.
2006-12-16 02:08:07 · answer #6 · answered by Timothy M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sex is meant for marriage and that is why people just can't stay in their marriages. I mean sex is a privelige. It's the only thing that separates marriage between a girlfriend boyfriend realtionship. That's why the feeling is gone because you have just given away something vital.
2006-12-16 02:04:37 · answer #7 · answered by lavenderlovely 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Wow. It looks like you're getting a good preview of married life. Good luck!
2006-12-16 02:08:24 · answer #8 · answered by PS 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i thing your depression thing puts a whole new spin on your situation... i think it just your emotions...
2006-12-16 02:05:33 · answer #9 · answered by ~CaMeRoN~ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋