Will it ever be the same?

Question

My bff died in a car accident recently. I'm trying to get into grief counseling. IT's not working. any advice???????

Answer 1

The counselling isn't working or the "trying to get in" isn't going well. I suggest you keep trying, it really does help. My advice is really to allow yourself to hurt. Its ok to grieve and cry and be angry, that's all normal and you NEED to do it for your own health. Don't worry about a timeline, do what you need to do when you need to do it. You'll have good and bad days for a while and that's ok. I'm sorry for your loss, take care.

Answer 2

I am so sorry for your loss. If your b/f died recently and you loved him, it is too soon for anything to help. It does take time. Keep trying to to get into grief counseling and if you can get into a grief support group I would do that.

I did not have a g/f or wife die, but I did become suddenly physically disabled and after the surgery and physical therapy made things worse, my wife of 17 years left me. She didn't die but I lost her just the same.

I got into a support group for people who were separated or divorced and it helped a lot. Being with other people who were in similar circumstances as me was very comforting. It was so helpful to tell people how I was feeling and know that they knew how I felt.

Also, listening to others who were going through the same thing but were at different stages in the grief process, helped me to not feel so alone in my grieving and to have hope that I would feel better in time.

I stayed in the group for 3 years and each year I felt better and could see that I was in a grief process and that the process ended with acceptance and hope for the future.

As far as the grief process goes, there is an excellent book, "On Death and Dying", by Elisabeth Kubla Ross. She was the person who first identified the different stages in the grieving process and in what order the stages usually follow.

I think that reading the book will not only give you good information but also help you see that the terrible emotional pain that you feel now is part of a process and that you will not feel this way forever.

That was my fear after I bacame disabled and my wife left me, that I would feel this bad forever. It was 5 years ago that I became disabled and my wife left me. I am still disabled but my grief about my x/wife leaving is gone and her and I are now good friends.

If you believe in God, pray to Him and ask Him for help with your grieving and with your other needs. He has answered my prayers so many times and let me know that He is with me and working in my life for my good and happiness.

God bless you and keep you.

Answer 3

I am so very sorry about your boyfriend's death. Call your local police department and ask for victim services. Someone there should be able to refer you to group counseling for survivors. You can also call the hospital in your area, many offer grief counseling. You can contact the National Organization for Victim Assistance - they also offer referrals. Nothing will ever be the same again, but after time and support, you develop a new normal. Take care, sweetie.

Answer 4

If it was recently, your probably still going through the mourning process and that is fine. You loved him, and now he is gone and your life is in shambles. Counseling may help, if you have a good counselor. But there are things you need to do. Stay around people that love you. Read an inspirational book, even if you are non religious. But never be afraid to grieve and never be afraid to face tomorrow. Each day will get brighter and in time you will heal. Focus on all of the strengths that you have. Good luck and God bless

Answer 5

There is no time limit for grief. I know that does not sound very helpful, but take your time in this. Something has happened in your life that has been a dramatic life changing event. Acknowledge it as much as you need to. You must cope with it. Always remember that you can grieve as much as you need to for as long as you need to. Talk to people. Let friends and family know how you are doing. It will help you feel a little better. Eventually, the pain won't be so bad, and you will think of them with a smile instead of tears.

Answer 6

Nothing makes this pain go aay ...theres no answer or pill that will help to alleviate your sadness.....
The counseling will help, don't isolate yourself....
Grief has many steps in it's process......saying it will go away won't help you now and life can be very unfair........There will be times when your are angry, don't believe it , WON"T believe it and more.........but as time passes it will show you it's mercies.You won't ever forget your love.......But keep him in your heart and do what is natural to us all......I'm so sorry for you , I recently lost both of my parents and lost my brother too......
Pray to God for peace around this whole matter and breathe the lost lovers breath of loss and grief .It's natural to grieve as you are.....I'm sorry for your loss.......PEACE

Answer 7

One day at a time hon. I know that is cliche & whatever but don't feel like you have to feel better NOW. It won't stop hurting for possibly years so don't expect too much of yourself so soon. Don't give up on the counseling. Keep with it.

Answer 8

Grief, mourn, and wail. You will be comforted. Sunshine will smile on you soon. hang in there. You are loved. if you want to talk one on one I'd be happy to help you through this difficult time. [e-mail]

Answer 9

No it will never be the same, it may seem to you that you will never recover, and while it will never be the same , it will be something different. It will be better, its true that they say as one door closes another opens.

Answer 10

im gonna be honest to say that i dont know cause ive never been in that situation before but i have heard that time heals all wounds. you wont forget, but hopefully heal to move on.