My mother has a mental illness and is letting a man take advantage of her. He treats her badly, verbally abuses and threatens her. I have no life of my own and spend my life cleaning for the two of them ect... I am worried for her saftey. She thinks she may break up with him and blames it on me even though i dont do anything .. i do everything for the family and never look or say anything offensive. All I want is for her to be happy. I feel my saftey is threatened and I feel wasted emotionally my dad thinks I should move in with him. My dad is normal and healthy. I cant take the blame for her life anymore.. I know it would crush her if I move in with my dad .. but she is not mentally stable.. could I please have some advice?
Thank-you
2006-12-15 16:19:02 · 11 answers · asked by goldenprincess1289 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think first you have to talk to your mother.Try to explain to her what bothers you,what makes your life miserable(i hope she cares about your life),what you dont like about this man and maybe you two can find a nice way to solve the problem.Ask her,why when he abuses her she tolerates it?Does she likes to be humiliated?And why they treat you like "Cinderella"?Tell her you love her and her happiness is really important,but you also have your own life to live and you need her help to move forward.
Let her tell you how she feels about all that(dont let her blame you for her ruined life) and let her tell you what she likes about this man.Maybe he aint that bad,maybe you dont like him because you have to share your mom with him?But even in that case,she is on first place a mother and then a wife and you have to be on first place.Your happiness has to be before hers.
Well,sometimes my dear things between children and parents dont work so be prepared for that.Talk to her and you will see,if she doesnt care about your life,future and hapiness,if her only and biggest problem is the relation with that man,then you should move to your father's home and begin to live your own life which is out there waiting for you. :-)
Good luck my dear.
2006-12-15 16:49:29 · answer #1 · answered by nitty : 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i hope that it actually works out for you, really i do
i have been in the same situation except that i Had no father, i actually moved out on my own i am not sure how old you are i was 16 when that happened.
if you think that you life is in danger then you really should move with your father and try and see you mum when you can.
Also you must look out for number 1 and that is YOU no one else
I'm not asking to abandon your mum I'm just saying that you should take a big break away from her and live with your dad and in the mean time you should get her some psychic help and see what your dad thinks of the situation.
i moved on my own and looked after me and i have tried to get her help now we are the best-est friends and i get alone with her more than before i have made me into who i am and that's what i think you should do
good luck and all the best
remember look after number ONE "YOU"
2006-12-15 16:27:47 · answer #2 · answered by musty118 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move in with Dad and tell him what's going on. Mom needs some help. Don't feel guilty for saving yourself. If there is someone you can talk to (guidance counselor at school, religious leader, a relative of hers) talk to them, but you do need to save yourself!! By all means let someone know what's going on--but you're not the one to handle this situation. Maybe her eyes would open and she'd get a grasp on things if you did go live with Dad.
2006-12-15 16:30:20 · answer #3 · answered by fallingstar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dad is right, it would be best for you to move in with him. Don't worry too much about mums feelings, she may actually be secretly happy that you are safely at dads and away from harm. Let Dad tell her you are going with him...call mum regularly to let her know you still love her. It will be okay.
2006-12-18 17:23:33 · answer #4 · answered by auntynoall 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move in with your dad. You shouldn't play a part in this sick drama. You deserve better. Think of the peacefulness you'll feel when you're not in that situation day to day.
2006-12-15 16:21:56 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Strain 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how old you are. Taking responsibility for ourselves is our first priority. You can't be responsible for your mother at this moment, it sounds to me you're still a teen, not able to be responsible for her and you at the same time. GO WITH YOUR DADDY, Find protection, love, grow, get stronger and maybe you'll be able to help your mother. Ask your father to help you get her some help. BUT REMEMBER: you're not your mom's parent. You can't be one. YOU need a parent yourself.
Best wishes.
2006-12-15 16:42:33 · answer #6 · answered by WiseWisher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would go to your dad's. you are a good girl & need to worrie about your own safty & well being too! don't listen to your mom. it's not right for her to blame you. if she dosn't get help, you can't help her anymore! go and keep your self safe. don't feel gilty about it! i hope things get alot better for you. :)
2006-12-15 16:49:57 · answer #7 · answered by rblankenship_rblankenship 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if your mom blames you for every thing then you should move in with your dad to be safe..
2006-12-15 16:25:50 · answer #8 · answered by Junior 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to move in your dad's house so that your mom will realize your importance.
2006-12-15 16:24:37 · answer #9 · answered by diana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
call the cops. don't let him get away with it.
2006-12-15 16:21:19 · answer #10 · answered by thundergnome 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋