Is it right to not give your child christmas?

Question

This has been a discussion in my circle of friends. If a child is not behaving and being disrespectful of parents deserve to not have christmas? Or maybe less of a christmas? I feel Christmas is always a "put everything aside and ahve peace" holiday but is that sending the wrong message to a child that is acting out at age 10? We are addressing the issues of the acting out and the child is capable and when they want to be can be great.

So I guess should Christmas be a removable holiday? 5th grade age.

keep in mind I have always no matter what money was like made Christmas special and go all out. And my previous instinct was to put everything aside for Christmas.

I think it is interesting that most people assume my child is a boy but she's a girl. Not that that really matters but just wanted to throw that out there.

Answer 1

I understand what everyone is saying. However, she still believes in Santa and knows about the naughty or nice list. If you give her lots of presents from Santa even though she belongs on the naughty list then what are you telling her? I believe you should give her presants (from you) but not the expensive one (DS Lite). Yes, it is Christmas but you can not reward bad behavior. Your setting yourself as well as her the wrong example: you've been bad buuuuut since it's Christmas and everyone else is getting presants....you deserve them too.

Answer 2

This is really touchy, i mean if the kid is just a plain out hellion then i can mabye see the reasoning behind this. Every kid deserves christmas and to enjoy the festivities, but the parents should explain the real meaning of christmas, the birth of christ ect. but today all christmas is about these days to 90% of people is gifts, but thats not what its about. Furthermore, the parents of these children need to put their foot down and not let their children get away with everything, parents these days simply do not dicipline or watch their children. parents who let these things go on without punishing their children have only themselves to blame for children that act out. But if a child suddenly becomes a hellion out of no where then i can see the reason. Christmas can still be a beautiful holiday without gifts. So i say for a child who is completely out of control i would absolutely take the gifts away, but a child who is just growing up a little and testing my boundries then no i wouldnt. As parents WE have the responsibility to teach our children that we are the rule makers and we arent going to let our kids get away with anything, start that from a young age and there should be no reason to take away christmas because kids raised with that kind of parenting will be fairly disiplined about the way they act even at age 10. This sort of punishiment must be handled verrrryyyyy delicately. Good luck.

Answer 3

That is really awful, to have everyone else participate and one child left out? Not only will it create a serious chasm in the relationship with his parents, he will hate and resent his siblings who did receive presents. No one is teaching this child to behave, because a ten year old is not going to internalize 'this is because I was bad'. What he will internalize is that his family hates him, that Christmas is a stupid holiday, and that he's unloved. He'll grow up with that pain and it will not be erased.

Parenting should happen all year around, and disrepect of parents is usually something that happens because they've lost their child's heart. They should step back and see how to repair the relationship, and such a horrible abuse will not do it.

This should be the one time that the parents can say "We love you no matter what" Maybe closer to New Years they should plan a heart-to-heart with the boy, and say 'we love you no matter what, but we really do not like the disrespect. What can our family do to change this?" Then make some resolutions.

Answer 4

my opinion may not be as relevant to you as others since I do not celebrate Christmas myself and neither did my parents when i was growing up. However, this is one problem that I see with the holiday. People, not just children, feel entitled to gifts and obligated to give them. It promotes a certain ingratitude when they don't get what they want. I once worked at a private school where there were many kids of well to do parents. The school had a Christmas tradition of collecting and giving toys to less fortunate children. The first and second graders in my care felt that Santa only gave toys to rich kids and that's why they had to give toys the poor. It seemed that I was the only adult around there who found this disturbing. When I was a child, I received gifts of toys and other things when my parents 1) felt that i deserved something and/or 2)had money to purchase it and always 3)as an expression of their love. I was always delighted and surprised. I continued this with my own children who are now grown and have told me that they never felt deprived because of not getting toys for Christmas.

Answer 5

No, Christmas isnt about just giving or recieving gifts. I think there are better ways to deal with behavior problems then to cancel Christmas. Less of Christmas might be a good idea, if the presents are already bought you could pick a few and take the child to a childrens shelter to donate the ones that they are not recieving because of bad behavior. Perhaps they will realize that there are worst situtions to be in and maybe even learn that Christmas isnt all about presents.

Answer 6

I can remember when I was a horrid child of about 9 or 10 my parents scared the life out of me by just the threat of ruining my Christmas.

No child can resist the excitement of the build-up and I can still vividly remember the crushing disappointment when I woke up in the morning and there were no presents for me. My mum and dad made me sit and watch my brother and sister opening their presents, before they relented and gave me mine. It was a real shock and a wake up call that there are consequences to my actions - I grew up a bit that day.

I'm suggesting that this is a good move. Not to have Christmas would be harsh on the parents as much as the child I think, but the threat of not having it or scare tactics as I've described can be very powerful.

Answer 7

Apple fall down Chocolate Chip Walnut Pie classic Apple Pie Cranberry Apple Pie Cranberry Ice Cream Pie Frosty the Cupcake Ice-Cream Tree Lemon Chess Pie ornament Cupcake Pecan Pie Pumpkin Pie Rudolph Cupcake Santa Claus Cupcake Towering Tree Cake

Answer 8

if a child misbehaves on christmas, then i see no reason why they shouldnt be punished, christmas is not a "forget the rules day" as far as i am concerned.

that said they are still intitled to christmas, so you should never ever cancel christmas, or give them nothing because they will be very hurt and upset it may take along time for them to forgive you, a punishment has to be fare, its not about being the meanest as possible.

i think it would be ok to take away some of their presents, so they get less then their better behaved siblings, but they should still get something, after all if you cant forgive on christmas day, when can you?

Answer 9

I would have been absolutely, utterly crushed beyond belief if my parents ever did something like that to me when I was a child. I think if the only thing you think will work to get your child in line is to take away Christmas, you are going to have much bigger fish to fry in a few years. I highly doubt this is going to change behavior anyways. Kids simply don't think that far in advance, and he's going to think he needs perfect behavior for a whole year in order to get gifts and love, and it's going to feel hopeless and he's going to keep on doing what he's doing. Not to mention that the retaliatory acts he's going to make against you for doing this are going to be far worse than any other behavior you've experienced from him. So, at this rate, you may not get to celebrate a Christmas with this child for years. The feeling I'm getting is that you feel if you cancel Christmas this one year, that the one act is going to cause all the behavioral issues to go away, and the truth in this matter is that it's not likely. One day is not going to miraculously change months of mishebavior.

The true spirit of the season is to be giving and forgiving. You can take the opportunity to share your feelings and ask your son what has been going on to make him act out and then help him with what he needs, and be forgiving. Forgiveness and giving gifts to a child simply because you love them and get joy from them and that they light up your life (despite behavior problems) is just the spirit of the season, and is this not exactly what God does and will do for all of us for the rest of our lives?

This is not to say that if this child acts out on the actual day that there is not punishment that should be due.

Do get to the root of the behavioral issues, and make it clear that gifts are not being given because you approve of his behavior, but that you also would like to help him get past the issues, and hopefully forgive him if that is what he seeks.

Answer 10

If Christmas is a holiday your family celebrates, then celebrate the real meaning of Christmas. Christmas is not about receiving presents. (but since this is how most families celebrate Christmas, children do not know any different) If you're going to 'eliminate' the presents, you need to sit down with your child and explain why and what is about to happen.
All I know is, I could not eliminate Christmas because my child was acting rotten.