Alright, here we go. I was dating this guy from the Navy, and he's supposed to come home in March. Well, we decided to take a break and everything, just for us to both decide if we think being in a military relationship will work for us since he is stationed in Japan. Last night at around 5:00am someone knocked at my door so I went to see who it was, and it was him!!! Standing at my doorstep, in his uniform with a huge bouquet of roses!!!! I gave him a huge hug because I hadn't seen him in over 5 months since he had gone out of the states. so we sat there in my house and we talked for a while. He told me to close my eyes and he asked me if I could picture us being together forever and growing old together. I told him I could and I asked him why and I opened my eyes and he was on the floor on one knee and had a ring in his hand! I panicked!! I told him I had to think about it....I love him alot but I'm scared that we wont work out because of all of the traveling. PLEASE give advice!!
2006-12-15 14:18:54 · 16 answers · asked by Finally FREE!! 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
however long the distance is, it doesn't matter on two people who are so much inlove with each other. besides there's the telephones, cellphones and internet that can serve as your communication mediums. just see to it that you both have open lines and tell to each other all the things that are happening to both of you so that you'll not feel that you are far away with each other.
2006-12-15 14:25:12 · answer #1 · answered by diana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's had plenty of time to think about everything and to miss you big time to show up on your doorstep. I get the sense that you also love him.
Please sit down and talk to him about what you tnink and what your fears and hesitancies are. Can they be overcome? Gotten around? Lived through? For example: Can he get a new station, can you get some phone plan that allows for unlimited long distance including overseas, can you move to Japan, can you buy a web cam and "see" each other regularly, can you wait to marry until he gets back? These are all mechanical and logistical difficulties to problem solve. These are hurdles that are worth jumping over if a life and a love relationship are worth having with him at all.
The real question, the only question: Do you love him and does he love you? Can you even think for a moment that he's worthy of being your life partner and that you want to be his?
If the answer is in any way yes, then you owe it to him, and to yourself, to go to him and say what your fears and anxieties are. Brainstorm on how can they be worked out. Where/how can you compromise to make this work? This kind of talk can also help confirm for you who he is, what he's made of, how much you matter to him. It is also an opportunity for you to examine yourself and for him to examine you as closely that he's not making a mistake--he's put himself so far out there on the line already that he deserves a chance to hear you out and you owe it to him.
In sum, do not, do not, do not lose a person who has decided that you are the love of his life. Do not lose a person who sounds like he is the love of YOUR life just because you're afraid.
Or, I'll hunt you down and personally smack you silly myself.
2006-12-15 14:36:02 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i have alot of experience in this case! my husband is in the navy too so i know how you feel. i say GO FOR IT!! if you love him and he loves you, you won't regret it. this is a perfect opportunity for you to get to see places you may never get to other wise!! you meet great people from all over the world, learn about different cultures even pick up the lingo here and there!! yes it takes alot of courage to go somewhere new but its usually worth it. you will make new friends where ever you get stationed and yes you will need them when he has to be out for long periods of time, and yes keep that in mind that he won't always be there, but you can learn to adapt. there will be plenty of other wives in the same boat as you so it won't be terrible. you will get lonely at times but everything you will get to experience should make up for it. so if he's worth it then you won't mind. GOOD LUCK!!
2006-12-15 14:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by onyx maiden 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Awww...that is so sweet of him! If you love him marry him, but remember that good things are never cheap! Of course you will face challenges because of his traveling, but you must sacrifice something in order to gain something greater in return, and if you two truly love each other then it will all be worth it in the end. Best wishes!
2006-12-15 14:26:47 · answer #4 · answered by Yul'ka 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
can you hadle being without him the whole time he is gone? would you trust him while he is away from you? once you get married is there anyway you could be close to him where ever he is stationed at? in all reality, no one who answers your question can give you the "right" answer, the right answer is the one you feel is right...
2006-12-15 14:24:23 · answer #5 · answered by mrsmohio 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love works things out like this. If you love him marry him but just know that there will be hard times and you will have to work thru them. Good luck!!!
2006-12-15 14:23:11 · answer #6 · answered by Jim V 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have to think about it, you probably do not love him, so say no, it will be best for you both later. In other words, if you do not love him enough to be his wife forever, he does not need a pretend marriage.
2006-12-15 14:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by m c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if you love him and can deal with the traveling go for it.. if you cant then dont. he probably realizes that hes takin a big chance askin you like that so he needs to realize that if it doesnt work he cant blame you too much. like i said if you can deal with him traveling GO FOR IT!!! as long as you love him.
2006-12-15 14:25:25 · answer #8 · answered by me mo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
okay,well you what do u think? do you mind being away from? If i was i would say because he will probally stay home alot more for you!
2006-12-15 14:27:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is so super sweet think about it and if u really luv him do what ur heart tells u and if its right 4 u
2006-12-15 14:24:32 · answer #10 · answered by lola :) 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋