Mt boyfriend is 30 yrs old and I am 23. We have been living together for just 6 months.He just told me that he wants to adopt one of his nephews who is 13 yrs old, his mother died about 5 yrs ago, and I guess the people who he is living with are not treating him well. Should I just say ok lets adopt him or umm is it a big deal, something that we really need to talk and think about... I um sort of scared. My first reaction is that maybe I am not ready to take care of a teenager. But my boyfriend said that we were both adults and it should not be hard.
2006-12-15 14:20:35 · 7 answers · asked by Domingo 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Definitely discuss first. There are a number of things you need to know, including the personality of the boy. As much as we all want to help children in need, it can significantly change your relationship with your boyfriend. So... your boyfriend also needs to determine his priorities as well, and he needs to be sure he is the central figure in the child/uncle relationship. My husband and I had temporary custody of my niece and nephew several years ago & it was an incredibly difficult time. For us, the children had been mistreated for a period of time and had some very serious behavioral problems when they came to stay with us, and although things did improve somewhat over time, it was never a good situation for us personally. Good luck to you.
2006-12-15 14:28:20 · answer #1 · answered by suz_e_q_zee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think that the authorities let unmarried couples adopt a child together. Raising a teen is a big deal, they need a lot of guidance to make sure that they do well in school, socially, etc.
The financial part of having a teen is not only school fees, but fees for sports, music, allowance, health care, clothing (which they outgrow at the drop of a hat). Teens also go through hormone changes (if you remember your cycle) that you wouldn't believe along with a mouthy attitude.
You need to sit down and seriously talk about what it takes to raise a teen and if you are equiped at this point in your life to do so.
2006-12-15 22:31:25 · answer #2 · answered by kny390 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Has he looked into the possibility that Social services is probably not going to let an unmarried couple raise a teenager? He may have to chose between you and his nephew.
2006-12-15 22:48:47 · answer #3 · answered by Gabby_Gabby_Purrsalot 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should sit down with him and have a discussion about what this means for both of you...don't let him make the decision alone, since it involves you. Tell him what you think and feel about the idea, and if you are against it, then don't be afraid to tell him.
2006-12-15 22:23:32 · answer #4 · answered by Jen Armero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just believe that you can do it and try youre hardest, try to get to know his nephew and you might find that you have something incomin with him, so spend some quolity time w/ him and good luck!
2006-12-15 22:38:17 · answer #5 · answered by tishapixi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to put the13 year old shoes on and walk in them for a time OR think about what he is going he is liven in
2006-12-15 22:56:51 · answer #6 · answered by bill_ray56 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey.i think that you all should just sit down and tlk about it.and you should get to know his nephew before he adopts him.
2006-12-15 22:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by AnjelBaby:(- 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋